Okay, Monty NOW you can get pissed.
UnuMondo, that site was a DAVID ICKE LINK! (go to index page). Good GOD, are you fucking serious?
Asshat.
Other than that, I agree with CrazyCatLady. For the love of god, just fucking calm down!
Why is it that so many people (including me) find the whole Mormon wedding thing to be nutty? Its not just that its different from what I know. I don’t think its nutty that Hindus give each other marigold wreaths.
And before I get flamed…I’m here admitting that I don’t understand why the hell I think this – I know its not logical. I’m just trying to open my mind a little, thx.
Damn.
To all the LDS folks who I’ve offended, I apologize. I’ve got nothing against Mormons, though my feelings towards the church aren’t too affectionate, considering what they did to my aunt. No, I didn’t understand – if I’d understood, then why would I have pitted this?
Also, I know this is part of Tony and his bride’s religion; that this is their choice, but that doesn’t stop it from hurting. A reception may be important, but to those of us in my family who are (a) starving college students, (b) raising a young family, or © elderly and living on a fixed income (and this includes nearly everybody) the thought of spending hundreds of dollars to fly to Utah for a reception is somewhat overwhelming.
Once again, my apologies are extended to any whom I may have injured with my angry remarks.
.:Nichol:.
Wow, I haven’t had to defend a religion that I don’t even follow or agree with (I am agnostic/atheist) more than I have had to the last few weeks right here on this board.
You may be interesting in knowing that (1) you must be a member of the LDS church to participate in a Temple marriage and (2) obtain a Temple recommend from your LDS bishop.
UnuMondo - I didn’t think it possible, but every time you open your mouth (keyboard) you show yourself to be an even bigger fucktard than before.
Guin - WTF?
To the OP - The marriage ceremony isn’t for the family, it is for the couple. A temple marriage is much more than your typical wedding ceremony in the eyes of devout members.
Every Mormon that I know who has been married in the temple has had a second ceremony/reception for non-church members or members who don’t hold a temple recommend.
It is JMHO, but I think your family members who are refusing to attend the “garden party” are acting like spoiled brats.
Diane, what do you mean? (Not being nasty, but what part didn’t you understand, so I can explain).
The link UnuMondo gave us. This is the front page:
http://relfrauds.www4.50megs.com/
It’s a David Icke archive. David Icke…well, oh man, where do I start? Basically, he’s a loon. He believes that the world is run by the British Royal Family, which is actually a secret species of shape-shifting lizard people. He’s REALLY wacked. He’s a Holocaust denier, a racist, a conspiracy nut, etc etc
If they had a ceremony you could attend, this would be different how? AFAIK, plane ticket prices don’t depend on reason for flying unless you have a family death (is this still true BTW?).
FYI, the ceremony is a highly sacred ceremony for the couple, it is the party/ring ceremony/reception afterwards that friends and family gather for dancing, food, etc. For the life of me, I would much rather attend the party than a boring temple ceremony.
Someone asked earlier and I may have missed your response, but would your feelings be any different if they eloped to Vegas and then held a reception for friends and family afterwards?
The marriage ceremony may be for the couple, but their exchange of vows links two families. By not considering how things may make other family members feel, they are being somewhat insensitive. To classify the family members who feel left out and upset as ‘spoiled brats’ is a bit harsh, IMHO. This situation isn’t going to help bring the families together at all and refusal to address the fact that part of the families feels left out is selfish of the couple to be.
Yes. What makes you think I don’t know this? As I said, I was engaged to a mormon man. He was in good standing with his church. His parents were in good standing with their church. Apparently, I potentially could have been in good standing with their church.
None of this changes the fact that a non-Mormon person would probably find many parts of the temple ceremony odd, and potentially not understand the religious significance of them.
Guin, I was just wondering what you (and I see CrazyCatLady too) saw in Monty that I was missing. I thought he was rather reserved from his usual self 
and that he answered the OP rather well.
Cal - The reason you were able to be a best man in an LDS wedding is that it was not a Temple wedding. LDS (or any other religion) can marry in an LDS church building with the bishop officiating. As I said before, only church members who obtain Temple Recommends are allowed inside. The only time other people are allowed in, is soon after a temple is built and before it is dedicated.
Shit, even I, the godless heathen was married by an LDS bishop. I was hung over, the groom (now ex) was coming down from frying on acid, the best man and one of the attendants belong to the Sundowners motorcycle gang (I swear to Jebus), and most of the people who came to our reception looked like they belonged to either a biker club, Grateful Dead groupies, or just walked out of Sunday School - that’s Utah for ya!
I was best man for a LDS wedding. No I did not attend the temple cermony. What they did was after the temple cermony they held a civil cermony that everyone got to attend and then did the reception.
Everyone groused about not being able to go to temple. It does seem a little rude and people feel like the LDS is saying ‘UNCLEAN, UNCLEAN’. But get over it and go.
It would be different because we’d be part of the ceremony; we’d get to see them take their vows, see the bride walk down the aisle, participate in an incredibly important day. We’d be part of what was going on, there to lend our support and love to the groom, instead of just some strangers who show up for a few hours to eat all their food.
Actually, another of my cousins did this several years ago – his father, who had recently become very religious, refused to attend the wedding if they were going to serve alcohol (the fact that he didn’t have to imbibe any of the alcohol didn’t matter, he just didn’t want his son to be serving it). My cousin and his bride opted to run off to Vegas with some of his Army buddies and get hitched on the weekend so they could have alcohol. When they got back, they decided to go through with the ceremony they’d been planning, so we all attended a wedding anyway. The funniest thing was that his father ended up attending, and the only picture we have of him at that wedding is of him sitting at a table, a cigar in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Go figure.
.:Nichol:.
Alice I am not being snarky, really, I am just interested in why his mother was planning a Temple marriage. Are you LDS? Were you going to convert?
Maybe I am just too unconcerned about pleasing everyone, but if I were the bride and groom I would say this:
"It is our wedding and it is what we have chosen.
It is important to us.
Don’t like it? Don’t come.
We’ll have a wonderful time without you.
Bu bye, now."
Diane: Yes, I know this, as should be perfectly plain from my post. I was suggesting that I saw no reason why there could not be a separate ceremony for those without recommends, as someone else suggested above.
Lets see - In order:
Snarkyness - no worries.
Mother planning a temple wedding - she had her heart set on her eldest son being married in the temple
LDS - Nope.
Convert - I had considered it.
Thing is - I was young and unfamiliar with the LDS church. I assumed they were the same as Baptists, or Catholics, or Anglicans - basically, the conversion would involve some studying, perhaps a confirmation, and blammo, you go back to whatever it was you did before. (Assuming you wern’t doing anything horrifically sacriligious before, which I wasn’t).
Obviously, Mormonism is a tad more involved than that.
Anyhow - I didn’t convert. I didn’t marry him. Now all I can say is that the temple ceremony that non-LDS person really wouldn’t get.
I think some people are missing the point - they are complaining about not being included in the religious ceremony when THEY’RE NOT PART OF THE RELIGION.
The OP has been invited to celebrate the marriage at the reception - I don’t understand why people think guests have the right or privilage to intrude on the personal wedding stuff, which is what the temple ceremony is.
Ooops, you are right, it was perfectly clear. I need more coffee. 
Try looking at it from the viewpoint of someone who IS LDS and was married in the temple or plans to be. To them, the temple ceremony is a very sacred, very special occassion. Please understand I mean this in the nicest of ways, but most LDS who go to a wedding but not to the sealing understand and appreciate the sanctity of the temple, and the sacred ceremony for the bride and groom. You do come across as a little “It’s unfair you have your sacred ritual and I can see it!” LDS temples are very precious to it’s members, and they hold the temple to be high in the hearts as a very holy and sacred place, and the ceremonies performed therein aren’t something to be shown off for the world to see.
Of course that had already been said, but it has been about a year since I last posted and I’m about to leave on a mission, so I wanted to say that.
Nichols:
Apology accepted. I still differ with you, obviously, on our viewpoints as to the marriage and who may or may not be included in it; however, that’s just a difference of viewpoint. You might be interested in knowing this: My nephew is getting married in a couple of months–he’s not LDS and he and his fiancee are having the ceremony way out in the boondocks. I mean way out. Many of the people who’ve been invited just can’t make it for logistical or time considerations. The thing is, everyone in the family understands that it’s very important to them to have their ceremony where they’ve decided.
Also, feel free to vent. But, please, consider how the comment is going to be seen before you give vent. Crazy Cat, for example, doesn’t know that. I see that you really do understand that concept, thus your apology & my acceptance.
Did you peruse the link I posted to see its explanation for non-member family & friends? Did you check the staff report mentioned in the other link? BTW, although I’m LDS, I am currently ineligible to attend a sealing ceremony. I understand the reasons why so it’s nothing that’ll get me peeved at the church.
Crazy:
Go blow. I’ve no porcupine up my tush. FYI, I’ve seen many weddings, not all of them LDS, where the guest list is split into two: those who get to attend the ceremony and those who get to go to the reception. Usually, the deal with that is based on the capacity of the church/chapel/skydiver’s airplane. I’ve yet to see anyone rant, “I can’t believe they didn’t pick somewhere where we can all fit!” Feel free to be the first so I won’t be able to use that line again. (<==That’s an attempt at humour.)
Now repeat after me: It’s possible that you are the fucktard who doesn’t have freaking clue. You, for example, are ignoring the so-called advice you just attempted to give me. What’s really gotten old is that when the words “Mormon” and “marriage” are mentioned in the same breath, some folks feel the need to vent about the entirery of “Mormonism.” So, go blow.
UnuMondo:
I’m truly shocked you’ve decided to post something from an obviously biased source which denigrates something approximately eleven million people find to be extremely sacred. What, exactly, is your motive in doing that? Nah, strike that. I couldn’t care less how you rationalize such a tacky and disgusting stunt.
gobear:
Good on ya.
To the General Public:
Yes, it is possible to have a marriage ceremony officiated by the ward bishop outside of the temple. There is, though, two major things that ensue as a result of that choice. One is that there’s a waiting period before the couple can then go to the temple and have their marriage sealed for eternity (see above about “the long haul”). The other is that it just is not the same thing in our faith as the “long haul” marriage. In the thread which ensued from the staff report, I mentioned that I know (not that way!) very many women who think that the most beautiful words in the English language are “until death do us part.” To me, and I think most LDS, those words, when applied to our concept of marriage, fall far short of what we expect a marriage to be. In short, I find that “until death do us part” concept, well, I find it odd.
Other religious ceremonies for other faiths prohibit non-members of that faith from being integral parts of the ceremony. For example, I can never be a godfather to any children my nephew and his bride will have. So, should I be permitted to vent about the unfairness of that? Well, since it’s not unfair, no.
Diane’s done a very good job in describing a lot of stuff about LDS and she is definitely no fan of the church or its teachings.
Finally: I’m still waiting on the multiple pit threads bemoaning those religious leaders who, following their faiths’ teachings, refuse to hold a joint ceremony or to officiate at a marriage between a member of their faith and someone who’s not a member. Since I understand that their faith has such a teaching, I will never pit them for it.
Thanks Alice.
Exactly.
A Temple marriage is extremely important to LDS Church members and something they are taught to strive for from the time they are children.
I am not certain of everything involved, but there are particular steps that must be obtained before a Temple recomment is issued to a person. IIFC, they involve fasting, counseling, meeting attendance, praying, interviews. It is a very important part of being a devout Mormon.
Obviously it is important enough for the couple to take the steps needed to be allowed to have a Temple marriage. I do think it is selfish and sad that certain family members can’t accept the fact that it isn’t their choice.
Also, I am curious of what all was involved in your aunts excommunication. At this very moment I can name 5 women who were married in the temple and now divorced who are still very active members of the church. Not doubting you personally, but I am almost certain there are other circumstances that led to her being excommunicated.
Cheating father and hosebeast wife would only be allowed to attend the ceremony if they are eligible to enter the Temple. Again, not every member is allowed in.
Nichol_storm:
I forgot to ask you one question: Do you understand now that the LDS haven’t done anything to your aunt?