I bet your Mum thinks it sucks too, go and give her a big hug.
I agree that one absolutely should not be embarrased, but I think it would be hard for a child or teen not to be, if a family member (for whatever reason) acts or looks at all odd or strange. It takes a cirtain amount of maturity not to worry, “what will people think?” Forget about anything serious, kids can be embarrased about a parent who dresses oddly.
Start, FWIW if a family is giving a $ 40,000 vehicle to an 18 year old for his birthday that’s not really a useful basis to call yourself “poor” by. In fact it’s asinine to think you are “poor”. You’re at the lower end of the middle class scale.
Even lawyers I know making over a million a year would usually get their college bound kids a good used car for 10 or 15 K, not a brand new $ 40,000 Avalanche. His family is making a quite deliberate and ostentatious “conspicuous consumption” display with this purchase that resonates on several different levels beyond a car for junor. You need to get your head back in the real world.
Uh, who’s Larry Jones?
Dude, I think that I have spotted your family’s money leak. It is time to start cleaning house right there. Start with your least favorite and work your way down.
I can’t imagine how sad it must have made your mom when you asked her to buy new furniture and she had to tell you there wasn’t enough money.
It does suck ass not to have what everyone else has, but it’s like that as an adult for the vast majority of people, so get used to it and deal. Or you’ll end up like some of my friends who do nothing but constantly harp on how much they hate their houses compared to “so and so” who is loaded. Be grateful for what you have and don’t worry about what other people think.
i live in a moderately nice house in a not-so-nice neighborhood. not so nice as in i often encounter heads when im walking to school, as in we have to lock all our doors at night and we dont let my little brother go out alone at night. im right in the middle of all my friends… i have a lot of friends that are a little poorer than me and then some that are RIDICULOUSLY rich. I dont actually like to go to my rich friends houses because it makes me uncomfortable. But i do wish i didnt have to take the bus everywhere…
Your friend might find his spacious and quiet home somewhat lacking compared with the warmth and intimacy of your surroundings.
It’s really easy to envy people (not saying you’re going that far with it) but you never really know the whole story of how they’re living. There are a lot of awful things taking place in beautiful surroundings. And everyone pays a price for what they get, sooner or later. We live in a small apartment, but it’s cozy and we’re always near our kids. My cousin has a big house - because her husband’s never at home, he’s always working.
It’s great that you took a minute to de-clutter your home. Maybe you could rent a carpet cleaner and give the floor a once-over? As long as your place smells good (bake an apple with some cinnamon if you need to) your friend will most likely have a positive impression. Be proud of yourself and where you live, and your friend will follow your lead.
Define “heads”.
You have seven siblings ( half or full, it does not matter). That is freaking cool, in my book. Even if every one of them are pinheads and idiots, it is still cool.
You are the Weasley Family to his Dursley Family.
Um, I know we’re all trying to be supportive and all, but I find the general “his family is probably miserable and unhappy” vibe to be a little unsettling. Because he’s got a bigger house and is getting an ostentatious car dosen’t mean his family is the Dursleys - they may be conspicuous consumers but it dosen’t mean their house isn’t as full of love and affection as anybody else’s.
START, as a parent I’d like you to know that it breaks my heart when I can’t afford to buy whatever it is that my son wants. With 8 children, I can imagine your mom spends a good portion of her time fairly heartbroken for one reason or another.
I agree that you should go give her a hug and realize that you have something that alot of people never will, a large family to grow up and grow old with.
It might not seem like much, but I was an only child (and ‘1 bd apartment in the bad part of town’ poor) until I was 15 and my mom remarried someone with a 10 yr old daughter.
Despite the fact that we hated one another pretty much until I moved out on my own… my sister is one of the most important people in my life today. (Eleven years later)
My parents still live in a pretty modest house in not the best area of town and there’s alot that could be done to clean it up, redecorate and get rid of some of the clutter, that place is more precious to me than any mansion. That little place is home.
It’s where my sister and I have the chance to get together and run around the house, turn the hose on one another, and pretend that life didn’t take us so far away from eachother.
It doesn’t make much sense when you’re young and eager to get rich and move away and thumb your nose at your modest beginnings, but when you grow up and look back, I promise you that there will be times when you would give anything you’ve earned for those peeled walls and that stained carpet.
Baubles and yachts don’t mean squat. If you need all that “stuff” to make you feel important, then you definitely have character defects. If you have your good health, good family, and good friends, man you got it all.
I am Middle Middle Class, I guess you could say. My house is not so good (crappy furniture, in desperate need of a coat of paint, several home improvement projects half done, including the upstairs bathroom which doesn’t have any walls at the moment), but all my friends love to come over here because they like my family (actually, I suspect that some people come over just to hang out with my parents) and because we have Pop Tarts and juice boxes. Seriously, if you want everyone to be your friend, give them a juice box.
Personally, I don’t think you friend will even notice your house - he’s there to see you.
When I was your age and lived with my parents, they owned a really nice house. Big yard, etc. etc. I was horrified when someone who turned out to be one of my best friends confided that when we first met, she was ashamed to have me over to her house because she lived in a shabby duplex. She told me years after we’d met - honestly, I’d never thought about it at all. It was clean. She always had good snacks. There was a TV. And her mom left us alone. For a kid in highschool, it was paradise.
Honestly, of all the things in the world to worry about, this isn’t one of them. 
START, based on your description of your house, I would have envied you if we grew up together. Actually, I still do.
I wont go into details. Trust me when I say we were lower class. We didn’t even come close to lower middle class.
Visiting friends who came from lower middle class families was torture for me. They had real houses - along with everything else we couldn’t afford (CD players, computers, new clothes, fruit and vegetables etc.) BUT, they all loved to come to my house. My mother trusted us and left us alone. Our furniture may have been older than we were but it was really comfortable. We couldn’t afford healthy food so we had junk to snack on.
I now have all that stuff I didn’t have as a kid. But, I still feel inferior to my friends and future in-laws because they’re all more financially stable. They have nice houses while I just have a crappy condo. They have nice clothes and I still shop at Goodwill. An you know what? My friends still love to come over here.
You’re always going to feel inferior to someone else. It’s part of life. The economy would collapse if we didn’t spend our lives trying to catch up to our neighbors and friends. The only thing you can do is this: while you’re feeling inferior to your friend, keep in mind that other people feel inferior to you and your friend probably feels inferior to someone else.
What ccwaterback said.
Try to relax and enjoy your friend and make him feel *welcome * in your home. My guess is you know this but just got your head turned a little in the face of such affluence.
And go give your mom a hug and tell her you rethought that request about the furniture.
I was trying to make a funny. It failed. Profuse apologies.
Adding another resounding echo to the theory that your friend will probably like hanging out at your house, not only because he likes YOU and has fun with you but because the grass is always greener on the other side. Maybe not ALL of the grass (he may still be glad he’s getting that Avalanche), but generally everyone can find a patch or two to covet in a neighbor’s yard.
I grew up in a mid-to-upper middle class environment. It wasn’t always that way, but I lucked out and got my parents when they were older and better-established financially, and they had already gotten three of their four kids out of the house by the time I was nine (so I got to be, basically, the spoiled only child).
My best friend, however, lived in an apartment with a mother whom some might have considered way too young to have a daughter my friend’s age, a stepdad, and two younger brothers.
I thought her life ROCKED. I wanted to live in an apartment with a gazillion neighbors to greet! I wanted a young, hip mother who let us eat have snacks of cookie dough and Kool-Aid and taught us the words to Steely Dan’s “Do It Again”! I wanted a step-dad whom I could call “Steve” (or by some other equally manly first name) instead of “Dad”! I wanted little siblings I could hate for sneaking into my room and putting Play-Doh in my shoes!
It all sounded so marvelous. And for the record, I never even noticed the furniture, I only knew that their house was a place where you could run around and make a mess and have fun and where the grown-ups took you seriously enough to hang out with you and ask you questions about your life. Plus, living in an apartment, she had access to a POOL. How cool was that?
So I’ll go as far as to say that I bet your friend will not only be cool with the way you live . . .
. . . he might even be a little envious.