It's Laugh At Phil Time!

I know a lot of people have been a’ hankerin’ for a reason to say, “Ha! Serves you right!” Just wanted to let you all know I broke my ankle tonight while learning how to rollerblade. It’s the first broken bone I’ve ever had, and it hurts like a sonofabitch. So, it’s vicodan and beddy-bye for me!

Nah… if someone came along and managed to successfully, thoroughly kick your ass in flame wars (which I’m sure CAN be done, just not by pretend intellectuals like myself) then I’d say “serves you right”.

Next time, just start off with a pair of plain old skates, eh?

–Christina D. Sanders–
Purveyor of Substandard Poetry
Queen of Idealism
Prisoner of Realism
Mistress of Surrealism
Hunter of new -isms
Professional Procrastinator
Suburban Savage
Jane Doe Extraordinaire

Oh jeez, Phil, sorry to hear that. It makes me shudder, remembering my one big attempt on roller blades. My niece and nephew just laughed and laughed, but the cute guy next door came over and took me by the elbow and helped me along. Still . . . .

Lousy time to have a cast, with the heat and all. Guess we’ll be seein’ more of you online? Get better fast!


Nope, not funny Phil. My hubby broke his back his first time on RollerBlades. No permanent damage done, just a fractured vertabra (which, like breaking a toe, there’s not really anything they can do for it). But it was, as I recall, vicodan and beddy-bye for him, too.

Feel better soon, you big argumentative pain in the ass!

Nah i would’nt laugh. I remember the first time on my roller blades. I almost fell several times. GO slow at it, theyre not as easy to use as regular skates (for the novice at least).

“Let me show you something
that you’ve never seen before
like a light im gonna shine on you
forever is a word i dont often get to say
but if you say it loud enough i’ll say it too”

Gee Phil, this isn’t going to make you ornery is it?

Best wishes for a quick mend!

Nah. Nothing laughable about that. You want to laugh about someone breaking a limb?

The one and only time I did so, I broke my arm.

Playing Win Lose or Draw.

Seriously! See, I had stood up on a bench to see the board, and … well, I guess you can figure out the rest… ::blush::

Anyway, long story short - No ‘Serves you Right’ here!!!

And get well soon, man.

‘They couldn’t hit an Elephant from this dist…!’

Last words of General John Sedgwick

Judgement call one of my first times on roller blades:

A) Going down the hill at a pretty high speed. I could jump into the dirt combined with large rocks or

B) I’ll be at an uncontrollable speed at the bottm of this hill. I can just wipe out on the pavement.

I chose ‘A.’ The worst injury was a big bruise on my knee (even though I had kneepads on). I think this was the better choice.

Phil broke his ankle, somebody’s husband broke his back…

You know, none of this is making me feel any better about the roller blades my brother got for my 3-year-old. (Admittedly kiddie ones, but still.)

It only reinforces my theory that he gave them to my son in order to give me a heart attack as revenge for all the years I picked on him… :wink:

Phil, well, at least you can still play your bass! Good thing it wasn’t your wrist, eh?
Hope your feeling better soon.

If Phil became ornery, how would we tell? :slight_smile:

Seriously, though - best wishes for a quick recovery.

David, I wouldn’t worry quite so much about the kid and the roller blades. It’s generally a lot easier to learn how to do it that young. My 16 year old nephew has been zipping around on them for years – he plays roller blade hockey – and it’s amazing what he can do on them. All three of my boys have them and took about thirty seconds learning how to keep their balance and move around on 'em.

We require helmet and wrist pads at all time. I encourage the knee pads, too, but won’t go ballistic the way I will if they don’t have the helmet or the wrist pads. (Wrist pads because the instinctive reaction when you fall down forward is to put out your hands to break your fall – often breaking or spraining your wrist in the process.)

They say it’s great exercise – maybe I’ll go try again tonight . . . .


Poor Phil, hope you’re feeling better soon. If it makes you feel better, a roller-blading injury is honorable – sports related, don’t you know. I bruised a ligament in my ankle a few months ago when I dropped a cutting board on it – Now THAT was stupid!


Full of 'satiable curtiosity

I’m new to the straight dope thing - And I already know that you are a pain in the ass, but I would never wish you ill - Hope you mend quickly -

The sad thing would have been if you had broken your fingers and could not have shared your “one of a kind” views with all of us -

The worst thing that can possibly happen is not be used for something by someone - Kurt Vonnegut

I was just wondering–

Considering your command of four-letter words on these boards, what kind of profanities did you scream after the accident?

Get well soon, or at least get good drugs.

Sorry Phil…only my sympathies and and a note to count your blessings…I have personal experience with how these kind of accidents can turn out…I’m glad you were fortunate & look forward to argueing with you in the near future. :wink:

“Man, the 60’s must have been real good for you!”
George Carlin…“Outrageous Fortune”

“Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore”
Dorothy…“The Wizard of Oz”

Thanks for the kind words, all. As it turns out, it’s worse than I initially was told. I have to have surgery Wednesday, to have a plate and two screws put in to reposition the bone ends. Joy.

Guy, believe it or not, nothing worse than “shit” was ever screamed. I was too much in shock to think of anything creative!

You poor baby! (Well, it always makes me feel better when somebody says that).

Good luck with the surgery - I’d say, “break a leg” but you seem to have covered that.

Damn Phil, that bites! Good luck, man!

‘They couldn’t hit an Elephant from this dist…!’

Last words of General John Sedgwick

Ditto that. I’d say that I’d say a prayer on Wednesday, but . . .


(How 'bout my positive thoughts will be with you?)