Ooohhh, duuude . . .
“Oh my God. I’m blind. I cannot see.”
“Who the hell is Niblick?!”
“Where was the pork?” “You can’t! There’s Jews here!”
Yes, I do use these IRL occasionally. Usually way out of context.
/ falsetto / You’ll have to come back later! I’m doing the dishes! / falsetto /
Fuck her. Fuck her blue.
Though, this one is only used in very selected circumstances.
To my daughters when they are babbling excitedly about their latest favorite sci-fi show:
“But ladies…you’re nerds.” From Revenge of the Nerds, of course.
We also get a lot of mileage out of “I have a bad feeling about this.” And because their dad is a rather impatient driver, and we have a lot of deer in our area: “Look, kids, a deer!” (NL’s Christmas Vacation).
“A wretched hive of scum and villainy.”
I haven’t used this one yet, but I’m going to start.
I’m mad as hell and I;m not going to take it anymore!! (Just watched Network)
" I got a pool and a pond. A pond’d be good for you, Carl. " From Caddyshack, the mother lode of movie quotes. I use it sparingly, but when someone asks if that pool got finished, etc… I get to toss it in. Always amusing. Mostly.
" Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a tremendous slouch. " If someone were to use " Hey I’m no slouch ! ". Again, Caddyshack.
" It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again. " From Silence Of The Lambs. Has to be with a crowd that can see the macabre humor in the use of it, since it’s a horrific cinematic moment. I’ve used it to great effect when a friend or relative uses Chapstik. 
" What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is goin’ on around here ??? " Blazing Saddles. Always good for a laugh, used when I return to a scene and things have become F-'d up in my absence. Also, with sure-fire success, used AT A.B.C. WHILE shooting Wide World of Sports. Which I did for the last 4 years of its existence. Cracked Robin Roberts up when we’d pass that line.
Triple or quadruple (lost count) on “Wretched hive of scum and villainy” except we employ it every grocery shopping day, subbing “douchebaggery” for “villainy.”
Another fave not mentioned so far. From Trading Places:
Seedy police station waiting room dude: Is that your purse?
Penelope: cringes
SPSWRD: That’s a nice purse.
May be used whenever you notice anybody’s new anything. For best effect, must be growled like seedy police station waiting room dude.
ANYTHING from the “Airplane” movies.
Our house is full of MASH fans, and we’ve been known to quote MASH lines back and forth for FAR too long. Our favorite episode is when it was beastly hot, Charles had to be the accountant for the family finances because of an IRS audit, BJ was worried about his house back in SF, and Hotlips had prickly heat.
Some oldie-but-goodie lines:
“It’s 2 o’clock in the morning. What the Hell do you want?” Tommy Lee Jones as Doolittle Lynn in “Coal Miner’s Daughter.”
“220, 221, whatever it takes.” Michael Keaton in “Mr Mom.”
~VOW
we don’t have any choice!!!
They use it all the time. When me and my GF are in the theater or watching TV we always give each other a poke and laugh hysterically. They use it in everything. It is in the teaser for Star Trek’s “The Menagerie”. One of our friend’s wife is always saying it:
“No choice, Kenney!” Whenever we hear it we laugh and say “No choice, Kenny!”. But we don’t always say it that much IRL, because we are wise enough to know there is always a choice.
Should we do a seperate thread for TV show quotes? I ask, because something reminded me that during lulls in conversation I’ve been known to say “So I said to him, ‘Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we got here. And as for your Grandma, she shouldn’t have mouthed off like that’”
And as for movies, I forgot, “You fool! You’re already dead, you just don’t know it yet.”
- Simpsons, Homer the Vigilante
- Fist of the North Star (1986)
You’ve reminded me that my life presents a surprising number of opportunities for me to say “I’ll give you a quarter if you’ll just stop talking.” from the same movie.
From this one I’m partial to "That is a HELL of a thing for you to say to me
I don’t pick up the mouse but I do do the voice.
Most often I just go with Rocky’s “Again?!?”
When someone says something that seems completely out of the blue, or I need to change the subject I’ll say " Ya know, I don’t think Bonanza’s and accurate depiction of the West." (from Tin Men)
“I’ll buy that for a dollar!” - Robocop
Whenever I’m asked what I’m doing on the computer:
“Chatting online with babes all day” - Napoleon Dynamite
When I want some of whatever my boyfriend is eating:
“Give me some of your tots” - Napoleon Dynamite
The square root of 3 poem from Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. We went to see this movie on our first date so sometimes instead of saying “I love you”, we’ll say “You’re my root 3”. Cheesy, I know. 
Also at random times “O’Doyle rules!” - Billy Madison
When I’m at LAX, not only have I been known to say “Listen, Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again,” but I’ve heard other people say it.
He bolted out of nowhere!
Ha !! I’m one of them. I used to call in to say I landed safely by waiting until I was at the curb and then calling, starting the conversation with " The White Zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only. "
From 1776:
(Whatever we want to occur will happen) …in the not too distant (Whap!) future.
John Hancock is saying that he hopes that General Washington will have better war news at that point. The “whap!” (which we always include) refers to Hancock swatting a fly.