I had an ultrasound today. Along with the usual new parent worries, I have an incomplete picture of my family history. The lack of information is frustrating. My mind easily wanders to potential health problems that may be lurking among the mysterious nucleotides I carry. (Sadly, my family embodies the Southern “lack of genetic diversity” cliché. Also, on my father’s side, there are characteristics that are common in an Asian or Native American background. No explanation. We’re white. Don’t think any different.)
The Mouseling is completely normal, healthy, stubborn and female. The tech poked my abdomen several times trying to get her to cooperate, to no avail. * I’m comfy here, so there.* We were able to get a good view of her legs, feet and labia. Her face startled me: tiny nose and mouth with big black eyes, looking out (well, not really) at us. The baby’s posture suggested that her whole body was wedged into a tight corner.
Mouse_Spouse and I want a healthy child. Frankly, we thought that the Mouseling was a boy. We were a little disappointed. For me, a boy seemed easier than a girl. Playing with cars, running around like mad, looking at trucks and trains, I could get into. Girls scare me. I don’t like pink. I’ve never had any desire to be a “princess” and never played with dolls. (My Little Ponies and Brother’s Lego’s were my favorite toys as a child.) I’m borrowing trouble. There is no way to know the future. Maybe our daughter will be like my niece, plays with Barbies and likes to play in the mud.
Now, Spouse and I will go over our name list and start getting ready for the newest member of our family!
Whatever you do, Mouse_Maven, don’t try to insist that your girl won’t be a girly girl. That’s when you’re really asking for trouble. My sister firmly insisted that she would not be dressing her daughter in any frills or pink or any of that stuff. Well, that was fine until my niece got a mind of her own (as stubborn as her mother, imagine that) and insisted that she was, indeed, a princess! There’s also no reason to worry that your girl will definitely be a girly girl. I know lots of girls (myself included) who liked Barbies and My Little Ponies but were also perfectly content to play with trucks and in the mud. You’ll do just great either way, I’m sure.
Don’t worry, you’ll count fingers and toes once she’s out even if you already knew.
Remember, male/female roles are imprinted by family/society, not in born. She’ll be whatever you expect her to be, at least at first. Once she’s about 6, all bets are off. Then she follows her peer group and you’ll be just an embarrassing provider of stuff.
And remember, being a girly girl at some stage in life doesn’t guarantee that she will be one for all her life. Kids try out different roles.
I loved playing with Barbies for a while, and now… well, let’s just say that the distance between me and anything resembling a girly girl would probably be best expressed in light years. I think Bush I was in office the last time I did anything with my nails other than cut them when they break, and the last three times I wore makeup were at my sister’s wedding in 2005, my wedding in 2003, and my high school senior picture in 1992.
My mom had an ultrasound for her last baby, and they told her it was a boy: the ultrasounder kept pointing the penis out to us, and I couldn’t see it. (As an aside, my mom made an offhand comment to the tech about how I thought it had to be a girl since she was “due” after having two boys – no, mom, I didn’t ever say that.)
Well anyway, the baby plopped out on Thanksgiving day and it was a girl
The kid will like what the kid will like. Though I have found a truly surprising amount of gender-based predispositions - my little boy always loved “boy stuff”, it seemed to be instinctual - he had toys and stuffed animals and dolls offered to him, and invariably picked the toy cars; his first pseudo-word wasn’t “momma” or “dada”, it was “vroom-vroom!”
It is funny to see the parents on the overpass over the train tracks near my mom’s house - all, pretty well without exception, are parents of little boys.
Our kid simply isn’t interested in stuffed toys or dolls - he tosses them aside. Anything mechanical he loves.
I have one of each and they aren’t “boy” or “girl,” they are themselves. If anything, though, I think it’s easier for girls to avoid stereotypical stuff than it is for boys. They can wear pretty much anything they want, do sports or not, be a tomboy or a girly girl, have any interests or hobbies they want. Boys get much more flack from their peers if they don’t conform.
I’m not a girly woman and my daughter has a mix of her own interests and tastes. She kind of digs fairies and unicorns, but prefers dragons. She kicked all the humanoids out of her doll house and replaced them with miniature bears. She reads trashy series books about ponies and preteen angst, but she can’t wait to go to Reptile Camp in a couple of weeks.
I just really don’t even know how one can see fingers and toes on an ultrasound, much less labia. I was never able to see Soon-To-Be-Third-Grade-Caricci. Oh, I pretended to, don’t get me wrong, but I never saw a thing. And, I hate to tell my sister, but I can’t see her baby either.
Like there aren’t enough countries in the world where ‘It’s a girl!’ is a cause for disappointment (or termination)? Leave your hang ups out of it. Get the kid some Legos and be happy if/when she comes out healthy. Geesh.
Me too. Every ultrasound I’ve ever seen looked like a badly drawn Rorschach test.
She or he will be what they will be. With my daughter (who turns 21 this summer) each phase of her development was better than the last. It’s been awesome watching her develop into a strong, smart young woman.
You’re going to love watching your Mousling grow and change, it’s a blast. You’re going to be a great mom.
Compared to Western blot films, UV images of an agarose gel, ummm-tra-sound (me palpating a mouse’s bellying, going “Ummmm. Is this a tumor?”) and Boss’ handwriting, an ultrasound looks much clearer!
I came off wrong on the OP. We’re thrilled to have a healthy kid. I’m just intimadated by the responsiblity and what could happen. (I’d probably freak just as much if it was a boy. Panic, its what I do. )
Count me as another who would like to state that kids’ personalities seem to be predetermined. My daughter (9) is kind of a girly girl, but she also is really into animals and has no problem handling snakes, spiders, toads, and the like.
She just developed that way. I think there’s only a tiny bit of environmental influence on personalities and a whole slew of predetermination: almost like sexual orientation, really.
All I can say is…YEAH!!! Mousling is healty and either way (girl or boy) if you are having a girl you and Mouse_Spouse will be awesome parents. We have 2 boys and they can be a handful. I was a handful for my parents, I was a big rebel back then! Now we need to have a baby shower! No geeky games either. As for a name, I like Janelle, Kylie, Kaitlyn, Brigid…Many congrats on your healthy baby girl!
There’s also no reason to worry that your girl will definitely be a girly girl. I know lots of girls (myself included) who liked Barbies and My Little Ponies but were also perfectly content to play with trucks and in the mud. You’ll do just great either way, I’m sure.
but… I thought that watching Teletubbies is what made you gay?