…and it’s up to you to do something about it.
Let’s go…make with the funny/entertaining, chop chop!
I’m not a machine - I can’t dance just because you demand it! Well, okay, I can, but it probably wouldn’t mean much to you, since you can’t see it. Oh, fine, I’ll do a little jig…there, happy?
ahem
There once was a man from The Soo
Whose limericks stopped at line two.
There once was a man from Verdun.
There once was a gal from Cal’gry
Whose limericks had lines of three
So, there you go.
There once was a dude with the jive
To end lim’rick poems at line five
Not at the end –
Heaven forfend!
He’d just stop
There once was a gal from the sticks
Who was sure lim’rick lines should be six
She wrote and she wrote
And she wrote and she wrote
And wrote and she wrote
A rhyme best described as prolix.
There once was a man from Canmore
Whose limericks stopped at line four.
He’d go for broke,
Prepare the joke–
Crap days? That’s bs I says.
The only way to fix a bad day is the smash everyone that made it that way.
If you’re feeling non-violent you can always find a fun game to play, or get philosophical and ask why the God(s) made life this tough some days.
Or you could take some time, get some lime, mix a drink and relax until you’re feeling in the pink, that’s what I think.
There once
was a man
named Kevin
Who thought lim’rick lines should be seven
That’s easy, said he
Just break one in three
(Or more, if it goes to eleven.)
Quick - take one of these- STAT!
You’re welcome.
…but what the hell does this Emergency Clown know, FairyChatMom? I pressed it, I asked it a deep, private, AND philosophical question and what did I get?
NOTHING. Not a squirt of something. Not a sound of the 50’s honk - nada.
I think you’re just crapping up Hal Briston’s already crap day.
‘You’re welcome’ indeed…
Fuck that – I want the slang flash cards.
“I’ve Had A Crap” Day?
For most of us, that describes practically every day.
But if the OP is not in that group, well, congrats, OP!
There once was a man from Cologne
Whose mouth had a mind of its own
He frets and frets
That he’s got Tourette’s
SHIT PISS FUCK ASS
Would boobies help?
There once was a poet named Klein
And most of his poems were fine.
The problem he had
Was his limericks were bad
Because he was always trying to fit way, way too many syllables- far more than should ever be included in any line of any kind of poetry, let alone the limerick, where an inappropriate syllabic structure completely ruins the cadence- into the closing line.
Also, browsing YouTube for clips of “Big Train”, Simon Pegg’s old sketch comedy show, is good for laughs. I rather like the Cake Factory sketch, for starters.
There once was a message board called the Dope.
Where every request for a joke was not answered with a Nope.
This made me laugh way too much. 
My, that IS a nice pair!
The Halleluiah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah is music only, but that didn’t stop a church from trying to do it as a stage show. Of course it goes horribly wrong…
(Youtube link, so warning for sound and possible uncontrollable giggles.)
Sublime.