It's a Kingergarden show, not the Symphony Orchestra, lady! (mild)

The BBQ Pit
1

Otherwise known as: I pit the psycho woman at the Elementary School Musical.

Last night, my family and I went down to the local elementary school to attend their winter holiday festival. You know the kind, a combination PTA meeting/get-together/kiddie song and dance, to let everyone have a little fun watching the tykes sing off-key or recite watered-down descriptions of Wintertime Religious Beliefs of The World™, all while dealing with a cobbled-together PA system that was probably left over from the Eisenhower years.

Anyway, after the opening ceremonies, the first act was a little sing-along from the Kingergarden students, who sang “Up on the Housetop” and “Shiny Little Candles.” Nothing too challenging – they just belted out one or two verses from each song, while making little hand gestures. One kid must’ve gotten overwhelmed by the lights or something, because he was only singing half-heartedly, didn’t make the hand gestures, and at one point had picked up a copy of the program from the ground and was reading it while on stage. Y’know, cute and humorous in a TV sitcom sorta way.

But after the Kindergardeners got offstage, I turned to my left, and saw the most steam-faced livid woman I had ever seen – she was easily fit to be fried, and I could swear I could hear her teeth grinding down to molars.

When I raised an eyebrow and asked if something was wrong, she snarled, “That was the most disgraceful thing I’ve ever seen! Why wasn’t that boy following the rest of the class? He’s completely embarassed himself and his family and the school with that display!” On and on and on, yadda yadda yadda. Not wanting to taunt the psychotic woman any further, I simply shrugged, then resumed watching the show in silence. She was still mortified by the time I left, and I can imagine her being cross-faced over the horrors of what she’d seen all night long.

Since this is the BBQ Pit, I’ll just say, geez, lady, get a grip. It’s a Kindergarden class, what were you expecting? It’s a minor miracle to get 30 or 40 five-year-olds to even do anything coordinated for more than three minutes! It’s not like you paid $500 for season tickets or anything, just let the kids have their fun and clap, willya?

Sheesh. If I wasn’t a good-natured gentleman in public, I’d be tempted to pimp-smack her for hysterical over-reacting. As it is, I pity the poor kid who has her for a role-model…

2

You might have reminded this “lady” that a lot of places are brewing decaf these days.

What a :wally

3

It was probably her kid! :smiley:

4

You may want to avoid children sporting events.

5

Wow!
My younger children had their thing last night and it was pretty good.
I think they put the kindergarteners in antlers last night just for our entertainment!
We must have a more laid back school than you.
Parents laughed and giggled, whistled and appluaded.
When my daughter came on (2nd grade) I danced and sang in the aisle along with the class to make her giggle and the rest of the class smile as well.
I’m going to guess that this would have given your lady a heart attack!

6

We attended my son’s school’s production of “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” last night. They fit every kid in by having them be in an “angel choir.” There was one kid pulling his angel costume halfway up over his face and biting it with his mouth and just generally being distracting and distracted. It totally made the show what it was, which was a charming amateur holiday pageant. I loved watching him. I would have loved it just as much if he were my own kid.

That woman needs to get a grip.

7

Kindergarten shows are the best because things don’t go according to plan.

I saw one once with a group of kids singing songs onstage (I guess that’s how they all go) and one of the kids was fooling with his tie and it came off. He made a big comical face of surprise, then started twirling it around like a lasso. A few minutes later, the music teacher beckoned him to come to the edge of the stage, and she fixed his tie for him. With that done, I guess he decided he had been released from his obligations to sing with his class, and wandered away to get a better look at the decorations. The audience was cracking up.

During another show, the singing kids were supposed to hold up sticks with glittery stars on them while they sang. When they held up their stars, one kid’s star fell off his stick! The tiny little redheaded boy held his star in his hands and stuck his lower lip out so far you could have shelved books on it. I took more pictures of him than I did of my own kid!

Re the OP: That lady must live a sad life if she can’t even laugh at a kindergarten pageant.

8

This is probably the type of parent who thinks this is what’s going to keep the kid from getting into Harvard later.

“Sorry John, but according this report on your kindergarten show, you’re just not a team player.”

9

Great, now I’m really feeling sorry for him…

10

Hey, that was my kid acting up on stage.

During his Kindy program last year, my son was off in his own world and doing his own thing, as usual. He wasn’t necessarily being obnoxious or disruptive, but it was painfully obvious that in his head he was someplace other than the program in progress. Eventually, his classroom teacher pulled him from the stage and told him him he may not be able to come to the second show later that night! :frowning: .

At first I was embarrased, but then I realized it was kindergarten and also his first time to do something such as the program. I figured he was probably nervous about the whole thing. The other mothers near me simply didn’t know what to say to me.

After the program, the music teacher talked with him about “The 7 Pillars of Character” (a school program- the pillars are kindness, respect, responsibility, citizenship, trustworthiness, fairness, and caring) and the importance of his playing his role and his responsibility to the other children to do his part, etc. She told him she wanted him to come to the second program that night because she knew he could do a very good job. I must say she handled it very well.

During the second show, he was perfectly behaved and did all his parts on cue.

What the rest of the crowd didn’t know is that he is autistic (Asperger’s) and performing in the program was very, very stressful for him.

I would have tooted on that mother.

11

Heh. Last year at my son’s holiday program (he was 4), that lady was HIS AUNT.

My SIL and her husband sat and rolled their eyes and made “quiet” comments about how excruciating the program was, then left early, ALONG WITH MY MOTHER-IN-LAW. Way to go you morons, Zack didn’t even know you were there. Which was fine with me. You know, it’s not really for you, it’s for the kids., and regardless of their age or the quality of the production, they deserve a good audience. There are no small audiences, only small audience members.

Needless to say, they didn’t get invited this year. Fuck 'em. I will be in the front row cheering when it’s their kid, but that’s just the kind of mom and aunt I am.

Too bad about this year, too- Zack is in kindergarden this year, and the program was great! Their loss.

12

She was laying this rap on a kindergartner?
Geez, and I get stressed out at work. I’d forgotten what it’s like to be under the control of these constipated school drill instructors.

13

Encore! Well said. That woman really needs to get a grip, odds are that it was no relation to her, that she just obsesses. What if she’s a teacher that child will have someday? :eek: Scary thought, but possible.

14

http://thislife.org/
Search for :
Act One. Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol. David Sedaris reads this story. A high powered theater critic applies his critical skills to the Christmas pageants at local elementary schools. (8 minutes)

Sorry, I don’t seem to be able to come up with a more direct link.

15

Hey, I remember my kindergarten Christmas show. I played some kind of winter fairy or something…

Anyway, this woman probably comes from a different time. These shows are cute now, but they when they first started, they wern’t for the amusement of parents. They were a chance to teach kids how to stand lockstop in line and do as they are told. Schools were more about churning out future factory workers than independent thinkers. It would have been a chance to show how obedient and well behaved your little angel is. Mass children’s performances are a big hit in North Korea.