City of Calgary Bylaw regarding abandoned vehicles:(PDF)
I read that to mean you can park your car for up to 72 hours anywhere it is legal to park in Calgary, but after that, you must move it or risk it being tagged as “Abandoned” and towed. Bylaws, of course, may vary by location, but the car in rockle’s post would have gotten towed here too. Maybe your bylaws would have allowed you to get it towed sooner, rockle - you’ll have to look that up for next time. 
Reminds me of a joke I once heard.
A man goes in to see a dentist for a checkup. The dentist starts poking around at his teeth, and the man cries out in pain. The dentist tells him, “Oh, that doesn’t hurt–it’s just a measuring device.” And so he resumes poking at the man’s teeth. Whereupon the man shortly cries out in pain. And again, the dentist tells him, “It’s just a measuring device; it doesn’t hurt,” and resumes prodding once more. Finally, the man in the chair has had enough. He grabs the dentist’s arm to stop him, and says, “Doctor, if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’m going to go to my truck, get my yardstick, and hit you over the head with it. But don’t worry, it won’t hurt–after all, it’s just a measuring device.”
Dearest coworker,
I know you like to have paper to scribble notes on, which is why I’ve repeatedly shown you both (a) which is the regular copy paper and (b) what printer trays you can pull paper from, if you don’t want to open a new ream. This is why I was so thrilled to hear you go, “Oh…” and turn around to see you with a brand-new ream of FUCKING CARDSTOCK busted open, which you had to pull out of a box of other unopened cardstock, all wrapped in packaging that looks nothing like anything I’ve ever shown you, nor is it IN any CABINET or PRINTER I’ve ever pointed out, rather being in A FUCKING BOX ON THE FLOOR. All you had to do was say, “Gee, SFG, could you help me find some paper to write on? I’ve forgotten where it is,” and I would happily have handed you some.
We both know you’re fucking smarter than you’ve demonstrated today. Don’t fucking do it again.
(This is a stupid question. Why don’t you have notebooks?)
OMG… No! Don’t go there! I followed pedescribe’s link and lost 45 minutes of my life!
That thread leads to a special kind of craziness. It even spawned a Pit thread! My IQ has sunk to marginally greater than my shoe size after reading that thread.
pedescribe! I’m coming to get you just as soon as my intellect rises ( which hopefully should be sometimes around next valentines day!)
On the plus side, I’ve also had fits of laughter that I hadn’t experienced in a while either.
Note to self, watch some Rickie Gervais on Youtube this weekend.
AAARGH! Today I get from the city a nastygram that a) my boyfriend’s van has been parked on lawn and not on Improved Surface, and that b) there are boxes on my porch. Both are because we’ve been cleaning. When we aren’t, we have to park a car on the street.
Today also, the doorbell rang and I got a lecture from a neighbor about parking on the street because we’re “too far out” and “I have to avoid you when I turn the corner”. It was a stern talking-to, too, not a neighborly discussion, and at the end she says “And you have all this lawn to park on!” I CAN’T PARK ON THE GODDAMNED LAWN, IT’S ILLEGAL! Bitch. Seriously, she was rude. I came to the door holding the dog back, sure, because he was barking, but she gave me attitude about that too. She’d always been nice in the past. Fuck her.
Hey, what’s my father-in-law doing at your place?
It’s actually a rather reasonable question. Normally we’d have a stash of notepads, but we were running low and there hadn’t been the chance yet to order more. Needed to wait until January because of stupid budgetary considerations (not that we didn’t have the money, but they like to have it allocated all neatly by quarter in a way that really doesn’t work with a tiny office like this one, but by god, if everyone else does it this way, so will you, even if you have only so many people there as you could count on your right hand, which makes your expenses a lot less predictable, and can you tell that this really annoys me?), and so far it’s been too effing cold to make the run down to the office supply store, but we haven’t needed enough supplies that I’d feel justified in ordering them online.
Roger. Over and out.
You suck, student loan manager. I really appreciate you being all flexible and willing to put payments into forbearance until we are on our feet again. I do not appreciate you completely forgetting to send me some paperwork to finalize such forbearance and then taking out the payment we told you we didn’t have. Now, we’re out the money you took plus another $200 in overdraw fees. Do you have any fucking idea how long it will take us to recover from this? Fuck :mad:
Drinking all of my vodka and stinking up my couch! : )
I pit frozen vegetable companies and their lying misleading asses. I am trying to be healthy, and as I don’t have time to go to the store I was thinking hey flash frozen vegetables should be good, lets get some, particularly for stir fry. Rather than buying 5 separate bags I grab the bag of “stir-fry vegetable mix” It has a picture of Red bell peppers, onions, snap peas, carrots and cauliflower. That should work well, so I bought 4 bags, thinking a quick stir-fry when I am hungry will be a good healthy move.
So I chop up some chicken breast, marinate it, throw it is the wok-like pan. Then I open up my vegies and pour in in a pile of Garbanzo beans, kidney beans with occasional speck of color from real vegies. I look at the bag, and I notice it is carefully arranged with all the good stuff on top, and the crappy filler hidden from view.
Who the fuck stir fries Garbanzo’s? Or Kidney beans? They don’t cook fast enough for that method, and end up in as Scroedinger Bean globs that are neither yummy raw, nor passably cooked through .And who pretends they are real vegetables. Now I have three and a half bags of condensed fart fuel, and a week of stir-frys that will sit like cement.
ASSHOLEMOBILE UPDATE: Got a call from the (cute) young policeman who took my report earlier in the week (and incidentally, this is one of the few good things about living in a small town – I know almost everyone). Apparently, the jerkbutt stopped paying insurance on the car, in addition to letting the registration lapse, and when they ran the paperwork, they found all this out. So while they could have towed it before for being in violation of the 96-hour-no-move ordinance, they actually yanked it because it was no longer street-legal.
Dumbass.
Or better yet, just scribble on the good side of all the failed print jobs (offices only generate about five pounds of scrap print jobs a day).
The frozen stir-fry veggie bags from Costco are pretty good, but they’ve got soybeans in them which is annoying for the same reason. I like soybeans, but they don’t work real well in stir-fry.
What is it with these chickenshit Republicans that are freaking out because Obama wants to put some terrorists on trial? eight years ago these people were declarig war on the whole world and now look at them, losing their shit.
I pit myself for not putting away stuff properly and my other sisters for not putting their stuff away too. I need to buy some more ginormous plastic totes.
I pit my mom for freaking out at me for accidentally spilling some Tabasco while i was trying to balance some posterboards and other stuff we just bought at the grocery … the poster boards cost less than a candybar, and they aren’t for any school project so leave me alone to think and chill, PLEASE.
I pit the conjunctivitis that my eight week old contracted, and the double ear infections. I guess that’s what happens when you have one kid in preschool and the other very young, but goddammit - I’ve never seen anything that disgusting come out of a kid that young, and her big brother used to ooze all kinds of nasty.
Hey holy shit, they provide vomit bags on planes for a reason WHY DID YOU HAVE TO THROW UP IN THE AISLE GOD.
Also, your fucking kid is not cute and I don’t know how you can allow her to sing Jingle Bells for 30 minutes on continuous repeat at 30,000 feet at the top of her adorable goddamned lungs. It is two weeks after Christmas. I WILL DEFENESTRATE HER I PROMISE YOU.
Awesome use of defenestrate!