and I am 26 today! So tell me a joke. 
You just crossed the line between young and old. Here’s your cane.
Congrats.
For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater…
So they gave him a sumo wrestler!
< ba dump du dum >
Happy Birthday!!
What did the mayonnaise say when I opened the refrigerator?
Shut the door, I’m dressing!
Happy birthday!!!
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
(Rolling your r’s, with heavy Italian accent…) ROBERTO !!!
Oh, and Happy Birthday to you!
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff - b’doom, tssh.
But here’s the videoto prove it’s not really a joke!
Its not your birthday.
It’s your birthday. Happy Birthday!!!11!!
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says “Why the long face?”
Okay, okay, I won’t quit my day job. :smack:
Happy Birthday!
Three Dopers die and go to heaven.
A door opens and the most hideous of women walks through and St. Peter looks at the first Doper and says “runner pat you haven’t been the best person on earth you could have been, you will now spend eternity with Esmerelda here.”
Next another door opens and the ugliest man ever seen walks through. St. Peter looks at the 2nd doper and says, “Alice the Goon you haven’t been the best person on earth you could have been, you will now spend eternity with Gerald here.”
Finally a third door opens and Megan Fox walks through. St. Peter looks at Megan and says, “Megan Fox you haven’t been the best person on earth you could have been, you will now spend eternity with Translucent Daydream here.”
What’s blackandwhiteandgreenandwhiteandblack and smells awful?
Two skunks fighting over a pickle.
Oh and you share a birthday with at least one other doper. Spazcat is the big 3-0 today.
What do you get when you throw a bomb in a French kitchen?
Linoleum blown apart
Happy Birthday! And get off my lawn, you damn kid!
If ya keep askin’ for jokes, I’m a-gonna keep postin’ this:
A North Dakotan decides to go ice fishing. He finds a good spot on the ice and starts to drill a hole. Suddenly a big booming voice rings out: “NORTH DAKOTAN! THERE ARE NO FISH DOWN THERE!!!”
The North Dakotan is surprised, but sets off to find another likely spot, and starts to drill another hole. Again, the big booming voice cries out: “NORTH DAKOTAN! THERE ARE NO FISH DOWN THERE!!!”
The North Dakotan is a little startled, but looks around for a better spot. Even before he starts to drill a hole, he hears the big booming voice: “NORTH DAKOTAN! THERE ARE NO FISH DOWN THERE!!!”
“OK”, the North Dakotan calls out. “But who are you, anyway? God?”
“NO” says the big, booming voice, “I’M THE ARENA MANAGER.”
Sorry, no joke - but here’s wishing you a good day, a good year and a great life. Happy Birthday.
What was Michael Jackson’s favorite thing about sex with twenty-six-year-olds?
There are twenty of them!
Hey, you’re exactly one day younger than me. Happy birthday! I’m liking the whole “26” thing so far; I think we rock it well. 
Roland Orzabal, my birthday was yesterday too. Happy birthday to us!
You’re 26? Just remember that there will come a day in the future when you won’t remember what it feels like to be 26. No joke.
Happy Birthday!!!
And a Happy belated Birthday to both Roland and ladyfoxfyre too!
Happy Birthday!
Here’s one: Not original, not my own, but here goes.
A blonde is sitting at the table crying when her boyfriend comes in and asks what’s the matter. She blurts out “I’m never going to get this puzzle put together. The picture on the box shows a tiger but I can’t get it.”
The boyfriend tries to console her. “Honey,” he says “there’s no way you’re going to get these pieces to look like a tiger. So why don’t we put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box and do something else, okay?”