Not a “warning” but a dumb sign:
I was in a restaurant that had smoking/nonsmoking sections. As I walked into the Men’s bathroom I saw a sign:
Thank You For Not Smoking in the Rest Room
Men were shitting in there!!! How much worse would it be if someone smoked a cig?!?
The best warning I ever saw was an English-language Japanese warning on a big kitchen knive in a blister pack. It said: Warning: Do not leave in children."
The funniest one I’ve personally encountered was “Don’t take illegal drugs.” It was printed on the splash guard in a restaurant urinal. I could see guys walking out of the bathroom and telling their buddies, “I am quitting drugs from now on just so I can say I did because a urinal splash guard told me to.”
Maybe they were afraid of the combined gases igniting? WHOOOOOOOOOSH!
A warning on my son’s Xmas present, a scooter (Razor):
WARNING: THIS PRODUCT MOVES WHEN USED
A scooter! Do they have these warnings now on bicycles and skates as well?
The very same thing appears in the manual for my mixing console.
Keep in mind the thing is 6 foot wide, 4 foot deep and weighs about 70 pounds.
No matter what you imagine or “common sense” tells you, coffee at home (or anywhere else) is not 180-190 F in your cup. At that temperature, it will burn your mouth painfully. It would be medically contraindicated for me to suggest that you put your money where your mouth is… you might actually try it. Just measure the coffee in your cup with a thermometer, instead of guessing
At the 190F you claim is normal (vs. the 170F they typically served, or the 150-160F or other chains) we’d have been seeing a LOT more injuries --moth injuries and facial scalds from steam, and you might be railing that “common sense” says that no one should serve foods under conditions that are NEVER safe.
The keratinized stratified epithelium of the thigh that was seriously burned in these cases is more resistant to heat than oral mucosa. Molten pizza cheese that is safe to touch with your finger, will still burn your mouth after 15 min in a thin cardboard box.
Heh heh.
BTW, sorry Larry. I like your definition better anyway. 
On any bottle of sleeping pills: “WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.”
Well I certainly hope so!
A Michigan lawsuit abuse watch group, has gotten around to awarding 2004’s Wacky Warning Labels
First Prize: “Do not use for personal hygiene” - On A Toilet Brush
2nd Prize: “This product moves when used” - On A kid’s scooter
3rd Prize: “Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally” - Which is not only self-explanitory, but down home common sense.
The $250 submission prize in the above ABC NEws link coulda been yours