Is underage sexual activity ever NOT traumatic, or even enjoyable, for the kids?

[Freudian_Slit]

@Lumpy

I’ve heard of this before, and its quoted endlessly as an example of how cultural mores can differ. (“There’s a whole society where…”). I have some scepticism. I wonder if this custom began literally as a lie some pederast told a gullible youth. I know this sounds snarky, but when you read about cases of genuine exploitive abuse, a common occurance is that the abuser tries to promulgate a fantasy/lie where the abuser’s behavior is right and normal.

Also it makes you wonder what happens if one of the boys, say, just doesn’t (for whatever reason) want to participate. Do they make him? Would we consider that sexual abuse?

[Lumpy]

Just to clarify: I don’t doubt that there IS a society with that custom. I was simply questioning whether this therefore means that socially institutionalized pederasty is part of a “natural”* range of cultural mores.

*It was the Marquis DeSade who argued that since people are products of nature, anything they happen to do is by definition “natural”.

[DaphneBlack]

I think it has been pretty heavily documented amongst the Iatmul people (studied by a number of different anthropologists). That doesn’t mean it wasn’t invented at some relatively recent time by a powerful sicko, but it would go against it being some kind of legend.

[jackdavinci]

@Lumpy

I was simply questioning whether this therefore means that socially institutionalized pederasty is part of a “natural”* range of cultural mores.

“Natural” is by definition that which is already occurring, so it’s not a useful benchmark. All customs were at some time new, and any custom that has become widespread can be said to be “natural”.

What is traumatic? Any event that is highly resisted. Other than physically painful events, the only thing that makes an event traumatic is that it is not wanted. Which means either 1) it is not expected for cultural reasons or 2) it is expected but not desired for personal reasons. It would seem then that many traumatic events that are not physically painful are traumatic simply for the particular expectations of a particular culture’s traditional way of life, and not some inherent nature of the event itself. And there are plenty of things we expect our children to do even though they don’t want to, some very painful like medical procedures (some useful like shots and repair surgery, some completely arbitrary like circumcision), and some that are traumatic simply because the children are afraid or resistant for a personal reason. I could easily imagine a society where there was some sexual aspect to a coming of age ritual, and it being more traumatic for the child not to experience it because it was part of their culture. I think the “trauma” of non violent and consensual sexual experiences has more to do with cultural expectations and stigma than the inherent nature of the event itself.