It sucks to be a moderate

Everybody can tell me to fuck off if you don’t like this. I’m used to that. Being a moderate means pissing everybody off. The following aren’t things posted on this board, they’re just included to help you get the general idea.

“This whole illegal immigration brehaha is a touch ridiculous” I’m a commie.

“I know the disaster in the gulf is bad, but we need to keep drilling” Apparently, I kill sea turtles.

“Gay marriage? Why not?” Why do I hate American values?

“On the whole, firearms are a good thing for citizens to have” I should join a militia.

I guess my point is that we should move away from categories and political platforms. Also, I just got done with my Nursing finals (A’s!.. well one B). Not bad for second career. And I’m kinda drubk right now.

…but just moderately, right?

It’s not the complete works of Shakespeare, but it’s a start.

Let’s just say it’s not conservative.

When you’re a moderate you can’t find anyone to go all superior on. No wonder you’re drunk!

“So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth.”

– Revelations 3:16

Do I have to knock you upside the head with your own bible to bring home the point that my views piss everybody off, yet I still stand by them?

Your views would likely piss people off in either case. You’re not special.

Also, I’ll trade you this banana for that gun. C’mon [wags banana] you know you want it.

Time again for this;

An interesting delima, can we tell him to fuck off since he’s given us permission even though it’s against the rules? Nah, I guess he’s in a diminished capacity since he’s drubk.

Not tempted. I’m more into gooseberries now. I just grind them under my heel till they squeel “Reagan and Clinton were both great presidents!”

Then I make pancakes.

You’re not a true moderate - a moderate doesn’t care about this, that, or the other thing.

What you are is “all over the map”. Which is to say you don’t align with anybody’s party line, but have instead picked hot-button opinions from here, there, and everywhere. Which is fine, except that everybody will hate you.

Being a moderate does, however, give you the opportunity for holier-than-thou posturing with respect to perceived ideologues. Don’t forget to take advantage of that.

To paraphrase from Lethal Weapon: Angst ridden assertion-Conservatives and Liberals hate me! Reply-Hate them back! It works for me…

:stuck_out_tongue:

-XT

Imagine no moderates . . .

I have it on good authority that Reagan never got a blowjob. He did stick a finger or two up Nancy’s aft-pooter however.

Also, Reagan was a terrible president. :smiley:

“Beige Alert, Your Neutralness!”

“If I don’t make it, tell my wife I said hello.”

Now that I think about it, I DO think it gives me a holier- than - thou - thou posture, because I think that anybody who thinks they are holier than thou are not, which gets me thinking that I’m not correct in thinking I’m holier than thou who is holier than thou. But that can’t be true because your’re thou and I’m me. And I’m an idiot. I’m not holier than anybody.

I’m shocked, shocked that Presidents have sex!

It’ll be okay. Just sit down and have a gin and tonic, you’ll get through this.