It's Back to School for You, Little Boy!

Tomorrow Soupo starts his school year. That will start three years of book learnin’ and it’s his third school. In the Old Town, they had one school that did the Pre-K thing , so he went there. Then they had four schools that went from Kindergarten through sixth grade, so he went to the one nearest our house. Then we moved out of the school system. Waaaay out of the school system. So he gets a new school.

This school is a bit swankier than his old one. (Or “two” if you must.) It has a Mission and a Vision.

The Mission:
To engage our students with the tools needed to become well-rounded citizens and life-long learners

The Vision:
I see a long trip and a dark stranger… no, that’s not it.

The real Vision:
Through high-performance teaming (wha?), partnering with families, community involvement, and active student participation, all members of the [name of his school] family will achieve their potential.

Is this new? Do lots of schools have Missions and Visions? I thought the Mission of a school was to teach the kids stuff and keep them off the streets for a couple of hours a day. Visions? What? We’re learning at Delphi now? T’chuh!

The upside to the Vision, the stupid kids can just coast. “I’ve achieved my potential! I’m taking a nap now!”

And do you know what? I’m a life-long learner myself. Only maybe not since I’m not dead yet. Maybe I’m a “till I’m 36” learner. Only time will tell. But anyway I learned stuff this weekend. Not big, Earth-shaking stuff, but still what do you expect? You know me pretty well after all, so you know I am a Man of Limits. What I learned this weekend is:

Ohio is the nation’s largest producer of Swiss Cheese.

I don’t know if that means we’re bigger than other states that make Swiss Cheese, or we make bigger Swiss Cheeses than everyone else or if we just make a bunch of Swiss Cheese here in the completely adequate state of Ohio. But there you go. Ohio is the largest producer of Swiss Cheese.

Did you know over one third of all the milk produced in the U.S. is used to make cheese? Oh yeah, it’s true.

It takes slightly more than a gallon of milk to make to make a pound of cheese.

The average American eats about 30 pounds (THIRTY POUNDS!) of cheese a year.

Where did I come across such a well-spring of knowledge? In a pamphlet for the Pearl Valley Cheese Co. You can get your own pamphlet in the rest area just north of Kings Island on I-71. It’s a real nice rest area too. It has a scenic lookout and everything. (The “everything” would be flush toilets, vending machines and a room chock-full of tourist pamphlets.)
-Rue.

Cheese. Ah just LOVE cheese.
Rahlly ah do.

I have some string cheese in my little cooler for my mid-morning snack. But I’d rather have Swiss cheese, whether it comes from Ohio or not - I loves me some Swiss. Especially melted over a burger and topped with mushrooms. That’s good eatin’!

Today, my baby takes her first college class! OK, technically, it’s dual enrollment, but she’s taking it at the local community college. Her high school ran out of math classes she could take, so she enrolled in College Algebra/Trig. She bought her books on Friday (actually, the county bought them since it’s dual enrollment…) - I came home to see a text, a workbook, and a CD sitting on the kitchen island. She said “This cost $100!!” I said “Welcome to the world of college books.” Can’t wait till she makes her fist semester purchase at the university. hehehehehe

And speaking of frogs, I caught one in my living room last night! I let my dog in, and I noticed too late that she had a little green tree frog on her head. She shook her head, and the frog leapt to the carpet. Now, normally, I get my daughter to catch critters that get in the house since she seems to have the touch (she caught a skink last week) But she was out with The Boy and I didn’t want this poor froggy to die in the house or get eaten by the dog.

I got in front of Froglet and as I brought my hand close, he jumped in the other direction. I reached again, and he jumped on my arm, but before I could get my hand on him (I’m assuming its sex - I didn’t look for evidence) he hopped on to the leather footstool. “Yay!” I thought. “I can carry the stool to the patio door and he’ll jump out!” Um, no, he jumped up on to the leather chair. And that’s where I got him. I felt him squirming against my palm, but I was afraid to squeeze too tight, and he started cliimbing out. So I immediately opened the door and stuck my hand out. He jumped from my hand to the door frame, and I was able to slide it closed without squishing him.

That’s when I noticed the wet in my hand. Did that frog tinkle on me? Or was he so scared, that he sweated profusely? Or was it some sort of defensive ooze? No matter - I took care of it with soap and water. And I felt mighty proud of myself for catching the froggy. My daughter will be impressed. Yeah, she will.

Happy Monday, Rue! How’s this for a hijack?

So what’s the Ohio Cheese Producers’ Association’s Mission and/or Vision. Is it something like this?

Mission: To make and sell a metric crapload of cheese.

Vision: We see ourselves making and selling a metric crapload of cheese.

I left out the stuff about high performance teaming because I don’t know what the heck that is. If it’s “quit whining and do your homework, kid” then it’s not really appropriate for cheese making.

We mostly make cheddar around here, anyway.

-Ex (striving for completeness)

That’s the other cool thing about cheese, FairyChatMom.

Cheese don’t pee on your hand.

mmmmmmmmm…cheese. I don’t know if any cheese makin’ goes on in Jawja but apparently the wine business is booming. We have these grapes called muscadines that wine business people say makes a good wine. I don’t know, I’ve never had any muscadine wine. I’ve eaten a lot of muscadines being as my parents have muscadine vines and muscadines are good. My parents never made wine with their muscadines. Mom makes muscadine jelly which is yum! We eat a lot of the muscadines and sometimes make muscadine ice cream which is also yum! You wanna know what a muscadine looks like? Well, then google it yerself.

Mission: To tell everybody muscadines are grown in Georgia.

Vision: I see you actually asking Google to search for muscadines if you want to know more.

Ex they make cheddar cheese in Albany, NY? I thought that only happened in Wisconsin.

FCM I had a dead frog in the pool. I scooped him out and one of his legs fell off so I had to go back and scoop the leg out of the pool.

I also have to scoop some wormy looking critters out of the pool from time to time. And ants. Just about everyday I have to scoop ants outta the pool. I also have lots of dragon flies right now. They don’t go all suicidal in the pool, they just fly around it a lot. I like dragon flies. I have a lizard on my back porch and a lizard in my garage. I like lizards too. They eat bugs so that helps with the bug population. Oh, and it’s lovebug season. Damn things are flying around mating everywhere. If you want to know more about love bugs, then I refer you to the muscadine mission and vision. Just substitute love bugs for muscadines.

Rue counting pre-k, this would be Soupo’s third school. Just felt like clearing that up, is all.

-swampbear ( who wants cheese and muscadines)

Ah yes, love bugs - I noticed a few when I was working in my yard this weekend. I also washed my car this weekend - just in time to get covered in love-bug leavin’s - swell.

One time when I was up at my mom’s, I was helping my sister scoop frogs out of the pool. I think I scooped 7 myself, and she got 3 or 4. They were all alive. But I found 4 dead ones in the filter basket. Ick.

I don’t like muscadine grapes - maybe the ones they grow here in NE Fl are second-rate, but the one time I tried them, I wasn’t impressed. I have no mission, and my vision is fading - time to get new glasses. And it’s almost time for my string cheese snack. Yum.

Cheese. You people and cheese. (I should be able to come up with another cartoon reference for you Screech, but I can’t.) There’s this big Life Event for my Boy and yous guys all glom onto the cheese. See if I share anymore. Unless it’s cheese-related, because I try to give you what you want. I’m just that way, a giver.

Yes Swampy, this will be Soupo’s third school. But I was talking about his old schools. There were two of them, but they were in the same school system, so you could lump them together as one old school if you count by systems or two schools if you count by physical buildings. That’s what I meant. But of course, you’re right. As far as you go.

Maybe “high performance teaming” would be “quit your whining and stir that curd” in the cheese world Ex. Not that I’d really know since I don’t make cheese myself. But it is a thought. I do that from time to time- think. It’s a curse, like my constant learning. Maybe I can cut that out when I hit 36 too.

It was just frog sweat Snickers. Frogs are just know for their copious sweating abilities. You think of frogs and the first thing you think of is sweat. Not water. You don’t associate frogs with water. Sitting in water all day, just drinking, drinking, waiting for someone to startle them of even pick them up. Nope, it was frog sweat.

I was outside a lot this weekend. My farmer tan is rather striking. My arms are as brown as a nut halfway up. Then, not so much. I tend to keep my shirt on outside. As a service to others. See? I’m a giver.
-Rue. (giving all I gots)

Ugh it is way too early in the morning for all this talk of critters and bugs. I am not nearly so brave as the esteemed Fairy Chat Mom and Swampbear are!

Ya know for some reason I always want to type Swampy-bear. Must have to do with the Pinky-bear that my daughter has. Lord knows the earth would stop spinning if Pinky-bear leaves her sight for more than 8 seconds. The calamity that comes with running the bear through the laundry is truly pitiful.

So were was I? Oh yeah bugs and critters. I am not a country mouse. I freak at just about every bug and critter that makes its way into my house or that comes into my vision anywhere.

My mission: to never see another bug or critter again.

My vision: obviously too good to achieve the above mission.

So anyway, one day in our old house these funky green flies came in through a hole in the screen in our den. They were trying to kill me I just know it! They kept buzzing me and flitting about my head. I tried to be brave and kill them myself because I was home alone but all I did was wound one. By then I was totally freaked and ran from the room and shut the door and went downstairs and called Parallax at work. I wanted him to come home and kill a bug for me. How pathetic is that? Eventually when he did come home the wounded bug had crawled out of the room and was at the top of the steps. I don’t know where his friend went. I don’t care.

Then there was the wood roach that got in and I thought it was a cockroach. I think the exterminators are still laughing at me all this time later.

I hope your frog eats all the evil bugs Fairy Chat Mom!

Oh and I hate swiss cheese but Parallax loves it. I prefer cheddar myself. The munchkin shares my dislike of swiss cheese too. She prefers american or mozzarella.

All I can say about school is I’m not ready for when it is time for the munchkin to go off to school. I hope they have good schools in Ohio because the ones around here suck. They suck so much we are considering homeschooling. They have until she gets out of kindergarten to get their act together. Our schools don’t have missions and visions… they don’t have paper and books either. :frowning:

Actually, Ohio being a big cheese-maker makes sense, in a non-hijack kinda way; there’s a large Amish community in Northeast Ohio, and my oh my do they make good cheese. I miss that wonderful Amish cheese from those contented Amish cows!

Our dogs don’t bring in frogs from our yard, but one of our dogs has found the Secret Hidden Burr Bush From Hell[supTM[/sup]. I don’t know where that bush is; we’ve hunted and hunted and hunted for it. But about once a week he comes in covered from head to toe with tiny burrs. Not really sharp ones, but being a golden retriever they really want to bury themselves in his fur. Fortunately, he loves it if we do anything to him (“Ooh, they’re pounding on me! They love me! Ooh, they’re kicking me accidentally! They love me even more!”) so he’ll sit there happily as long as I de-burrify him.

Is high-performance teaming something related to auto mechanics? Sure sounds it to me. Although that can’t be the case if we’re talking about a school; schools don’t teach anything useful or practical any more. They just teach kids that if they suck on a lemon drop they’ll get Zero Toleranced out the door for possessing something that might in some fevered administrator’s brain have borne some resemblance to an illegal drug if it were a different size, shape, and involved a different method of ingestion.

Aw, geez! One of my cheezoids was green and fuzzy! Bummer. :frowning: I noticed too late that the integrity of the plastic had been breeched. So I only had one cheese stick for my snack. It’s not enough. <sigh> It’s such a trial being me.

Oh yeah - I’m sure Soupo will have a wonderful year in first grade and he’ll be on honor roll and be elected king of first grade and have lots of hot first grade chickies checking him out. No wonder you’re excited for him, Rue!!

My last encounter with an indoor frog (WARNING: includes mild amounts of frog pee)

I wanted a drink of water in the middle of a hot summer night, so blundered downstairs to the kitchen without switching the light on, and ran the water in the (steel) sink.

Suddenly, BOINGBOINGBOINGBOINGBOINGBOING!!! I nearly wet myself with fright. Got the lights on by which time the frog had hopped out of the sink and was going berserk in the kitchen, which being cramped Japan, was also dining room and computer room - lots of lovely desks to go under. Our house was made of cardboard and OG knows what the neighbours thougt of our scuffles and thumps and moans as we tried to catch the daft thing as it hopped around. (It was only an inch long so we didn’t want to hurt it. )

Still, their worst suspicions were confirmed just a few days later. I was already regarded with unfriendliness as I was, (hisss!) a working woman. So there I am getting ready to leave the house at some ungodly hour (but the housewives are all out hanging their laundry already grrr) and reach down for my briefcase only to see a GEJIGEJI sitting on it. EEEEEK! I think they are officially hairy centipedes but they are actually disgusting super speed animated moustaches. You are just sitting there innocently reading when out of the corner of your eye, ZZZIP! You look. Nothing. Back to the book. ZZZIP! Yuk yuk yuk. So I didn’t know what to do. Briefcase is full of important stuff for the day. Mr Hokkaido is already long gone. So I sprayed that moustache till it could never ZZZIP again. I still couldn’t touch it though, so I had the bright idea of flinging the briefcase, moustache and all into the garden, in the hope that it would fall off.

Open the window, FLING! Then I stepped out to retrieve it, and stared full into the face of my horrified neighbour hanging out her wash, and stunned from seeing a big heavy bag go flying by about a foot from her face (told you Japan is crowded!) I just bowed, grabbed the weapon and left in a hurry.

Got rid of the moustache though…

I think Hokkaido Brit has won the icky bug story contest hands down. An animated moustache scurrying around. SHEESH! ICK! EEW!

tanookie of course Pinky-bear considers it calamitous. Wouldn’t you if somebody tossed you into the washing machine? Bet it traumatizes your daughter too. :smiley:

FCM if you were in France then green fuzzy cheese would be a delicacy.

Rue I’ve been thinking about Soupo’s school’s mission and vision statements. Does the school also have a value statement. If not, then they better get with it. You’re supposed to have all three these days. I suggest you head up a parent committee to investigate this. After all we can’t have Soupo in a valueless school can we? Also, ask the school about their goals and outcome measures. It’ll freak 'em out. It’ll be fun. Trust me. Heck, go after the entire school district and demand to know the mission, vision, values, goals and outcome measures of the whole district. They’ll be so glad to have such a concerned parent. Especially one who has another child coming up in a coupla years. Dare to be the parental leader.

-swampbear (creeped out by scurrying moustaches and green fuzzy cheese)

swampy, I have been to France - OK it was 20 years ago and my memory isn’t what it used to be, but I don’t recall any green fuzzy cheese. I do remember the creepy guy trying to pick me up outside the Louvre, but he was neither green nor particularly fuzzy. It was pretty cheesy of him, tho. And I don’t think he had a mustache, scurrying or otherwise.

Yeee! Scurrying Japanese mustaches! They really must be rampant. This is the second time I’ve heard of them!

My young Kristoff L’Amour joins Soupo this year on the First Grade Adventure. The big question this year was whether or not he would wear the white polo-type shirt which makes up the school uniform. He, since becoming verbal, has been adamently against the collar shirt. Nothing but t-shirts for this boy. I had to bribe him heavily to get him to wear a button down shirt for Easter! But I did begin working on him early – for for approximately the last year and a half, every couple of weeks I reminded him that, when he becomes a Big First Grader (kindergarten is exempt from uniforms at our parish school) he would have to wear the dreaded collar shirt. (Of course I didn’t call it “dreaded.” That would be counterprodutive, mothering-wise.)

At any rate, he wears the thing will relish now. (The sweet pickle kind. Not the icky kind with mustard. Ho-ho.) He admits that collars “aren’t that bad.” Little snoink! Why couldn’t this enlightenment have come over the holiday period?!

As for the girlie, I’m just grateful she’s in uniforms and beyond the reach of what I call “belly shirts.” Just TRY and find non-low-slung, belly-baring outfits for an 8-year-old girl. You heard me right. EIGHT.

-Ellen. (mean mom)

How in the world do you engage with tools? I use to be able to do “education-speak” fairly well, but this is a phrase that escapes even me! It looks to me as if they had a list of buzz words and decided they needed to use all of them (two from column A, three from column B, and one from column C).

And add my vote on the side of Cheddar Cheese, not Swiss.

Ugh Ellen, I understand completely about the belly shirts and other teenage fashion trends that have slipped into the lower age brackets.

I’m not looking forward to clothes shopping for the munchkin myself. She’s 2 and already in a 4/5 and that’s getting a little small for her already. By winter she will probably be into a 5/6! I’ve seen the clothes that are in my future and I can’t see a 3 or 4 year old kid in this stuff but it’s the only stuff that fits :frowning:

Just had to note that Fairy Chat Mom had 6666 posts when I looked at this!

Should we all be scared now?

:slight_smile:

The school doesn’t have a Value Statement as per se such Swampy. They do have Expectations though.
Our (which would be “Their”)Expectations for students and staff
Be honest with yourself and others.
Be respectful and thoughtful in your actions.
Listen to understand, and ask questions if you don’t. (Don’t listen? Maybe.)
At all times, do your best.

There’s a Extra Value statement, but that costs 69¢ more.

I had something to say about Snickers’ fuzzy green cheese, but I forget what it was. It was really funny though. You should just laugh anyway. Maybe even snork some Coke out your nose at your computer. It was that good.

One time I put on my boots and I felt something wriggling in one of them. So I took that boot off and turned it upside down. A cricket fell out and hopped away. until I mashed it with my boot that I happened to be holding. It’s wasn’t as oogy as Hokkaido’s animated moustaches, but it was oogy enough.

I think there’s something involving a Cresent wrench Kallie, but I’m not sure. I din’t ask, but if Soupo comes home with unexpected bumps and bruises, I figure he’s been engaged. Just not engaged to Ellen’s little girl. I don’t think he’s ready for a long distance relationship quite yet.
-Rue. (playing nice)