At least I have leftover Christmas wrap.
And the windchill here is -17F.
And even my dog doesn’t want to go outside let alone myself.
And this wireless keyboard is running on empty. The Energizer bunny battery is on life support.
And I am out of coffee.
Me grouchy this morning?
Nope. Not me.
Well, yes I am. I blame it all on Canada.
And the piano it sounds like a carnival …
And the microphone smells like a beer …
I was prepared to sympathize, but surely no real Canadian would ever be “out of coffee”.
It is the day after Christmas and I am broke as all heck
After overspending on gifts I’m in hock upto my neck
The stocking on the floor by the chimney o’er there
Their contents all emptied; they’re totally bare.
The children are jumping & bouncing on beds
Sensible brekkie? Nah, chocolate & sugar cookies instead.
He’s not Canadian. Return gifts for gift cards, buy coffee and other necessaries.
My idea was similar:
It’s the day after Christmas, and I am broke as heck
Two eight-six.
Gifts is too much.
So I need to wa-ait for my paycheck.
Blame Canada, blame Canada
It seems that everything’s gone wrong
Since Canada came along
Blame Canada, blame Canada
There not even a real country anyway.
It is the day after Christmas and I am broke as all heck
in the drunk tank/An old man said to me…
Hey! Who threw that?
It’s been a few days now
Still short a few bucks
New gloves, thank you Mama
This weather, it sucks
Got gas with a gift card
Bought food with another
Saved balance for later
Put wine on Discover
Went home to the child
slime kits, what a geek!
Donned new pink pig slippers
I’m done 'til next week.
It been days
I am not broke
I bought my Christmas gifts in May
I am a smart ass
I don’t care
I will do it again
As long as I have lists.
Yes I payed the bank note, the car note, and yes I payed the phone bill too
And then I turned around and I found that the house note’s due
Well I’d love to take you out like I said I would honey
But there’s too much month at the end of the money
But the last time I played Father Christmas
I stood outside a department store
A gang of kids came over and mugged me
And knocked my reindeer to the floor…
When I’m 50 (very soon), I have vowed to never spend any money on anyone but myself at this awful time of year. It is SO not worth the bills, stress, bickering, stress, food, stress…
My one Genie wish would never be for money, fame, or immortality. It would be for everyone to suddenly forget the December holidays across the board. All of them. December would feel like January, except New Year’s Day would have to be forgotten too, since the Eve starts in December.
Imagine the money saved on just cards and paper.