It's my yard you fuckhead

I have two dogs. I have a fenced in back yard. My dogs like to play outside. The dogs sleep in the house, I let them out when I go to work in the morning at eight (now that we have the background information taken care of)

A condo’s parking lot backs up to my property. As I was in my yard this last weekend, one of the neighbors walks up to me. THis is an asshole whom I had met before. He proceeds to tell me what a problem my dogs are. It appears that one of the older tenants is afraid of my dogs, so he refuses to park in his spot, he proceeds to park in someone elses parking space. This causes problems.

Then the asswipe proceeds to tell me that if I don’t do something about my dogs, they will file a petition with the city to have my dogs removed for being a nuisance. Then he asked me if I was planning of putting up a stockade fence.

I told him to go fuck himself. then I told him: Fact: Australian shepperds are bred to be quiet. The only reason they bark is to protect their territory, if they feel someone is encroaching on their space. I’m not going to discourage them to not protect my house. Fact: It’s their yard too. Fact: Your condo neighbor is your problem, you deal with it. Fact: I don’t care about your problems. Fact: THe dogs have never jumped out.

Then I told him how my entire wife’s family was lawyers, and if they did anything to my dogs, I would sue his ass. I also told him that he needs to clean up his parking lot, I find it visually unsightly, and if he wanted me to put up a stockade fence, I would be glad to, but we would have to slpit the costs.

I really not usually this unpleasant.

Splitting the costs is more than reasonable.

Its not your fault some old fart has a mental conditon.

Personally, I think its great that you have a fanced yard for your babies so thay dont have to be cooped up all day - good for you!

Dogs not barking: That guy can fuck himself.

Dogs bark a little bit: This sounds annoying already. This is a close issue depending on the zoning and such. I’ve seen condos/apartments do some pretty fucked up shit to maximize space. Theorettically, they should have put up a big enough fence to deal with most things like this. Unfortunately, the cheap bastards rarely do. This is because, most of the time, people like myself have no time to sit around talking for hours with the 90 year old misers on the HOA who lived through the depression and don’t feel that the roof needs to be fixed this year or that the parking lot needs to be resurfaced this year. What the fuck do they care? They may be dead next year. Why spend the HOA dues on actually fixing the place up when they can pilfer the money and go play bingo?

(Sorry. I’m not bitter. Really.)

Dogs bark all the time: Annonymous poison dog food going over the fence.

I had some noisy ass dogs living across the street from me for a while. I couldn’t decide whether to snipe them with my 30.06 or use the poisoned dog food. That’s before the wrecking ball tore down those shitty old projects. Ha ha on them.

Next time the fucker comes over to bug you, sic your dogs on 'im.

Demo, the worthless fucks across the street (only house for half a mile, and it’s across the fucking street) had a huge German Shephard that they would put outside at night so it wouldn’t disturb them. Instead, it disturbed us. It stood under the street light (there’s four county maintained street lights between the two of our properties, for security) barking it’s asinine head off, with my window facing it. At first, I tried calling the family and asking them to bring it inside (at two, three, four, whatever, if it disturbed me, I’d disturb them). No dice. Finally, I brought my BB gun inside and loaded it with pellets. It was a 10 pump, 200 yard gun. The dog was about 50 yards away, so I’d give it five or six pumps. Bark! spack right in the leg, or chest, or chin. I got to be a damn good shot, and it soon learned every bark was met with a sharp sting. Eventually it stopped barking altogether.

Fucking dog.


You’re my hero, Homer. Good work. I never thought of that. Obviously, I wouldn’t (I don’t think…I got pretty pissed sometimes) use the 30.06. But I never thought of just getting a (wonderfully silent) bb/pellet gun, or even a wrist-rocket. Hmmm, I’ll have to file that away for future reference.

Jesus Homer - are you mental?

wait till the peta bunch read this… oh man, you are so toast.

Demo, a wrist rocket works really well. My Grandfather used to use one to keep the neighbors dogs from crapping on his lawn. Only a few weeks later and the dogs would break into a trot when they got to his property line!

kelli: Ooooh, I’m quakin in me boots!

Seriously, though. If they got a problem with it, I’ll send a huge German Shephard over to their house to bark right under their window for a few years, along with unresponsive and uncaring owners who let it poop anywhere it wants.

They’ll crack.


Before I moved to CA my neighbors had a fucking pack of six fucking dogs that would run around bark all night. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they’d come over and harass our dogs, and chase our chickens. I find a BB gun works WONDERS. I loved my BB gun.

I like dogs. It’s the people that I have problems with. I’m going to assume that you’re a good people who keeps his gods (now there’s a Freudian slip) happy and quiet.

I’ve seen people who abuse dogs that, to the best of the dogs’ knowlege, are doing their jobs, protecting master’s property, whatever.

I’ve also had to live next door to dogs that barked incessantly, all day and all night. Since I work in an business where odd shifts are frequently required, I find this objectionable.

If someone’s invading your property, hassling your dog (dogs, being generally morally superior to humans, have a right to be let alone in peace) I say, screw 'em.

If the dog, through bad training, over-indulgence by the person, whatever, is causing a problem the dog, and, quite probably the dog’s human, has to go.

I hate barking dogs too, that’s why I bought my shepperds. A little common courtesy goes a long way. They stay out all day, then when the come in in the eve, they’re so tired they sleep through the night. They don’t bark for shit’s sake, they only bark when encroached upon. The problem’s not the barking, it’s that some crazy coot is afraid of dogs, fine, switch parking spots, it’s not that hard.

I’ve trained them to bark at all my neighbors.

Those cheap fuckers are now throwing their trash into my yard, it goes right back on their cars. I’ve been planning to, and have started putting up a six foot stockade around my property, pretty expensive for a half acre, but fuck it, I don’t want to look at their sorry asses either. I’m going to wait and put up the section facing them last.


Just curious, how do you know how much your dogs bark when you aren’t there?

If your dogs indeed bark at all of your neighbors, do that all day long, and you are not around to tell them to be quiet, that sounds pretty annoying to me. Just because your neighbors are assholes, …

BTW, I really love dogs. I used to leave my old dog out all day while Mrs. D and I worked. The old retired guy 2 dors down mentioned, didn’t exactly complain but mentioned, that Bowser barked quite a bit during the day. My immediate reaction was, “Fuck the old goat. Who cares if the dog barks during the middle of the day. He should just be lucky he isn’t working.” Over time I questionned whether this was the most desirable attitude on my part.
Now, I usually don’t leave Daisy out when I am not around because she’s such a sweetheart, I’m a little worried someone might steal her. Fortunately, Mrs. D now stays home, and lets Daisy in and out throughout the day.

I really like those Austrailian shepherds. The ones I have known have been unusually quiet. One down the street – I don’t think I’ve ever heard him make a sound. What colors are yours?

Gee, do the big tough guys also shoot crying babies and screaming toddlers with pellet guns? Or maybe poison their lunch? Or are they only tough enough to shoot at things that aren’t in a position to defend themselves, or have parents to defend them?

Heaven help the person that I ever see abuse, or attempt to abuse, one of my pets.

I watch them on the weekends, they don’t bark, unless someone walks up to the fence. They play with each other and ignore the rest of the world.

Like I said, shepperds are bred to be quiet, they don’t stand there and bark for no reason, even when somebody just walks down the street.

mine are brown.


Wouldn’t it be easier and cheaper all the way around (as opposed to building a fence, filing charges, etc.) if they just had this old man swap parking spaces with someone else in the complex? It seems the asshole’s not complaining about your dogs BEHAVIOR towards anyone, rather the man’s response to (and fear of) your dogs. If the man is going to park elsewhere in the complex, why not just give him a new permanent spot and put a dog loving tenant in his old space? Guess that solution would be too simple for this guy…and he wouldn’t get to be pissy with you.

Unless the neighbor is the president of the condo’s tenant association, I doubt he has the authority to speak or deal or demand on behalf of the complex. If he bugs you again, IMHO, tell him to have them contact or contact the tenant association yourself with the above suggestion referencing this dipwad’s hostility and threats. Sweeten up the letter or conversation with talk of being a good, reasonable neighbor and responsible dog owner. Suggest you wouldn’t wanting someone with a canine phobia suffering needlessly while reminding them your dogs need to do their biz outside and get their exercise. Its easier and more reasonable for them to move one space than for you to restrict your dogs to inside the house. If that fails, suggest they build a fence or that you split the cost for a fence between your property and theirs.

Interesting that many people turned this thread completely around to the exact opposite of Ponch’s problem.

Hope I helped, Ponch.

Well, Phil, I didn’t know you back when six HUGE dogs would run around MY yard, scaring MY animals, chasing MY chickens, and threatening MY property. If I had, I’m sure you would have offered a better solution. However, you weren’t. And after those fucking dogs killed MY cats and MY chickens, I had every right to scare them off of my fucking property.
But if I’m ever in the same situation, I’ll be more than happy to remember how perfect you are, and I’ll try to do what you would do. I’ll happily sit back and watch my pets be slaughtered, or I won’t complain when I have to forgo sleeping because their pack of wild dogs decide they need to bark and chase deer through the back yard.
Call them and complain? No, we tried that. They were CERTAIN their dogs were sleeping and it was OUR dogs wreaking havoc. (Interesting possibility, especially since three dogs lived in kennals and three dogs slept in the house.)
Call the humane society? Or animal control? Well, we couldn’t prove abuse, and besides, they were liscensed. (Didn’t know what that had to do with anything)

Again, I’m truly sorry that we might have offended and angered you in anyway Phil. But if I had to choose between the death of my animals, or shooting a dog with a bb gun, I’m going to have to go with the bb gun.

With all due apologies to Peta (great suggestion, BTW), I repeat, Ponch, how do you know how much your dogs bark when you aren’t there? You explained their barking habits during the weekend when you are home.

They stay outside, I can see them, I can hear them trough the window. I can see where they play, they have a big yard, they do not hang out in the very back, but when someone walks over to their car, they run to see who is approaching. They don’t bark at the friendly neighbors, but bark at those who yell at them…How do I know this, I can see through my window. The rest of the time, they are busy tearing up my flower beds.

The barking is not the problem, the problem is the resident, who is afraid of dogs, messing up the parking situation for them. The problem is his way of approaching me with his problem. The problem is his lack of reasoning and intelligence.

“Gee, do the big tough guys also shoot crying babies and screaming toddlers with pellet guns?”

—Mmmm, that’s going to be my cheer-up mental image for the day.

I love dogs. But my white-trash downstairs neighbors have two dogs—a Rottweiler and a Pit Bull—and I don’t mind their occasional barking. What I DO mind is that they (the dogs, not the neighbors) have easily jumped over the fence and gone after people. They’ve bitten two people and came after me once (I was smart enough to make friends with them when they first moved in, so all they did was lick me).

I don’t know WHY the cops haven’t done something about this yet. I’d be happy to have the neighbors euthanized, and keep the dogs living there.