For the last couple of years I have been living with my sister and her family but I guess I have outstayed my welcome. Last week she called me at work to tell me that her son and his girlfriend want to move back home and need to know a timeline for when I will be moving out.
I don’t think this is the real reason they want me to move on since he has been living at home for several months in the past while I was there and there is plenty of room. It’s a five bedroom house with only three occupied. So I think they have just become weary of having me there. I know what that’s like as I have hosted my brother in the past and despite him being my brother I never really felt at home when he was there.
To make things worse I was told yesterday that I should start looking for another job as my employer has not had any billable work for me for several months with no prospects in sight. He can continue with my employment for a few more weeks before he has to let me go.
I’m looking for a job now but it’s going to be an uphill battle - I’m 52 years old and suffer from severe social phobia which makes it very difficult to sell myself in interviews. In fact it makes it very difficult to even get an interview since I’m so nervous on the phone that I sound like a fool.
In two weeks I will be moving out of my sister’s house and into my 19 year old car. I don’t feel scared. I feel like a failure.
Wow. I am so sorry for the situation you’re in. Are there any resources for the homeless where you live? There could be safety nets, assistance of some kind.
If you could say where you are, perhaps some people here would know about what you could seek out.
Try to find a salvation army and ask questions about shelters,sleeping rooms,etc. You may not need them right now but, if you ever do you’ll have at least some ideas of what to do and where you can go. I don’t know if it gets cold where you live, it’s getting warm now but cold weather is going to come back so it’s also something to think about and prepare for.
Shelters wont work for me because of my social phobia. I will be much more comfortable in my car. I’m in Sydney, Australia so the weather is cooling now but it doesn’t get very cold here.
Social Security down here are very sceptical about things like social phobia. People in general have no idea how crippling it can be and tend to dismiss it as bull dust.
Apart from that I have no interest in yielding to life on disability payments. I think that would be the end of any chance I have at a future that doesn’t involve perpetual poverty. I believe I will get out of this mess into a new job and a place of my own in which to live. It may take several months though.
Sorry, I didn’t realize you are in Australia. I have no idea about what programs you might have access too. Just realize that those programs are in place to help people and sometimes it’s hard to fathom that you are those people.
With an extreme mental disability like a ‘social phobia’ you should be able to get a psychiatric diagnosis to qualify you for the Disability Support Pension, or at least the provisional Newstart Allowance. It may not be a lot of $, but it will be enough to pay for a crappy room in a shared house, and enough to pay for Mi Goreng noodles for most of your meals.
You might need to LEAVE your job though before it terminates…go visit your GP and take his advice from there. It may mean that you can continue to get wages while still being eligible for PNA.
Just be warned that they’re really cracking down on DSP applications. Despite multiple physical disabilites, they’ve knocked ME back. Heaven help those with a mental condition!
Sorry, the change time limit cut me off - here’s the full post:
Sorry, but none of this makes a lick of sense. Your family is kicking you out knowing you’ve no place to go? It doesn’t sound like it - sounds like they asked you to come up with a plan and timeline for when you will be leaving, and don’t know you’ll soon be unemployed. Which comes across like you being a drama queen, tbh.
And you have to live in your car, rather than get your own place? You’ve no savings despite living in someone else’s home for the last two years and driving a 19 year-old car, at age 52 (typically the largest expenses people have are places to live and transportation)? Where’s your money been going all this time? With social phobia I doubt you’re out clubbing every night, so…?
Here’s what actually appears to be happening: you’re being asked to get your shit together before you’re old enough to retire, which is none too soon. You’ve got weeks more income coming in and you’ll be collecting unemployment for some time after that, so rather than write off even attempting to find another job, you could actually try, imaginary phobias or not (yeah, I’m not big on everyone self-diagnosing themselves with problems, sorry).
If your sister really is kicking you out, you’ve the time and resources to buy a place to live, in the form of an old, small RV/camper/caravan, if you’re truly that desperate. There are several onebay.aus, and that will beat attempting to live out of a car.
Social phobia is an easily treatable medical condition. It is not a disability. Go see your doctor. Treatment might help you with other aspects of your life, the ones epbrown01 mentions.
Don’t give up Imasquare … this is just a speed bump in life.
you will get another job … you will get another place to live
you will be all the wiser … you won’t make the same mistakes next time.
Don’t give up … stay active. Try volunteer work at the soup kitchen, share your testimony with anyone that will listen.
Stay clean, stay healthy, stay away from other street people drink just water, give up all known sin, have a little talk with Jesus, enjoy the fresh air.
I’ll never forget using my back pack for a pillow and sleeping near the dumpster where people drop off donations for the salvation army and waking up with no backpack. Everything I had left was in that backpack and all I could do is walk away and start all over again.
That was 1984 30 years ago and I am still alive and healthy and a better person for what I went through. Life is just a series of speed bumps, don’t give up, time is on your side.
Watch out for cops and bad guys, put your back against the wall and think of a way out, but no suicide okay. Life is worth living even if it’s on the bottom rung of the ladder.
Stay in touch on here through the library or something like Wi-Fi pad.
I was forty when I hit bottom and now I am 70 … you’ll make it
A good way to find immediate work here in the US is to sign up with a temporary work agency. Working temp jobs often leads to being hired on a full time basis. Good luck on your search, Imasquare.
