In another thread, Dung Beetle reminded me of the lovely holiday tune “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Syphilis.” What are your favorite holiday song parodies? I have a few I hum all winter:
• Allan Sherman’s “God Rest Ye, Jerry Mendleman”
• “We Three Kings of Orient Are (Smoking On a Rubber Cigar)”
• The lovely and haunting “Oy Vey, Maria”
• My friend Joe’s “Get a Ho, Get a Ho, Get a Ho”
Gee, I’m sure I have more, but I’m all flustered!
Silent Knight (but Deadly Knight)
Jingle bells, Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg,
Batmobile popped a wheel,
And the Joker got away!
Oh, and I love Charo’s version of “Silent Night,” where she tells us to “slip in heavenly piss.”
I’m dreaming of some green acid,
Just like the stuff I used to drop.
May your trips be merry, not meeeaaaaan,
And may all your acid…be green.
From Walt Kelly’s Pogo:
Deck Us All With Boston Charlie
Deck us all with Boston Charlie
Walla Walla Wash and Kalamazoo
Nora’s freezing on the trolley
Swaller doller cauliflower alleygaroo…
and
Good King Sauerkraut
Good King Sauerkraut did look out
On his feets uneven…
Sung as fast as possible:
Jopinglopel Boppels, Jopinglopel Boppels,
Jopinglopel opall thope wopay,
Opoh wopat fopun opit opis topoo ropide
Opin opa wopon hoporse opopwopen slopay!
Christians roasting o’er an open fire
Jack Frost ripping up your nose…
Deck the halls with chopped up bodies…
IIIII’mmm dreaming … of a whiiiiiite slaver …
Just like the one who put me heeeeere …
Deck the halls with Marijuana
Decorate the tree with LSD…
“I saw Mummy shagging Santa Claus”
" It’s Silent Night and the weather is shite"
Both by the Scruff Merchants.
My faraway fave is Weird Al’s “The Night Santa Went Crazy”.
Down in the workshop all the elves were makin’ toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
“Merry Christmas to all - now you’re all gonna die!”
Walkin’ ‘Round in Womens’ Underwear is my favorite.
Bucky, from Get Fuzzy:
“Jingle presents, beat the pheasants,
reindeer taste like spam,
kick the elf, engorge yourself,
and ambush Santa’s van, Hey!”
Well, it worked yesterday!!
The boy brought his home from school:
Dashing throught the snow
In a pair of rubber skis
Over the hills we go
Crashing into trees OW OW OW!
I’m dreaming of a white Christian,
Just like the ones we used to know
[bbbyyy, big ending:]
and may all of your Christian sons be whiiiiite.