Okay, so I got a good deal on Easter candy at Ralph’s. But the idea is, when I bring out the good stuff, you should savor it.
I know it’s been a while since there’s been anything in there besides Bazooka gum and Coffee Nips. And I admit that I contributed to the demise of the Hershey’s kisses. But you are being way too hoggish with the Reese’s mini-cups. Friend, I see six little foil nuggets on the table in front of you, like you’re stockpiling ammo. And that’s been in an hour. But at least you take them one at a time. Mr. Rilch, you’ve got six of them in your hand! Do you mind…Thank you, but I don’t want them this minute. See, I’m putting them back in the bowl.
Of course you can have some! But I got these with the intention of having them last for a while. I may be able to get a good deal on what’s left after Easter, but there’s no guarantee, and meanwhile, let’s try to stretch these out, huh? They’re also for company, which we tend to get unexpectedly, and I hate to think that someone might show up and we’re down to the Bazookas again.
See, if you blow through a bag of candy in two days, on the third day, you will desperately need a chocolate fix because you’ve triggered full-fledged cravings, but the candy’s all gone, so you will either have to buy another one, or just be crabby. Better to pace yourself, like I do. Ever notice how I still have Valentine candy left on my birthday?
And Mr. Rilch: Didn’t I get you a bag of peanut M&Ms the same time I got this stuff? Why don’t you have some of them? I wish you’d keep in mind that this can’t be reciprocal, because your favorite candy is one I don’t like at all.
Of course, a gift of a See’s egg might smooth things over…
My husband is like that with candy and my world-famous guacamole. I have to serve him his OWN BOWL so the other guests can have some. It’s just an obsession with some people. He’s OK until I buy something. Then he can’t keep his hands out of it.
Savor?? Nope, sorry - all candy in dishes in common areas is fair game. Even candy in opened bags in common areas is fair game. In fact, candy not otherwise labeled as “Do not touch this or I will hurt you” is most definitely fair game.
I want to make sure I have the OP straight. You bought Reese’s mini-cups. Correct? And you expect a person to make them last. Right?
Wait, let’s go over this again. You expect a bag of mini-cups to have a life expectancy of, how long, again?
Just to be sure we’re on the same page – We’re talking about Reese’s mini-cups? Those luscious little peanut butter and chocolate candies? Those delicious morsels of the gods? Those things that go from wrapped to gone in less than 10 seconds?
And you expected them to last how long? Days? May I remind you that days are longer than minutes? A day is, like, a whole bunch of minutes. That equates to billions of mini-cups being reduced to little foils bullets. And you’re talking about several of those extended time periods?
I’m sorry, if I think about this any longer, blood will shoot out my nose.
Does your bedside table have a drawer??? I can pretty much rely on any candy or nuts that I put out in a bowl to be vacuumed out of that bowl pretty quickly. As payment for maintaining said bowls I stash a few Reeses, or whatever, in my night table drawer, which is off limits to the others. However, I am also allowed to eat the ones in the bowl in the living room.
Am I reading correctly that you don’t like Peanut M&Ms at all?
Reese’s? Well, silly and foolish person, hoarding and stashing are the only possible ways to ensure that you will get yours. Grab and hide immediately.
If all the candy is gone by 10am, too bad, so sad, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for the candy fairy to come back.
I suggest rationing the candy dish and hiding the stash. There’s no law against you sneaking a couple out of the stash while everyone else stares forlornly at an empty candy dish.
And just so you know, tdn, I will fight you to the death for that last Reese’s Mini-cup. Do you feel lucky, punk?
