Please can I add my good wishes that everything goes well for you.
Having recently lost both parents, I know how valuable it is to have support both for the patient and the family.
Previous posters have mentioned support groups - excellent!
Both your brother and family will benefit from meeting others in their situation. You can get sympathetic understanding and learn more (fear of the unknown is strong).
You know, I’ve said before that I don’t like tattoos, but I’ve got to admit, this is one of the neatest ideas and best of reasons to get one that I’ve ever seen. I’m slightly tearful right now.
I wish your brother and all your family the best.
Marley, a suggestion that was very, very helpful with my daughter when she had major surgery and was on a vent afterwards – talk to your brother beforehand about the fact that he won’t be able to talk when he’s intubated. My daughter woke up and was a bit freaked that she couldn’t speak, but because we’d discussed it beforehand, I reminded her that it was because of the tube, and it helped her calm right down. Information is very helpful pre-surgery no matter how young the patient is.
You and your brother and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers!
I hadn’t thought about that. Tyler has been informed of everything during this entire process, so he probably knows already. But I’ll see that it gets discussed if it needs to.
When we were in 12th grade, a friend’s father was diagnosed with “a brain tumor” (no idea what kind it was). We all figured it was a death sentence; it definitely was one for his daughter’s career, whose dream of going to law school got dashed right there. She was the first person in her family to graduate from primary education and the first to graduate from high school. She finished high school while helping care for him, drove her parents to the hospital, kept the house more or less clean and everybody fed (her elder brother is quite useless, her mother was completely centered on the husband, almost not leaving his side). The whole thing lasted a couple years and several operations; the father got retired on permanent disability (standard procedure in Spain for anybody who’s disabling-sick longer than two years) but he’s fine.
I’m 38 now, so it’s been 21 years since his initial diagnose. Medicine has advanced a lot in those years and it sounds like you got the best team possible… still, good luck and know you’ll be in our prayers (I have a whole convent of nuns who prays for my family and “for anybody Nava is praying for right now”).
Marley, thinking about you today. Wishing you guys the best.
Don’t even know what to say. Think I’ll just cry instead. My heart goes out to you, your family, and your incredibly strong brother.
Thanks very much to everybody, again. Tyler should be in surgery right now; I was told they’d start around 9 a.m. and go for anywhere from 4 to 7 hours, so I expect to hear from my family later in the afternoon.
We had a nice dinner at John’s Pizzeria last night - the four of us (our middle brother stayed home) plus my girlfriend and one other friend who wanted to see Tyler before the operation. This is a great pizza place, by the way, and it used to be a church, so it was a good setting for what Tyler called his ‘last dinner.’ I’m not sure when we’ll actually get to see him next - if we can visit today, between operations, or if we have to wait for Friday or Saturday. Incidentally, I heard from my father that if all goes well, they will try some kind of comparatively minor surgery to restore his voice - all, some, I don’t know. He’s due to have a month of radiation therapy at Boston Childrens 6 to 8 weeks after the surgeries or hospital stay ends. I informed Tyler he needs to be back from that by May, because I bought us tickets to see Derek Trucks.
After dinner, we retired to the hotel my parents are staying in and tossed the football around while watching Chappelle’s Show and Deal or No Deal. It was hard to get a few moments alone with Tyler as I was leaving, because my father insisted on walking me out, but I did have just enough time to deliver my parting words (“You have to walk this next part of your path by yourself, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be alone,”) and show him the tattoo. He might have been a little too surprised by the tattoo to get the impact of my explanation, but oh well. [The last thing he said to me, via text message this morning, was “were you high when you got the tattoo?” I said no, gave him a tennis update, and told him I love him.]
We had a long hug and parted with an Arrested Development quote about not knowing when to stop a hug, which was only fair since we’d been quoting the show all through dinner. On the way to the cab, I mentioned to my dad that we’ve been waiting for this for a long time, and it’s been a hard wait, but now we’re here in one piece.
“Now it really begins,” he said.
That’s what I call an incentive!
Thanks for the update – you know that the Doper Good Vibe Machine ™ continues to chug away at full throttle for Tyler, you, and all your family.
crosses fingers
~Tasha
Thinking of you and Tyler and your family today and tomorrow.
He will be (most likely) kept if not in a “coma”, then highly sedated. He will be limp and helpless, unable to talk or move his limbs. (again, I know nothing of brain surgery-but I do have experience caring for post-op, intubated and sedated patients). He will be able to hear (if he is sedated)–and he will be able to recognize your voices. I suggest that whoever sits with him, talk to him–not questions, but about the weather, the trivial family news, the sports scores, your tattoo etc. It can be quite comforting.
The nurses will be making sure he is kept stable (in terms of temperature, heart rate, BP and breathing), warm, clean and dry, that his mouth is kept moist and clean, that his arms and leg joints are kept supple. They will be turning him (or the bed itself will do it) every 2 hours to prevent bedsores, help the lungs clear mucus (which can lead to pnuemonia) and even help his vital signs stay stable. He most likely will have an endotracheal tube (or a tracheostomy-not sure about the surgeries he’s having), a naso-gastric tube (unless he is fed be IV), a central line (could be peripheral–in an arm, but maybe not), a Foley catheter to drain his bladder and perhaps some drains for his head. He might have bruises or red marks or even marker lines written on parts of his head and neck.
Whynot is right-he might not look like Tyler.
I hope I did the right thing in telling you what to expect.
Also, this may sound morbid or creepy, but you might want to take a few pictures (ask your parents)–Tyler may want to see what he looked like right after surgery. Just a thought.
I think your Dad is a wise man–it IS just beginning, and there are many unknowns. I wish the best for you all.
Let us know, Marley. Much love from a stranger coming to your family today. 
I’m glad I checked this thread today… I wish I could light a candle here at work, but I think we have rules against that. Consider a metaphorical candle lit, though.
Edit to add that I love the tattoo and what it symbolizes.
Yeah- he’s got some awesome gifts waiting for him. The dTb agreed to sign a shirt or poster and mail it to me, and the Allman Brothers band is going to autograph his bass soon, or maybe in March.
I was expecting a medically-induced coma, although I haven’t been given any official word about which is which. I did advise my other brother about what he may look like post-surgery - I intend to tell my parents, but last night at dinner obviously wasn’t the time. 
I don’t know what the deal is with visiting, but I’ll sit and talk with him if that’s necessary.
I can, so I lit two. One for me, and one for you!
I’ll be thinking of you and your family.
And I think you should draw a matching tattoo on Tyler while he’s out and when he wakes up, tell him its real. Everyone needs a little post-surgical comic relief…
Candles are lit in the Surly household and healing thoughts are coming your way.
Adding my best wishes that all goes well!
Satch
My very best wishes to you and your entire family.
Me, too. Hope all goes well and that he makes a rapid and complete recovery!
I think it was a nice idea to get that tattoo. I hope that your brother’s surgery went smoothly.