It's official: I'm afraid of dogs.

[Swallowed_My_Cellphone]

@Contrapuntal

So her comment about vicious dogs was pointless?

I thought it was just additional information for comparative purposes. She would send her kids outside, even though disliking children is probably not rooted in fear. A guest who doesn’t like children probably just doesn’t like children, someone who doesn’t like to be in the presence of dogs may actually fear the animal to some degree.

Either way, as a show of good faith in general, a part of hospitality is making minor concessions so guests feel comfortable. That may mean closing a window because it’s chilly, turning the music down, or putting my dog in the yard. Certainly nothing there is unreasonable or a deal-breaker.

I sure as hell wouldn’t say “Sorry, dog was here first, so suffer.” The dog probably really doesn’t care if he’s in the house or gets a fresh bone to chew in the yard.

[Contrapuntal]

@Swallowed_My_Cellphone

I thought it was just additional information for comparative purposes.

Then why did you focus only on PappSett’s response to that, and not the rest of his post?

She would send her kids outside, even though disliking children is probably not rooted in fear. A guest who doesn’t like children probably just doesn’t like children, someone who doesn’t like to be in the presence of dogs may actually fear the animal to some degree.

And would never be in PappSett’s house. As he has said over and over. It’s **eleanorigby **who is missing the point.

Either way, as a show of good faith in general, a part of hospitality is making minor concessions so guests feel comfortable. That may mean closing a window because it’s chilly, turning the music down, or putting my dog in the yard. Certainly nothing there is unreasonable or a deal-breaker.

Maybe. Maybe not. Again, for the umpteenth time, said guest has already been notified that There Will Be Dogs. It’s kind of an asshole move to complain after the fact that you aren’t comfortable around them.

I sure as hell wouldn’t say “Sorry, dog was here first, so suffer.” The dog probably really doesn’t care if he’s in the house or gets a fresh bone to chew in the yard.

There you have the crux of it. You deny the social aspect of a dog’s personality, dog lovers embrace it. Dogs want to be with their pack.

[NajaNivea]

@Swallowed My Cellphone

eleanorrigby was saying that as a display of courtesy to a guest, she would send her own children out to play in the yard. She could say: “Sorry. You don’t like kids so you’re not welcome here.” But no, she is far more gracious than that.

Civilized society and a little give and take etc. The point is she was surprised by the lack of hospitality.

But wait a minute… what she has done is arranged things so that her children would not bother her guests. I said the same–for various reasons I can’t just throw my dog out into the yard unattended for however long this person wants to visit. I also can’t and won’t lock the dog in a separate room for similar reasons to why you wouldn’t lock a toddler in a room and leave them unattended.

Assuming I make all efforts to ensure that the dog never comes into contact with the unexpected, phobic guest or foists his unwanted attentions upon them, that he stays quiet and out of the way, how is this demonstrating a lack of hospitality?

If your children were too young to throw them out of the house for a whole afternoon or evening unattended, and someone with a real distaste for or fear of children showed up unannounced, would you still do your best to see that your children were quiet and occupied and did not bother anyone who doesn’t like children? Would that be “inhospitable”? Or would you need to lock your child out of the house or in a bedroom to be sufficiently accommodating?

[PapSett]

@Contrapuntal

Then why did you focus only on PappSett’s response to that, and not the rest of his post?
And would never be in PappSett’s house. As he has said over and over. It’s **eleanorigby **who is missing the point.

Maybe. Maybe not. Again, for the umpteenth time, said guest has already been notified that There Will Be Dogs. It’s kind of an asshole move to complain after the fact that you aren’t comfortable around them.

There you have the crux of it. You deny the social aspect of a dog’s personality, dog lovers embrace it. Dogs want to be with their pack.

Again… I thank you for your suppost. I am not strange, I am not inhospitable. I just know my dogs treat me better than 9/10ths of the people I meet, and they ARE my priority.

Oh… by the way… PapSett is a “she”.

[Contrapuntal]

@PapSett

Oh… by the way… PapSett is a “she”.

Oops!

[Kalhoun]

@Contrapuntal

Then why did you focus only on PappSett’s response to that, and not the rest of his post?
And would never be in PappSett’s house. As he has said over and over. It’s **eleanorigby **who is missing the point.

Maybe. Maybe not. Again, for the umpteenth time, said guest has already been notified that There Will Be Dogs. It’s kind of an asshole move to complain after the fact that you aren’t comfortable around them.

There you have the crux of it. You deny the social aspect of a dog’s personality, dog lovers embrace it. Dogs want to be with their pack.

I like dogs. A lot. But sometimes a particular dog will be a problem. It happens. The fact that PapSett thinks her dogs couldn’t possibly cause anxiety doesn’t mean they can’t. I just don’t like the “no exceptions” approach. If someone is uncomfortable around your dog, regardless of what you might think of your dog, the less weird response is to put the human beings at ease for a short time.

[Contrapuntal]

@Kalhoun

I like dogs. A lot. But sometimes a particular dog will be a problem. It happens. The fact that PapSett thinks her dogs couldn’t possibly cause anxiety doesn’t mean they can’t.

I don’t recall her saying that. Can you point it out?

I just don’t like the “no exceptions” approach. If someone is uncomfortable around your dog, regardless of what you might think of your dog, the less weird response is to put the human beings at ease for a short time.

I don’t mean to be snarky, but this is getting tedious. In PappSett’s house, the odds against someone being uncomfortable around her dogs are astronomical, for at least two reasons. To wit, all of her visitors are dog people. All of her visitors have been notified that There Will Be Dogs. I know this sounds weird to you, but there it is.

Both **Pappsett **and I have stated several times that dogs misbehaving in public will not be tolerated. But in our houses, dogs being dogs is the rule. Anyone who comes over knows this in advance. If (the indefinite) you have been duly apprised and then complain about being uncomfortable then I really don’t know what to think. Were you lying when you said you don’t mind dogs? Did you forget that you were afraid of them? Are you just fucking with me? At any rate, you really might as well just leave. I have no interest in entertaining you further.

[NajaNivea]

@Kalhoun

That’s quite a bit different from “fuck that, hit the road”. You are willing to accommodate a visitor for a short period of time. PapSett isn’t. Under any circumstances.

@Kalhoun

I like dogs. A lot. But sometimes a particular dog will be a problem. It happens. The fact that PapSett thinks her dogs couldn’t possibly cause anxiety doesn’t mean they can’t. I just don’t like the “no exceptions” approach. If someone is uncomfortable around your dog, regardless of what you might think of your dog, the less weird response is to put the human beings at ease for a short time.

What PapSett has described is more or less exactly what I expect of my dog, and sounds pretty reasonable, to me:

@PapSett

They say hi and then normally go lay down, unless said visitor encourages interaction.

[Gary_Robson]

@PapSett

YOU are just being a jerk

[moderating]
This is getting too hostile for MPSIMS and I was going to toss the thread in the Pit, but the OP asked me to close it instead. That’ll be all.
[/moderating]