I would like it known for the record that I cannot stand and absolutely despise the Red and White Christmas stockings. Like these. Incase you live under a rock I hate them all, equally and venomously.
God, those things are UGLY and lack any personality, charm or heritage.
It just screams: Made in China and I Have No Depth. and * I give up.* and *I am a TOOL! * Verily, a jackpot of tooldom!
If you yes, you. hang one for the jolly fat man, you are a splinter and I smite you! ::::::::::::::::::::gives the evil eye:::::::::::::::::::
I don’t feel better, but lighting those damn things on fire in the center aisle of Megamart would probably be bad.
I don’t like them because they remind me of my food pantry days, when I had less than $20 to spend on Christmas for my kid. You can get those cheap ass stockings at the Dollar store, so that’s what we had. Our tree decorations (got the tree as a hand-me-down) were two packs of dollar store bows, the kind with gold twist ties around the middle, and two boxes of plastic gold balls, also dollar store. It was pretty, but depressing for me. I’d always enjoyed our hodge-podge of handmade and family heirloom ornaments back home. We still have those bows, actually. I tried to get rid of them one year, but it turns out they’re my son’s favorite “ornaments”.
When I got back on my feet, we upgraded to needlepointed pretty-pretty stockings.
Wifey asked me to help her decorate over the weekend. I put my foot down - not until after Thanksgiving, whereupon she pointed out every neighbor who already had decorations out.
I responded I really didn’t give a shit what the other neighbors did. It’s time to enjoy Thanksgiving and let that holiday run its course before we get all caught up in the month of Consember .
Yeah, they look cheap, but I assume for some people that’s all they can afford. There’s a market for them, right?
My early X-mas pittings:
The Barenaked Ladies Christmas CD, which I just bought, is terrible – the boys are just phoning it in for most of it. I wish I had my 15 bucks back.
And I hate those Best Buy commercials that are All About The Presents, especially the one where the husband tells his wife “you can open that Best Buy package as soon as we get home from visiting Grandma!” so they just pull up in front of Grandma’s house, where she’s waiting on the porch, holler “Hi, Grandma!” and take off again to rush home and open presents. Yeah, that’s the spirit of the season, right there.
Ooh, and seeing THespos’s on preview: Shit-fire, why on earth were there Eleventy-bazillion people at the mall this weekend?? The season starts next weekend, okay? Before Thanksgiving, I should be able to pick up my saline solution at Target without parking in the next county and festively standing in line for 45 minutes. Don’t you people have homes?
Yesterday, my sister and I went to Wal-Mart. When we were leaving the checkout, the cashier said, “Have a happy holiday, when it gets here.” I thought the way she said it was funny, like she was being forced to say it by management and she thought it was stupid to say almost a week early. Anway, my sister said, “wow, she must really love Christmas.”
Me: Why?
Sister: Because she’s already wishing us a happy holiday.
Me: Hey douchebag - she’s talking about Thanksgiving.
Sister: Thanksgiving?
Me: Yeah, that holiday we’re celebrating on Thursday. The one your kids keep asking about. Turkey. Cranberry sauce (from a can!), stuffing. Football. That holiday.
Sister: :smack: Oh yeah.
Me: fucking idiot.
I am really torn between sleeping in on Black Friday or going out at 6am (I’m up anyways) and being amused by the entire jackals on a carcass mentality.
(There is a floor lamp at Joann’s on sale that I do really want, but I just might buy it now with a 40% coupon and save myself the extra 10% hassle of it being 50% off on Friday.)
Indeed. It’s time to stay home and avoid retail outlets at all costs.
CostCo was fucking intolerable two weekends ago. Throngs of people standing around getting stupider as they clogged the aisles, wondering whether a 15-lb. box of chocolate truffles would make an appropriate gift for Aunt Gertrude.
I haven’t been able to locate it on CostCo’s website, but there’s this thing I’ll call “The Aberration” for lack of a better term. It’s THREE pre-lit fake Christmas trees hooked up to a speaker. Press a button and the thing puts on a light show befitting Laser Floyd at the planetarium, while a band that sounds an awful lot like Evanescence thrashes out holiday tunes that will absolutely drive your neighbors batshit.
Somebody on my block is bound to get this. I’ve already decided that if and when that happens, I’m tying The Aberration to the bumper of my truck with a tow chain and dragging it down the street until friction turns it into a smoking lump of carbon.
One of the classic rock radio stations here has already gone to an “all Christmas music 24/7” format. I hate most Christmas music. I am not particuarly fond of Christmas (it makes me miss my mother) and now I get over two months of it instead of just one. Fuck the idiots who made this decison with a dried up Douglas fir.
Happily, I am working on Black Friday so I can’t give in to the temptation to hit the maul.
I was at the mall yesterday, and really appreciated the signs Nordstrom had posted that basically said they would NOT decorate for Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
Every year I grow more and more fonder of shopping via the Internet. This way I don’t have to brave the teeming masses slogging through the aisles, carts loaded down with tons of shit, while all the time restraining my need to run several of them through with a sharpened candy cane.
We had Thanksgiving on October 6th. There’s nothing preventing the slide into madness here.
Yesterday I went downtown and was wondering why the subway was so crowded. Yep. Santa Claus Parade. I looked at it for ten minutes or so, then left early in an effort to avoid the crowds going home. No such luck.
I’m not a football fan, but I have to say- yay, Steelers game! Mr. Neville and I went shopping yesterday, and things weren’t any worse than normal (might even have been less busy than normal), because there was a Steelers game. I don’t like or understand football, but I’m starting to love the Steelers for playing and keeping the crowds away when I want to shop.
The closer Hanukkah falls to Christmas, the more the presents I buy have a theme of “Things I Can Buy Online”…
I have a choice between shopping on Black Friday, or going to see my little sister’s cheerleading competition. I’d rather be beaten than either of those.
Oh god, never again with the Black Friday shopping. Neither my gf nor I had ever been shopping on Black Friday, and we heard that outlets near her parents’ place were opening at midnight. Hey, sez we, people won’t show up until the sun actually comes out. Let’s go get us some deals. 6 hours later, we saw the sun come out. And we still went back that weekend, when hey, guess what-- the same damn sales were going on in every store, yet didn’t have the “far from the maddening” crowd stampeding around the area (only a lesser, “somewhat distand from the annoying” crowd). God, at least we didn’t see anyone with wailing toddlers, though in the maelstrom, we probably wouldn’t have noticed.
Why?
