It's ALL homosexual touching

The Episcopal Church has elected of Rev. V. Gene Robinson Bishop of New Hampshire. This is fabulous news. What is not is that the vote was delayed because the web site of a queer youth group he supported linked to a website that linked to a website that linked to a website that was porn. OK, that’s obviously dumb.

What’s dumber (and perhaps more serious) was the accusation that he did “inappropriate homosexual touching.” How inappropriate?


(Full article:

Ah. Now we know if someone of the same sex touches your back and arm during a conversation they are obviously doing Inappropriate Homosexual Touching.

Have we become such a touch-averse society that this can even be remotely considered to be inappropriate? My boss hugs me from time to time. Geez, should I sue her for sexual harrassment? I smooch one of my close straight male friends (for the record I’m lesbian), should he consider that Inappropriate Lesbian Touching and report me to the authorities?

For the love of Chthulu, adult authority figures won’t even come NEAR a kid anymore out of a very real fear of being accused of child molestation. You can’t give anyone an affectionate pat on the back at work because that may be misconstrued as sexual harrassment. Now gay people obviously can’t touch straight people out of a fear of being considered “inappropriate” and having it hauled out in public?

Yeah, I do know laws against these kind of things are necessary, but I feel robbed of human contact. And I do know that this type of over the top hysterial hurt whatever “valid” argument conservative Episcopalians had against appointing Rev. Robinson bishop. Still, it just seems sad as hell that it’s come to this-- afraid of touching another human being out of fear that it’s going to be misconstrued, misinterpreted or worse, used against you.

Cripes. Babies die from lack of human contact. Why are we doing this to ourselves?

I never heard or saw the word “homosexual” included. Cite?

Not those exact words, but the accusation was that he “inappropriately touched another man.” Cite:

Uh oh. I shook hands with the new woman at work today. Have I done wrong?

No. But if you are desperate to prevent a person from being ordained a bishop and he makes it past the Deputies meeting where you expected him to be cut, you have to invent something to challenge his ordination, quick.

My HR/EEOC-expert sister-in-law had to deal with a situation where a guy who was notorious for playing touchy-feely on all the young women of the company (to which his bosses responded with “That’s just Joe’s way.”) decided to scream “Harrassment!” when a guy who happened to be gay bumped his elbow as they went through a narrow hall where the copier sat.

When you’re homophobic and desperate, you’re desperate.

While different people have different personal boundaries regarding touching, this was nothing more (IMNSHO) than a homophopic character assassination attempt. I applaud the Episcopalians for seeing this for what it was and looking past the man’s sexual orientation.

Oh, I realize the subtext.

But all it was was an allegation of “inappropriate touching.” It was examined to see if there was anything sexual, or indeed inappropriate, about it. There wasn’t.

No harm, no foul. Possibly the guy who made the claim was staging a desperate and deliberately inflammatory attack on Bishop Robinson, possibly he just felt that the contact invaded his personal space and he was cranky about it. Either way, he’s moot.

**don’t ask,**I am way worse than you. I, a previously avowed straight woman, have a LESBIAN friend who HUGS me and KISSES ME ON THE CHEEK every time she greets me!!! Right in front of her girlfriend and everything!!!

I am going straight to hell. :frowning:

Oh my god, you know what? I was petting my CAT earlier! I must be into beastiality!


*It’s ALL homosexual touching *

And here I am miles away from an Episcopalian Church. Not fair.

The guy has said that he never meant the email to be publicized, nor did he plan on taking any other action other than reporting his own feelings. So while he seems pretty silly, other people decided to leak his email, and leak it WITHOUT being clear about what was being alleged.

I’m a bit frustrated by the absence of any heuristic context for the allegation; how long ago did the incident take place, and exactly when was the e-mail sent to Bishop Ely?

Different people have different personal zones. However, I mourn for a society whose members are terrified of touching each other. Grade school kids BENEFIT from having “good” teacher touches. My daughter’s kindergarten teacher (almost 20 years ago) had her class line up at the end of each half day, and the teacher would hug the kids, two by two, and release them to go home. My daughter and her friends all enjoyed this end-of-class hug, and I thought that it was a good idea, allowing the day’s session to end on a positive note for each kid.

I really don’t know what the answer is.

ABout 7 years ago, when I was in my early 30’s - a beautiful young lady who worked in the same building as myself asked me to join her for a walk. She was in her early 20’s and we were getting on quite fine at the time.

She led me upstairs, and onto the roof of a 25 story office building - and she pushed me up against a wall and proceeded to kiss me quite passionately. She even slid her hands down my trousers and played with my willy quite feverishly.

I’m a good guy, and I didn’t want any trouble in the office so I didn’t make a scene about it.

With hindsight, did the young lady do the wrong thing? Did she overstep the mark in terms of her touching?

Coz you know… I have feelings you know… she never rang… she never wrote… she never contacted me…

Wow, in hindsight I guess my high school choir warmups used to start out with a group grope session/orgy preliminaries. We used to turn to one side, give a shoulder rub to the person next to us to loosen them up, then turn the other way and do the same thing. Sometimes I’d be sitting next to the bass section, and one of my longtime choir buddies would give me a good-natured poke in the ribs. I never knew how deviant we all were!

The saddest day in choir was when our director, a fatherly guy beloved by all, had to tell us that he couldn’t give us hugs or shoulder squeezes anymore. (We’re talking a good-natured pat here and there, not full-body contact.) He was too afraid of the potential consequences. I bet they don’t do shoulder rubs as part of warmups anymore, either. Too bad; it was very relaxing, and a relaxed singer is a good singer.

Count me in as a vote for us becoming a touch averse society. I’ll even take it a step further…

Sauron is a very personable guy and when we are out in restaurants or the mall he will joke around with any kids, play peek-a-boo with babies who are crying, ask kids in restaurants while we are waiting if they have ever been there before or what is their favorite thing on the menu, etc. He never touches them or invades their space but just talks to pass the time if we are waiting.

I have warned him several times not to be so friendly to kids when we are out because it might make their parents think he is some creepy pervert.

I find it very sad that I feel that way.

This really pisses me off for two reasons:

  1. That was completely inappropriate and unprofessional. That is not proper office behavior and should not be tolerated.

  2. This kind of stuff never happens to me. :frowning:

When I lived in the burbs , the local kids used to come over and play with our cats.
I have extremely friendly cats and I have a lot of them.
I had to make it very clear to the children that, even if my garage door was up, they were forbidden to come in and get the cats out.
I didn’t want them to be out of their mom or dad’s sight-even for a second.

It is sad that we’ve become so afraid.

Aries28 -

You’re not alone. My father would love grandbabies, but since neither my sister nor I are forthcoming therewith, well, he acts a lot like you describe Sauron acting.

And my mother worries the same as you do.

Touching people is quite clearly either sexual harassment or assault, and therefore grounds for a lawsuit.

On the other hand, if you go around refusing to hug people or offer them occasional pats on the back, you are quite clearly Failing to Validate their Inner Personhood and thereby Creating a Hostile Work Environment, which of course is grounds for a lawsuit.

It’s a great catch, that Catch-22.