I’m looking for some advice about what I should do about the following situation:
My cousin is getting married in May of 2006 on the island of St. Thomas. I am supposed to be the matron of honor. (Matron! is that what I am? Jeez.) I originally told her that if she decided on an island wedding, I may not be able to attend. My husband and I are not doing too well financially – he just had his second hip replacement in two years last week and has been out of work most of this time. I have a full time job, and I recently took a part time job so that we could at least stop living on credit. We are in a lot of debt. That should be a LOT of debt, actually. Like $30K.
According to expedia, one flight would cost about $450. I would like to bring my husband, of course, so that’s $900 plus several more hundred for lodging.
Anyway, she told me that if it was important to me, I would make it happen. I think this is unfair of her to say, to make me feel guilty like that, and I told her so. We have gotten into some pretty heated arguments about it. Somehow, she always makes me look like I don’t love her if I just don’t make it happen. I do love her, even if she is being a selfish bitch and was a pretty crappy (according to my other bridesmaids) maid of honor to me.
I know I have a year to “save”. The thing is, we are barely getting by as it is, and how about that 30K? mr. meow won’t be able to work until September or so.
Should I suck it up and go? The thing that kills me is the reason she is having it there is so that she and her fiancé can save money by not having a fancy wedding here so they can buy a house. Hey! I’d like to save for a house too, but my own marriage vows (sicker! poorer!) have so far prevented us from doing that.
Am I being a tacky bitch by spoiling the bride to be’s thoughts of her special day by bringing up my financial problems?
I’m so Charlie Brown wishy washy. I feel like I’m being irresponsible if I go or if I don’t. If I don’t go, I fear that things in the family will never really be OK again.