The situation. Me, watching my Charger team look like a big sack of excrement against the Falcons. Near the end of the game- we give up a first down which allows the Falcons to seal it.
Me: F**k
25 MO: Fk… Fk… Fk Fk F**k
Me: Noooooo… don’t say that!
25 MO: Fk hahahahahahaha fk
Wife: Well, I hope you’re happy. I’ve been telling you for two years to stop that.
Yep, nothing funnier than hearing “Oh, Damn it!” from the car seat, using the exact same intonation and emphasis her father does…
Hilarious.
I’ve also had to stop giving her “coffee” in the morning, because it looks really bad to have a two year old begging for their coffee.
You guys got to swear when they were babies? My parents learned that bringing baby to an inner-city restaurant on a regular basis (they were managers, and when both called in during the wee hours would put me out back in a playpen) means your seven-month-old’s first word isn’t repeatable in polite company.
Mrs. Magill and I learned this lesson the hard way when Fang was 20 Months.
We were living in Atlanta, and she was driving Fang to daycare when another driver did a typical Atlanta Driver move. Suddenly, from the back seat she heard “Dit! Dit! Dit!”
Naturally as a caring husband, I gloated… for a week. I was picking him up from daycare when another driver showed everyone why driving in Atlanta sucks, and from the backseat, I hear “Uck! Uck! Uck!”
Here’s a tip…when your child swears, don’t make a big deal about it, but offer up a silly phrase as a substitute. My son was having a grand old time with, “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” until the day I started saying, “Oh, for the love of peanut butter and jelly!” and “Oh, fudge stripes!” The kids think it’s hilarious, and they try to think up newer and sillier phrases. Also, it reduces the chance that they’ll continue to swear just to get a reaction out of you.
My baby brother (some baby, he’s gonna be 16 this month!) when he was around 2 took to saying “Damp it.” What was really amusing was that he was saying it at ‘appropriate’ times such as when he dropped something.
Being ex-Navy, I still use a lot of colorful metaphors in my everyday speech. IMO, being in the military sort of removes the stigma ordinarily attached to curse words, as they slowly become used more often than not.
When my son was a toddler, we went to a place that specialized in Yakatori. He was given some toys to play with in his high chair, and he promptly started hitting folks in the head with them. He got cranky after I removed the rest of his arsenal, thus saving myself from a law suit.
Since being cranky involved not eating anything, he decided that the peeled orange shaped like a flower served at the end of the meal would serve as both food and ammunition.
After I pried his cold little fingers from around the fruit, he started dropping the loudest F-bombs in history.
“F*********CK!!”
“F*********CK!!”
“F*********CK!!”
The ex said “Well, what are you going to do?”
“Easy, my Dear. Leave a big tip and pretend I never saw either one of you before!”
You are lucky it lasted that long. We had to watch it just after our son was a year old. He was a major talker, and parrot. Now he thinks it is hilarious to say, things like “Fart, poop, and weener”. Such a boy!
Now we use swears like “Cinders and Ashes” from Thomas the Train. And I say stuff like, “My Word!” a lot.
He has picked up all that crazy stuff, and added some weird phrases of his own(Goodness Gracious!). So now our five year old sounds like he grew up in the 30s or something.
25 months? You’re lucky it took that long. My baby girl had just turned one, and she stood up and bonked her head on the coffee table. She let loose with the F-bomb… in front of our whole family. Everybody started laughing.
Reminds me of our friend who believed that she shouldn’t be asked to adjust her language around children. She believed that she should be able to cuss whenever she wanted and that we should just explain to our (then 2 or 3 or 4 year old) children that those are adult words and they aren’t allowed to say them. HAHAHAHA. It was easier to avoid our “friend” than it was to get a cussing child to stop.
Years later, it was a laugh riot, watching her little kids run around the room shouting “fuckity fuck fuck” at everything. The kids seemed to think it was hilarious too.
Your boy and my boy sound a lot alike! Mine told me the other night that he had “boiler ache”. Goodness Gracious gets a lot of play here. Also, Holy Moly was a big one for a while.
In the interest of full disclosure, when he was saying, “Oh for fuck’s sake” a lot, his older sister turned to me and said, “Did you hear that?! He said that word I always hear you say!”
I used to on the phone with the general public a lot, and I trained myself to used a lot of "Jiminy Christmas!’ Or sometimes, just “Christmas!” That gets lots of use around the house.
Of course, one of my co-workers told me she liked having me around the office, because I always made it sound so festive.
My mom once told me that when she was pregnant with me (her first), she started replacing curse words with “Rats!” so that she’d be used to them by the time I was old enough to pay attention. She said her coworkers thought it was pretty funny to hear her yell, “Rats!” when she got really mad.
And just because this is proof that I am a slow learner…
last night while watching jeopardy- when one of the contestants got a Daily Double- I jokingly yelled “Double it!” (which is a common and stupid inside joke between the wife and I)
2 YO- Dum it! (an attempt at double it)
Me: hahaa… did you hear that, sounded like he said Damn it!
2 YO- (much more clearly) Damn it! Damn it! haha
Me: son of a…
Wife: Why don’t you just teach them all to him now?
<sigh>
Ok- I’m going to have to come up with some sort of nonsense or words that sounds goofy when shouted out. “Yahtzee!” I can’t do soundalikes (Ship or Shipwreck) or things like Whiskey Tango Foxtrot- because the words are still in there. I need to expel them completely.
My work is a little like a naval boat. In fact, we have an SOP that even deals strictly with swearing, and doesn’t at all disallow it. (Short bursts of venting are allowed. Which is applied somewhat liberally) So this is going to be difficult.
