See, The cable company came out last year, and had to drop some new cable in the neighborhood. My yard was one of those that needed a little digging.
Well, my cable box happens to be inside a small stand of aspens, maybe five of them.
The cable company did so much digging that they killed off two and a half of them. (one’s half dead)
So, I’ve cut the dead ones down. I don’t have a chainsaw, so I have to go outside with a handsaw, and cut away.
The problem is, I’m too lazy to continue cutting them into small pieces, so I have three 25-30 foot trees cut into about 6 foot lengths in my backyard.
Buy a machete. They save a bunch of time limbing the trees and breaking down the branches into stackable peices. I figure what takes a saw and pruning shears 3-5 minutes takes a machete about 15-20 seconds; it’s also a lot more fun, and gets the neighbors to keep their noisy kids inside for the rest of the afternoon. You can get one at a camping or military surplus store. The military surplus stores usually have them cheaper (5-10 bucks). Also- sharpen it with a file, not a stone; the edge will hold longer.
I’m an old wood chopper from way back. Renting a chain saw is very good advice. A good axe is preferable to a machete. When I was younger and worked cutting lines in the bush I suggested we carry machetes as well as axes. The old crew boss asked if I had ever seen tropical workers who work with machetes. Apparently the smart ones wear shin guards that very quickly have nicks in them. Careless use of an axe will cripple you for life also. Picture the axe swinging into the side of your foot (shiver). Make sure there is someone else around when you are cutting wood.
Machetes are for Jamaican cane cutters, the axe is a North American classic. Remember the hundred year old axe in the book “Cold Mountain”? The handle had been replaced four times and the head replaced twice(or something like that) and it was a hundred years old.
A dull axe is a dangerous axe. Sharpen the axe razor sharp with a file - just file at a slight angle by stroking straight at the cutting edge. Apply lots of pressure, this ain’t a surgical instrument. Another cool axe sharpening technique is to brace the axe against you, hold the end of the file in one place against the side of the axe head, and with the other hand pivot the file along the sharp edge sort of like a windshield wiper (wearing work gloves). This technique will put a razor edge on in seconds. Old axe heads are often half the size of a new axe from constant sharpening.
One last tip - frozen wood is a lot easier to work with. It’s less springy and more brittle.
Are there any independent contractors in your area who can take care of it? There’s usually someone who supplements his regular income by doing jobs like this, that are too taxing for DIY, but too small for full-time carpenters and such to bother with. Check the classifieds.
Mr C. Try buying a “Woodshark” I think it’s made by poulan. You can buy one at walmart for about 110 dollars. Should be nothing for a monied man such as yourself.
If you’re doing a small job, you might try an electric chainsaw. I had one tree that needed to come down, and I manged to find an electric at Menard’s for under $50 as I recall. Sometimes it’s a handy thing to have around, but for me it’s generally less than once a year.
Just sounding like a Greek chorus here (“me too, me too, me too”), if you have a use for the wood, rent a chainsaw for a few hours. I got one for about $30 bucks for 4 hour hours after a bad storm brought down some tree limbs.
If you don’t have a use for it, either put a sign in your yard (if feasible) or spring for a cheapie classified ad: “Free fire wood; you chop it and haul it”.
Or you could host one hell of a backyard Doper party, complete with monster bonfire. We’ll bring the assorted beverages and snacks. We love fires and explosions and…is there a fire hydrant near your house?
I just pulled out my cooler and filled it with beer and ice… I have the tequilla and a really long extension cord for the blender…are margaritas suitable for a bonfire or should we stick to shots??
And I have 3 bags of marshmellows… is that enough?
Lessee, you got marshmallows; wonder what happens when you roast Frankenstuff weenies over an aspen bonfire?
Doper Blast at Mr. Cynical’s place!
Kerosene, lawn chairs, blankets, almond oil…can you pop corn by tossing directly into the fire? Oh. Mind we borrow a few of the hubcaps off your car, Mr. C.?
