It has happened to me several times; I should know better.
Sigh.
Take one bored, depressed, fucked up, generally disenchanted Amber in Treasury. Add a hearty dose of good music of ANY genre, that really moves said Amber and makes her feel some enthusiasm and passion again. And to finish the delightful mindfuck dish off, you’ll need one talented, extremely charismatic (I recommend a heavy hand on the charisma!) male singer or musician, under whose spell our poor Amber will ultimately fall. Let gently simmer til Amber in Treasury has a pleasant, nutty flavour. And voilà - you have successfully followed the perfect recipe for a ridiculous mindfuck.
I get advances from “real” men all the time. Why do I keep falling for virtually unreachable (and sometimes long-dead) musicians?
This was just a rant.
Look at it this way- the perfect guy is still out there and you two will eventually find each other and spend your days in bliss. In the meantime, you’re falling for the unachieveable rather than wasting your time with someone who you think you’ll like at first, but will only lead to pain and heartbreak.
Let it keep happening while you bide your time for Mr. Right.
Amber
I’d love to help, but I’m a computer geek so my people skills suck.
However: what is it about the music & the musician that grabs you? It would seem it’s a hopeless infatuation sort of thing (certainly in the case of the dead ones I want to believe it’s hopeless) which won’t be leading you into any strong relationships. Do you have any experience observing happy relationships that you can search for clues? What makes them work?
You might be able to look at those guys-that-are-advancing-on-you in a new light if you knew* what you were looking for?
In the meantime, I wish you all the best. VeryCoolSpouse met a musician and we’re very happy together with 8 kids.
- Note the clever “new” vs. “knew” juxtaposition.
You should try to make your own music. It seems to me that’s what’s grabbing you, and not the musicians themselves.