It's time to stop planning and start doing!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I mentioned this in the MMP, but I think it merits wider discussion.

I’m >< this close to turning 68. My husband just turned 65. I retired in 2011, then worked a series of part time, temp, and finally full time jobs till re-retiring in 2019. Spousal unit dissolved his business at the end of 2020 and has been doing bits and pieces of consulting work since, but he’s pretty much ready to throw in the towel.

Our conversations have returned to the plans of our early days together - spending our retirement on a boat. We sold our last sailboat just before my first retirement, but lately, we’ve been looking at trawlers, since neither of us wants to deal with the rigors of sailing. it’s time for turn the key and go.

So what’s the big problem? It’s me.

For the almost 38 years of our marriage, I’ve managed our finances, and in the last dozen years or so, we’ve gotten completely out of debt except for the mortgage, which we refinanced and a very nice low rate. We’ve built up nice savings, plus our financial guy has helped us build our assorted 401k rollovers into a very nice chunk of change. Add our house into the mix, and we’re millionaires - who knew??

We were able to pay for our granddaughter’s tuition to the local Montessori pre-school, and we’ll do the same for our almost-ready-to-be-born grandson. We truly don’t have to worry about living comfortably in retirement. And yet, I’m in a marginal panic about touching any of our savings or investments. What’s up with that?? Well, I think I know what it is - I have to change my decades-old mindset, and that’s not easy.

These are the days we saved for and planned for. If we’re lucky, we’ll have 10-15 relatively active years ahead. We won’t need a lot once we take to our rockers, so now is the time to use what we saved and invested, right? It’s logical and sensible, right? We’ve got an emergency cushion, so we won’t be a burden to our daughter. We’ve set up a fund for the grandkids’ education. What more do we need to do?

This whole paradigm shift is making my head wanna asplode!

Anyone else dealt with/dealing with this? How do you make the change? My very sanity depends on finding a way to deal…

2

I hear you FairyChatMom. I’m sorry I don’t have any real answers. but I really get this -

My Wife and I are both 60. Lived in the same house for 30 years since we where married. The only house I have bought. I’ve put a lot of time, blood and money into this place, and it’s gonna be hard to leave. But we don’t feel we can take the climate we are in when we are in our 70’s. Typical winter is 25-30 feet of snow. It can be rough.

We are trying to figure out where to go in 5-10 years. It may be, of all places, North Carolina. My Wife’s best friend just relocated there. It will depend a bit on other family members I suppose, but we are DINKS so can pretty much go where ever we want.

I guess the way we are thinking about this is that we are eliminating what we don’t want.

3

My wife and I did the same thing except instead of a boat, we bought a travel trailer. The first part was getting a vehicle capable of towing a trailer, we did that just before I retired last year. This past spring we started looking around at trailers. The first thing we found was the market was hot and there were no real deals out there. We ended up buying a lightly used trailer from a private seller. With the truck, trailer and all the stuff that goes with having a trailer, we have about $75,000 invested. In reality, it was money we maybe shouldn’t have spent but sitting in my chair in a campground, throwing peanuts at squirrels and watching the world go by made it all well worth it.

4

I am a bit younger than the OP, but I have had a couple of experiences with family that relate, somewhat. My uncle died about 2 years ago in his early 90s. He said before he died he never planned to live that long. Meaning, his financial plan was for him dying at 80. Who knew he’d last that long! Fortunately, he did live fairly well past his plan date, thanks to other circumstances. My father had a decent amount to live on in his last years. He said he was making arrangements such that my brother and I would do OK after he was gone. I encouraged him to spend and enjoy during his twilight years, and not to save anything for us - I basically told him to die broke. Unfortunately, he died earlier than what was in his plan and there was leftover, much to everyone’s regret.

I do not think you will regret touching the dream, but you if you keep putting it off, you might. It sounds like you have the bases covered, so now’s the time to spend and enjoy.

5

Here’s what triggered all this: Yesterday we found the boat.

We took the first step this morning. Our preliminary examination convinced us it’s a really nice vessel in really good shape. It’s the size I wanted (spousal unit wanted something a lot bigger, but he was properly impressed with this one. So this morning, we talked to the broker and submitted a bid, contingent on a satisfactory sea trial and a good marine survey (inspection.) My intellectual brain knows it’s a good deal and something the whole family will enjoy. My emotional gut is saying “What the hell are you thinking? That’s a lot of money!!!”

Deep cleansing breaths…

My mantra has to become “This is what we’ve been saving for…” We’ll see if I can chill a bit as the deal progresses.

6

Hey FairyChatMom - Curiosity would love to see a link of the boat. Or a link to a new one of the more or less same you are getting.

I’m not a sailor myself (done it a few times) but there are sailing trawlers. Boats are a lot of work of course, combining two power sources more so. I thought it would be interesting. I guess if your engine goes, you at least have something. Or in the right conditions, the wind could help.

7

If you can afford it, and it sounds like you can, I say do it!
If it doesn’t work out, in a few years, or your circumstances change, you can sell the boat and do something else.

Good luck, and post pictures.

8

This is the one we’re hoping to get. And the pictures are an accurate representation. We’ve looked at a few where the photos were obviously of the boat some years back, hence deceptive. But this is a very good listing.

9

I think you missed the link. And by the way, I love the “I’m nice, dammit!” On your handle.

10

The link works for me - I’ll do it this way then: 1986 Grand Banks 36 Classic - DiMillo's Yacht Sales

11

I am not a financial advisor. You are in the fortunate position of having only a mortgage. No other notable debt, including, I presume, credit card debt. Keep it that way. As an aside, I would recommend paying down your mortgage. For no other reason than the pleasure you will get knowing your home cannot be taken away by foreclosure.

I think you are doing exactly the right thing. As you said, “These are the days we saved for and planned for.” You are correct. I’m in the same situation, with somewhat more frugality required. My favorite meal of the day is breakfast. Ten years ago I was comfortable going out for breakfast once a month. Now, at age 67, it’s twice a week. (At $20 a pop.) That’s my retirement extravagance. I agree with your philosophy: I worked and saved my entire life for a comfortable retirement. I decided twice a week is right. Unlike you and your husband, my financial resources don’t allow for a expediture like your boat. But I did have the resources for a $7,000 replacement outbuilding roof this year. It’s called planning, and you two have done it in spades. Be proud.

I would take note of snowthx’s comment, i.e., how long you expect to live. You indicated 10-15 “relatively active years.” Which means you will have plenty of time to enjoy that boat. You have the right idea. I have a brother-in-law, age 67 like me, who feels compelled to construct a detached garage next to his house. Why? He has lived without it for 35 years. His answer is “so Laurie and I don’t have to scrape frost off the window during winter.” Huh? He should have done it 35 years ago. No. It’s way too late for a garage. It’s not too late for your boat.

FairyChatMom, dammit! You should do this boat thing. If it doesn’t work out, Bumbazine offered the obvious solution.

Finally, this comment: “We’ve set up a fund for the grandkids’ education. What more do we need to do?” My reaction to this was “Why did you feel a need to do it?” It’s a generous thing to do of course, but it’s also a potentially huge financial obligation. As you said, you two have the resources – now. Will you have them when college rolls around? I would suggest setting up the fund and providing an initial contribution. That should suffice for your involvement.

12

In one of my post-retirement jobs, I amassed a small 401k. I had our financial guy roll it into a less conservative investment for the kids’ education. It’s important to us both that they be able to further their education without taking on debt.

And we just got an email from the broker - our offer was accepted! So we send them some earnest money and schedule the survey. FCD already went by the marina to reserve a slip, so once we close, we’ll give them a deposit to hold it till spring. It has begun…

13

:partying_face::tada::confetti_ball: :motor_boat: FCBoat!! :motor_boat: Whee! :motor_boat: :confetti_ball::tada::partying_face:

14

Ah, retirement, I’m 17 years and a sleep-in until that day.

Congarats on the wessel!

15

Yeah! Let us know when the boat-warming (or whatever y’all call it) is happening!

16

Things are moving. The survey and sea trial are set for Nov 23. We just did the wire transfer of the deposit. Barring the surveyor finding something scary, we should be boat owners before the year is out.

I don’t expect we’ll move it to our marina till April. It’ll stay “on the hard” at the broker’s till then.

17

I’ve been retired for five years, and have never missed a minute of sleeping about money. I discovered after I retired that the secret is not how much you have, but how much money your money generates. If you have enough to live on with pensions, Social Security, and investment income, you can laugh at the market.
And good for you for getting a boat when you can still enjoy it. Especially with the market high - the money you spend today might go away next year. We splurged on new cars and putting in air conditioning (thanks, global warming) and paying off the rest of the mortgage.

18

It’s bizarre inside my head. I literally keep reminding myself “This is what we saved for.” But seeing the funds for the deposit wired from our account to the broker was unnerving. I never stressed like this over home purchases or other boat purchases, but we were employed then. It feels so different now.

Yeah, I’m slightly nuts. And oh, it’s not helped by the impending birth of our grandson - our daughter is being admitted on Sunday and they’ll induce labor on Monday, unless it happens on its own before then. So, yeah, a little stress here. :flushed:

19

@FairyChatMom, I totally suck at financial planning, but I’m a former sailor and boat owner so I just wanted to chime in and say that that is a magnificent looking serious boat, congratulations! I agree with the others who felt that this was the right thing to do. I’d do the same but alas, money is needed for housing and living and there’s just not enough for everything I’d like to be able to do.

Back in my boating days – and those of many of my friends – we were mostly into cruising sailboats in the 26 to 35 foot range, but I always regarded trawlers as an eminently practical option and at one time even considered getting one myself, though I’ve always been a sailing type at heart. But you get a lot more space and practicality in a trawler. It would have been a great cruising vessel for my favoured cruising area of Georgian Bay (especially the northern parts) and the North Channel.

I think you made a great choice in terms of lifestyle – I’m not familiar with this specific vessel but you seem to have done all your homework. I wish you many years of happy cruising.

ETA: A snapshot I took at a little bay where we anchored for the night – in the northern part of Georgian Bay, don’t remember the exact location, but all of it is equally gorgeous:

20

What a beautiful anchorage!! I’d love to wake to that. Hope we’ll find similar spots in our travels.