Absolutely she should take it up with the boss.
An employee behaving badly towards fellow employees is something he’s paid to deal with. PLUS! With a salesman, you’ve got the possibility that this guy could be treating the customers this way, too.
Threats of violence don’t exactly give one the moral high ground, however justified.
Don’t worry, ivy. You raised her properly. She’ll deal.
How about that gives the boss an out by saying “It’s not your job-You should have come to me first” and the other cavemen will rally around the jackass.
Make sure the guy is around her and a bunch of the other guys.
When he flirts with her have her say “Bob, I’d love to sit on your face”
Then after a bit of a pause, then say “Because I’ pretty damn sure your nose is bigger than your dick…and probably gets used more often too”
Just an idea.
Ghod…No. Just report the ass. Skip any juvenile tricks that can(and probably will) backfire and make it look like she was bantering back and not genuinely offended.
An amazingly bad one, but thanks for contributing!
I wonder if sexual harassment still exists in 2015 because of people who think that it’s better to do anything other than reporting to management/HR.
Not all car dealers are the same. I was a service advisor at four different car dealerships in LA for many years and the only people who sexually harassed me at any one of them were customers. All of my employers and fellow employees were fine. Actually stood up for me on several occasions. The customers, on the other hand…if they didn’t assume I knew nothing then they assumed I was easy. Sigh. (I also get real tired of people who assume that all car dealers are staffed with thieves and sexists.)
The point you’re missing is that this is the sales manager. Probably a good friend of the owner at that. You’re not going to win a battle in the dealership with this guy, you need to either bring in outside reinforcements, (legal assistance) or move on.
These matters come down to he said, she said, and the new hire is going to be the one walking if the shit hits the fan.
I don’t know what state this is happening in, but there must be a state office that deals with fair employment practices. Contact them asap.
I hate to be cynical, but is this an environment where the boss might look down on her for reporting this because she can’t take a bit of humor? I hate to say it, but it might be better to go to the guy first and tell him to stop it.
Always. ALWAYS say something directly first.
If you go to a manager and say Bob is hitting on you and you’d like it to stop, the first question is going to be “Have you told HIM to stop?”
I’m pretty hard core on this and I’ve seen in in both directions, but if you never made any effort to tell the guy to knock it off over the course of several advances, then the fault is yours for not directly telling that person to stop.
No reasonable person expects a subordinate employee to tell her manager that talking about putting his hands on her is inappropriate.
ITT: a bunch of stupid guys and stupid advice.
I think this is good advice. There is often a fine line between “badly flirting” and “harassing”, and she needs to make it clear to him that what he is doing is harassment - no ambiguity. How he reacts will determine what she needs to do going forward. If he respects her instruction, she can move on with the job without any negative repercussions that might come with bringing this to management. If he continues, she has a very real basis to complain to management. And if he starts treating her unfairly while ignoring her (i.e. maybe he gets other workers to mistreat her, or sabotages her work), having documented the incident (even if just making a note that describes the incident, her reaction, and the date) will help to explain to management why he is acting how he is, thereby justifying her later complaint about his behavior.
Please note, I am not condoning his actions. He has to be quite clueless to think that his comments are ok, and it’s completely unfair that she might be shunned by taking it up with management. But this might be the best way to a) stand up for herself and b) show her new co-workers (cow-orkers? I can never remember our Dope lingo) that she is a tough, straight-shooter who deserves respect.
Sigh. No, this guy is the Sales Manager. Reporting it wont do any good, except make her look bad to theses douchenozzles.
Update the resume, be on the lookout for a new opp.
Now if it doesnt happen again, let it slide.
If it does- move on. If it gets worse, consult a lawyer.
Well, then it will be a good sign for her to move along and find other employment.
‘No Reasonable Person’ ? Get real. If this ever hit a court and she was asked “did you ever tell him ‘no’?”, she’s pretty much fucked if she says she did not.
It is not the employee’s responsibility to stop the harassment themselves, nor should they be required to do that. Harassment training here at my job is required, and that’s one of the key principles they drill into us managers.
In any event, Ivygirl talked to her boss, who took her seriously. They thanked her for telling them, told her it would be handled internally, and to let them know if it happened again.
This isn’t rape, this is verbal harassment, which IIRC, is not a criminal act.
First, the purpose of the exercise is not to hit a court. Second, I’m a lawyer who has litigated several workplace harrassment cases, but thank you for the advice.