I used to work at an office where there was one woman who was notorious for rendering one of the women’s bathrooms unusable. She had a number of health issues, was also pretty psychologically frail. (One of those workers who is often seen sobbing over some routine happening.)
Anyway, her immediate coworkers devised an “early warning system” to spare folks from walking into the wall of stench: A discreet change in the position of a posting on a corkboard outside that bathroom warned them to head for one of the other bathrooms. If this poor woman knew that there was a bulletin board indicator of whether or not she had gone potty recently, I’m sure that she would have been mortified.
Although I don’t think anyone ever let it slip (and I certainly hope she never found out about it) it was a pretty well-known signal. Hell, I knew about it, and I worked in another part of the building and certainly had no occassion to use any of the women’s washrooms. Still, I’d often walk by when my duties took me over there, see the board, and register “Oh, so-and-so pooped.”
I agree everyone poops and pees, it may be noxious sometimes but the people with the problem are those people who go to a restroom and giggle at someone who they think just stunk up the place. I would have been tempted to go up to one of those immature idiots and ask “Oh, and I suppose only roses and fairy dust ever come out of your butt.” Karma would dictate that these ladies get food poisoning or an intestinal flu at a most inopportune time. I think there’s supposed to be some sort of bathroom etiquette that whatever comes out in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom.
The people who are inexcusable are the ones who can’t seem to follow their toilet training when it comes to public restrooms. They pee all over the seat, they take dumps and don’t flush, they leave their used feminine hygeine products all over the place. Those are the people who have problems.
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least twenty times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.”
The doctor says, “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week.” The next week the lady comes back. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly.”
The doctor says, “Good, now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”
Years ago, when I worked for Ibum, the lower executives and us clerks used the same restroom. When my stall neighbor (I didn’t give a shit who) let out a loud, stinky fart I would always say something like “Good beer Gus” or, if I could, fart in turn and chuckle. I always got a laugh or a nice comment. Of course, when we went to wash our hands, not even a glance was exchanged. Shitting is a communal business.
'Course my shit dosen’t stink! :rolleyes:
Okay, so I was really sick the night we went to see Serenity, and I ended up having to sit through two consecutive shows in order to catch the whole movie. During the first attempt to watch it, I was spending some quality time in the bathroom, when some girls came in and started giggling and making what they thought were humorous observations on the aroma in the bathroom. Kinda pissed me off, seeing as how I was still in there making the aroma. Couldn’t be helped, y’know?