My fingernails are sweating.
Your turn.
(Wisconsin, I think it’s about 100 degrees right now)
… I’m staying late at work because we have air conditioning…
I’m so hot that…
I’ve got nothing. It’s chilly and overcast here with a high of 77. 
Off to find some wood to knock.
Could you go outside and flap your arms towards the US midwest?
At work we HAD to buy air conditioners because the temperature exceeded Union rules.
Last weekend, it was so hot *(how hot was it?) *
It was so hot that propane wouldn’t come out of the tank so I could light the grill. I had to cool the tank by running the garden hose over it for a few minutes.
It’s so hot that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and they were both walking.
Thank you Johnny Carson, circa 1977.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
Heh! Good-old-Johnny
It’s so hot that yo mama had to go to Sea World to get baptized! Oh wait.
Funny! It me awhile to get it.
It’s so hot that Baskin Robbins is selling 31 flavors of cream!
It’s so hot that in crossing the street I had to wade through the asphalt.
It’s so hot that the Sahara called to laugh at me.
It’s so hot that my teacup has condensation on it.
It’s so hot that on the way home from the supermarket, dinner had cooked itself.
It’s so hot that my running shoes were leaving skid marks. Walking.
It’s so hot that even my perspiration is sweating.
It’s so hot I threw a live chicken up into the air and the Colonel begged me for my recipe.
It’s so hot I stopped making sense about a week ago.
This is Canada’s fault isn’t it?
Yes. We stole all of your cool air. How else do you think that we could make it only 40 degrees up here?
It is so hot that I think the cats have set up a shanty town in the vegetable drawer of the refrigerator.
It is so hot, we left the oven door open to cool the kitchen.
Ha! This is true: It’s so hot that my mother’s house – currently empty because she’s on vacation – with the A/C set on 87 degrees last night was cooler than it was outside.
That doesn’t sound quite so funny as Johnny, but it amazed me last night when I went to turn it back down to normal for her return today.
It’s so hot the jackrabbits in our pasture are wearing canteens.
It’s so hot we steamed bratwursts for dinner last night – in the horse tank.
It’s so hot, the only thing the field mice took from our kitchen are the little umbrellas my wife puts in her margaritas.
(And this one’s no joke) It’s so hot the barrel cactus in my wife’s rock garden died.