Glad to hear everything is going well. Don’t forget the whipcream!
You know, to sooth the whipsores.
Don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here in the jealous corner with anya marie
goes off to enrol in a karate class
Congrats. The same exact thing happened to me after my divorce. All of a sudden it became “This is what it is supposed to be like.” You’ll find that it feeds on itself - it keeps getting better adn better as you learn more and more about each other. My SO and I need asbestos sheets.
Moderator’s Notes:
Not to single you out, Blalron, 'cuz there’s other quotations I could choose, but
is an argument for another thread. And another forum. Please take it there if you wish to argue the morality of sex, or adultery, or whatever ya wanna call it.
Yeah, this is a SEX thread! Yay!
SuperLorie, sorry the marriage went to shit. Damn glad you’re getting some good stuff now!
How quickly we forget.
From what I read there’s plenty of DNA samples flying around. Should be easy enough.
Anyhoo, this begs the question. Is being a good lover the result of nature or nurture? Would a clone of Cassanova be as good a lover as the original?
Personally I lean towards “nurture” but there may be some gene somewhere that makes some people better in bed than others. Or maybe genes that make people want/need sex more so they practice more often. If so once the human genome is fully mapped I bet this is one of the first traits people develop genetic therapies for 
Steven
::sigh:: me too. Kind, gorgeous, great in bed. Until I met my current male companion, I thought the triple crown just applied to horse racing…it don’t. 
Good for you, Lorie. Finding out that life – and sex – can go on after divorce is a hard lesson. Yeah!
So much for the old adage…
First time for love,
Second time for money
I never liked that one anyway
SuperLorie, your guy must have been reading the book that my rebound guy wrote. A very similar situation in that I’d been in the process of a divorce, but I hooked up with an old friend who I swear should give classes. The difference between sex with my cheating, “thinks he’s great” ex-husband and this man was like night and day. To be with someone who focuses totally on your pleasure and is not at all concerned with the end result was a revelation…and believe me, he got results. I had no idea sex could be that wonderful, and had no idea how bad it had been.
Without that experience, I think that part of me would still be believing all the lies my ex-husband told me to make himself feel better about his cheating. I would probably still think there was something wrong with me, but now I know better. And I really look forward to establishing with someone wonderful the deeper connection that I had a brief glimpse of with this dear friend. I had no clue what a profound adventure sex can be, and how much fun!
And yes, technically I was cheating too, but it was a few weeks before the divorce after a year’s separation after many, many years of being cheated on, and sometimes something positive can result from something that isn’t 100% moral. And while I don’t think my minister would condone what I did, I don’t think he’d condemn me either. We all stumble and fall in our journeys, and I’d like to think that particular fall just showed me how to land on my feet.
AMEN!! I have a poster of a toddler who has evidently fallen on her rump and is howling indignantly about it, which fades into a woman winning a race. It reminds me that “Success is just a matter of picking yourself up one more time than you’ve fallen down.”
Sex is one of those things that you didn’t know you couldn’t live without, and Maslow rates it up there with food and shelter. SuperLorie, enjoy your new flame, just guard your heart a little, kay?
The difference between a “stumble” and these examples is that a stumble is inadvertant. You don’t walk into it with your eyes wide open. Rape notwithstanding, you choose to sleep with others. I don’t care if your sleep with every straight man in the country and all the lesbian women, as well. But don’t make it seem accidental.
StG
How quotable is that?!? Love the way you said that, kittenblue.
Thank you, bwk.
And StGermain, while you are right that no one “accidentally” sleeps with someone, I think you are missing the point. Even is you try to live a moral life, there are times you may do dumb stuff. That doesn’t mean you give up trying.
But kittenblue, neither you or she are considering this “dumb”. I sense no regret. People may wander into erroneous ways, do stupid stuff. But afterward, one regrets one’s action. Hopefully even learn a lesson that won’t be repeated. This may have been spontaneous, but I don’t see any sense that it was regretted afterward. To me, that means it wasn’t considered what, for want of a better word I’ll call a “sin”. (I know that’s an unpopular concept in this day and age) It was a step, an action.
StG
Thanks for all the congratulations!!! I’m glad some folks out there understand my viewpoint.
And for the other comments, I don’t regret it. I’m still sleeping with the guy, and we both enjoy it. Dammit, I’m entitled to some happiness. I don’t see it as a dumb thing, or I wouldn’t do it, and I don’t see it as a “sin” either.
Well, hey, if I posted everything, my posts would be way too long. And tho I can’t speak for SuperLorie I suspect she hasn’t had time to regret anything yet. So even though this is being covered in another thread in IMHO, I’ll address it here.
I regret that I didn’t wait until after the divorce. I regret that I broke my own rule. If I had known in the middle of June that I’d be divorced by the first part of November, I would not have even gone out to dinner with Rebound Guy…for one thing I would have been too preoccupied. I regret that I have forever changed my friendship with this man, and made it impossible to ever have a strong relationship with him again. I regret the year I spent mourning the end of our liason. I regret that I can no longer console myself that “well, at least I never broke my vows”.
But what I don’t regret is what I learned and gained from the experience. The friendship he offered me, the shoulder to cry on, the advice, and yes, even the physical comfort was invaluable. I truly believe my depression would have been even deeper, and my withdrawal from the world would have been more attractive, if I had not spent that time with him. I wasn’t foolish enough to jump into another marriage, and I didn’t let my children know anything about it. I didn’t hurt any innocent wives or children, and if I hurt him, well, he hurt me too, and it wasn’t fatal. I learned that even incredible lovers and wonderful friends can be total jerks, and I learned how to recognize the signs of jerkdom, and how to protect my heart. It renewed my faith in men, and in marriage.
So overall, it’s pretty much a draw. And I’m not going to dwell on my stupidity, and I’m not going to repeat it. It was wrong, even if positive things came from it. I’ve asked for forgiveness, and I think years of celibacy are penance enough.
Congrats SuperLorie, super sex is something to crow about. What a difference the right person can make! I come easilyfrom penetration alone with my hubby, but befroe him I had been with a twit that could not even get me started. I hope your divorce goes smoothly.
When I met my gf she was in the middle of a divorce. Her wife had left her nearly 2 years and they had not had sex for nearly a year before that. There was no chance that her marriage would suddenly start working so I did not think it was wrong. My husband did not mind either, he just made us blueberry waffles and coffee for breakfast.
When a marrige is over, it is over, even if the law says otherwise. When it a good marriage and well cared for by all memembers, it can survive even though no law would recognize it. I know two men, married to each other longer than I have been alive, but unmarried in the eyes of the law.