"I've got an X and I'm not afraid to use it"

[Aspidistra]

Who said that first? And what was X? (I’m thinking ‘gun’)

[penultima_thule]

1. Og

2. Rock

[Sage_Rat]

Probably not the first, but to get the ball rolling:

Bazooka - 1998

[mbh]

Certainly not the first, but earlier than Bazooka:

Flesh Gordon (1974) “I’ve got the Power Pasties, and I know how to use them!”

[Isamu]

Another variation, although not the original you’re looking for:

We’ve Got a Fuzzbox and We’re Gonna Use It - 1985

We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use It

[Chimera]

God.
A Universe.
The beginning of Time and Space.

“I have a Universe, and I’m not afraid to use it!”

[Tom_Scud]

Here’s a linguistics mailing list reply that traces the phrase (in slightly modified form) as far back as a 1903 newspaper account - and from the way it’s used in these accounts, I’d suspect it was in common usage before that:

WELL DONE, SHERIFF WHITLOCK.
Chicago Daily Tribune (1872-1963). Chicago, Ill.: Jul 27, 1903. p. 6 (1 page):
A Danville mob is quite as dangerous as a Belleville one, but it ran up against a determined sheriff who had a riot gun and who was not afraid to use it.

LAWYER RAVES IN CELL.; FEDERAL ATTORNEY BECOMES VIOLENT AND ATTACKS MAN.
Attacks Man in Street. Threatens a Policeman.
Chicago Daily Tribune (1872-1963). Chicago, Ill.: Feb 24, 1905. p. 2 (1 page):
“‘You don’t look good to me,’ he said, and caught me one under the jaw. 'Look out, ’ I says; ‘I’ve got a gun here, and I’m not afraid to use it on you, either.’”

[choie]

It was Gimli, surely? He actually had several of them, but he wasn’t the sort to brag.

[kath94]

[total hijack]

Reading the title, I couldn’t help but think about my 8-year-old (at the time) nephew quoting a line from “Kung Pow Enter the Fist:”

“If you’ve got an ass, I’ll kick it.”

[/end of hijack]

Carry on.

[Aspidistra]

@Tom_Scud

Here’s a linguistics mailing list reply that traces the phrase (in slightly modified form) as far back as a 1903 newspaper account - and from the way it’s used in these accounts, I’d suspect it was in common usage before that:

Ooh, that’s a good one.

I suspect, from the above, that there probably isn’t a defining original film / work of literature that contains the phrase, it just sort of seeped into popular consciousness through people using it in real life.

Which I guess isn’t so surprising when you think about it.

[Serenata67]

I know it’s not the first, but the best one I’ve ever heard was from one of my coworkers at the restaurant I worked at. We were picking on her a bit and she came up with “I’ve got a bad singing voice and I’m not afraid to use it!” then proceeded to sing Celine Dion.