** What ways do we have to repel an alien invasion?
Discrimination**
We don’t serve none of you pointy-headed aliens here. You gotta use the drive-through.
** How to respond to an inappropriate question?
Did your family have an ice pick when you were little? Kept in a junk drawer in the kitchen?**
Well, we used to have one there, till one day Paw went berserk after Dallas lost in overtime and the coonhound peed in his bowling ball, and…hey! None of yer business!!!
** NYC cabbie stabbed for being Muslim
How Dare They Not Prosecute Tom Delay?**
He’s got to be responsible somehow.
Hey! Feel like shattering someone else’s dreams? Then critique my writing, please.
Thank you, Concerned Citizen. DIAF.
Well, you did ask…
Parents, tell me your “Time-Out” methods, please.
Going to Paris in a month.
I think (s)he was referring to the kids.
This One’s for The Obama Loyalists, Pay Attention.
Help me demonstrate that Sarah Palin is worthy of being President
Uhm, why would they want to do that? 
Drop side cribs
The expanding Universe!
Aha! If I move this panel down, my universe expands to infinity!
Now to plan my takeover. Aha! Haha! Hahahahahahahahaha!
I’m gay and I just wanked to my first straight porn movie (NSFW and I imagine TMI)
A Special Manly MMP
They’ve been reading our mail here at SDMB
Swedes, I have a question
If mankind lost the Bible, could we reproduce it?
Ya, shoor. But it be written in runes.
Death of “The Guy”
I pit modern electronics
Too difficult to repair? Or he got electrocuted? :eek:
** Do you think my dog would protect my family in an emergency?
They’ve been reading our mail here at SDMB**
Aha, that explains the drool marks.
India police say 848 tonnes of explosives are missing
Last Words
And with that, the police station exploded. On the plus side, this opened up a few new jobs.
Just came in to post this one, but with:
“Ya better say yer prayers, ya flea-bitten varmint! I’ma gonna blow you to smithereenees!”
I Want To Marry A Lighthouse Keeper…
My Son Is Deserting Me. And That’s A Good Thing.
He’s upset that you won’t be depending on him anymore to avoid running aground.
What makes a house smell clean?
Catching a serial shitter
Yeah, that would help.
** Mosquitos
Pregnancy Itch **
**How Dare They Not Prosecute Tom Delay?
Corruption **
Asked and answered.
Help Me Demonstrate Sarah Palin Is a Moron
Whack-a-Mole did something really stupid
Sorry, we’re not buying guilt-by-association here.
** Is the Heat Death of the Universe necessarily permanent?
If the sun stoped shining **
The heat death wouldn’t be permanent or even possible.
Womanly smells
I am being driven insane
Damn, if I could only bottle that I’d make a fortune.
**One more for the Stupid Injuries File
How do you smuggle a live tiger onto a plane?
Are people (as a group) actually stupid? **
That’s a reasonable conclusion about the Live Tiger Smugglers.
** Are people (as a group) actually stupid?
Everybody sing!**
March, dropouts, backward march
Ain’t we a tragedy
Leave us unite and fight, fight, fight
For good ol’ stupidity!