It looks like I won't commit adultery this week

[Acsenray]

@Arglefraster

I just wanted to say that I absolutely love that metaphore (or is it a simile? I can never remember the difference). I don’t know when the opportunity will come up to use it, but when it does, I’m totally using that.

Metaphor.

I am a dog = metaphor
I am like a dog = simile

[An_Arky]

I Wanna Be Your Dog - Iggyphor

[Astroboy14]

I burning your dog. – (um, what was that guy’s name?)

[The_Devil_s_Grandmother]

Cheer up TokyoPlayer, there’s always next week.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Astroboy14

I burning your dog. – (um, what was that guy’s name?)

It was Thaidog, wasn’t it? (Assuming you’re seriously asking.)

[mbh]

@Jayn_Newell

I still giggle at one a boy managed to pull in high school. He was the class clown, and one day after he’d been acting up a little the teacher suggested he move his desk up next to hers. What he wanted to say was “I’m not completely insane.” However, forgetting what the French word for ‘insane’ was (fou), he did what we all normally did–bastardize the English one, which in this case sounds nothing like its translation.

So what he wound up saying was “Je ne suis pas completement enceint,” or, “I’m not completely pregnant.”

A lot of Spanish and English words are very similar. You can frequently make yourself understood by taking an English word and changing the ending to “-o” or “-ado”.

However, “Estoy embarrazado” does NOT mean “I am embarrassed”.
It means “I am pregnant”.

Sooner or later, just about everyone makes that mistake.

[Captain_Carrot]

Awww, we never do what I want to do!

[SciFiSam]

When learning Cantonese, I was told to make sure my pitch was right when saying the word for mother - because it can also be the word for horse. ‘Can I ride your mother?’ Probably wouldn’t go down too well.

One of my EFL students, on shown different pictures of difefrent types of buildings, commented that the modern tower block wasn’t a place she’d want to live ‘because of all the semen.’

‘You wouldn’t want to live there because of the what?’

‘The semen. There’s lots of semen there. I don’t like semen.’

She meant cement.

(Other students: ‘we were just disgusting in the corridor.’ Discussing, boys, discussing. It wouldn’t be correct without an object, but still, you’re not disgusting).

[trupa]

@tdn

My anecdote would be funnier if I knew how to spell it, but…

A college professor was having dinner in Montreal. He wanted to say something in French to her, but he wanted to sound like a Real American, what with a southern drawl and all.

“Mer-see boh kew!”, he said.

Apparently she almost slapped him.

Native Quebec French speaker here. It took me a while to figure it out, but if the vowel sound at the end is closer to the French " U" (sorry, doesn’t exist in English) instead of the " oooo" or " ou" sound, then he said

(pg13 language)

Thanks, beautiful ass.

How the hell did a Southerner manage to say a French “u” though?