People are very complex. The Sharps left their two young children to go to Europe, where they perhaps saved the lives of dozens of Jews and risked their own in the process. They are heroes. And it perhaps ruined their marriage and left lasting scars on their own children.
It sounds like your grandfather placed great value on public service. That is admirable, even if his behavior to you was not always kind.
When I was a child I approached a world with a what-can-you-do-for-me? attitude that prevented me from ever noticing how interesting, intelligent, and kind my parents’ friends and my older relatives were.
Now the relatives are dead and I’ll never know what they were really like, because all I judged them by was whether I liked the toys or candy they brought me.
At least most of my parents’ friends are alive and accessible and I can interact with them as adults do and appreciate them for all their wonderful qualities.
I have no doubt that children who know me see me as that boring grown-up lady who monopolizes mom’s time every time she comes over and tells jokes that aren’t funny. Oh well.