Hi, gang! Last year on this date, I asked my fellow Dopers to post haikus & limericks to honor my birthday and you guys really came through. This year I ask you do do it again.
Here’s some random (and some relevant) topics to inspire you:
31st birthday
gray hairs (a new phenomenon for me)
Brokeback Mountain & Cajun food on Friday!!!
IBS
Scottish husband
dancing in panties
Curious George
pickled onions
Manchego cheese
Woodchuck Draft Cider
mentholated muscle rub
Well, there you go. That should get you on your way!
There once was a poster named Kitchen Wench
for Christmas, she wanted a socket wrench
No wrench Christmas day,
now she just wants to say
her gray hairs have all caused her her teeth to clench.
There once was a wench from the kitchen
Who spent Wednesday morning a bitchin’
Twas the day of her birth
31 years on this earth
And Kiltman had promised a switchin’!
She wiggled her panty clad buttocks
As she danced 'round the house in her red socks
The cider was brewed
She was fit to be stewed
Cause she just noticed gray in her dreadlocks.
For Kitchen Wench, a birthday wish
She’s a just-starting-to-gray dish
31 – but who’s countin’?
She plans to see Brokeback Mountain
And then dine on gumbo and crayfish!
Her first gift? A rub, and she dug it.
Next, a draft cider – she chugged it.
But sadly, she tripped,
on onions that tipped.
Her man took one in the “Mac” nuggets.
There once was a fine Kitchen Wench
Who could melt the heart of even The Grinch
A hard cider fountain
Upon Brokeback Mountain
Made panty dancing a cinch
Twas once a wench named Kitchen
Who to a Scots’ did her hitchin’.
He liked her grub
She liked his[mentholated] rub
But neither liked panty switchin’.
If you think for one minute that I am gonna write a haiku about IBS you are much mistaken!
There once was a fair Kitchen Wench
Who married a man named “McBench”
Two days 'ere the movie,
Her birthday was groovy
Except for a slight menthol stench
<— Beaming smile