This is such an incredibly moving and eloquent post, and I am inspired by the grace with which you confront your own grief.
I don’t drink diet coke, but the other day I was in an amazing gourmet chocolate store having what I can only describe as a culinary religious experience with a piece called Intrigue, and the chocolatier remarked, ‘‘With Intrigue, who needs men?’’
I turned, looked him dead in the eye, and said, ‘‘I would not give up my man for 1,000 Intrigues.’’
If it’s some small comfort to you, he knows this. I tell him every day how awe-stricken I am by the depth of my own love for him, and how grateful I am for the depth of his own love for me. I know nothing lasts forever, and I am determined never to take for granted a single day.
I am so sorry that your time together was so unjustly brief. But you really have given all of us a gift by sharing your experience.
I joined this board after your husband had died, Brynda, but I read your story back when I was lurking, and was very saddened at RickQ’s death. I didn’t know him, but based on what you’ve said about him, he was a very good man. And I’m sorry, belatedly, for your loss.
Thank you for this post. I see no shame in wishing for an end to a loved one’s suffering, even if death is the only way that’ll happen. At the risk of sounding trite, I wish you peace.
I can only tell you the routine words–I’m so sorry for your loss.
The only other thing I can tell you is that I joined this board when I was about 14 or so. 10 years ago–hard to believe. I grew up on this board. I remember reading various posts about your relationship, although I was only a lurker. I remember your posts, too, when he died. It shook me to my core.
Your love and your loss is part of me now. The love that you and your husband had, and your loss, too, have become part of my childhood memories, and thus part of the person I am. Your story is part of my earliest experiences of joy, and of grief. I don’t know if it helps at all, but what happened to you won’t be forgotten.
Brynda, I’m certain there’s nothing I can say that will negate your loss in the tiniest part. But your thread today moved me to send a link (via email) to my hubby; he is an “honorary doper” meaning he attends DopeFests, and was the first to sign me up when the Dope went “pay to post”. But, as imperfect as both of us have been, we have been blessed enough to have had one another for almost 25 years.
So I emailed him a link along with the quote “I love you more than Diet Coke”, just to remind him that, whatever our disagreements may have been over the years, he is the best thing in my life.
I can only hope I’m the best thing in his.
Thank you for this moving and thought-inspiring post. You and Rick are in my thoughts and prayers.
I went to my spouse loss support group tonight, read my OP and some of your responses, and told them how kind and supportive y’all have been. I appreciate it more than you can possibly imagine. To know that our story touched others, and that you in turn loved someone a tiny bit more (or even just more obviously) means a great deal to me.