I've never seen any Godfather movie. What am I missing?

C’mon fellow Dopers. The OP has told us what he likes in movies, and it’s not stories or writing or acting. Let’s respect that and tell him what he’s really missing by not watching the movie!

Sonny bangs a bridesmaid at his sister’s wedding (although that’s really described better in the novel.)

The Godfather slaps Johnny Fontaine and tells him to “be a man.”

A lot of gangsters get shot, several times in the face.

The family receives a package with Luca Brazzi’s bulletproof vest and a fish, meaning that Luca “sleeps with the fishes.”

Michael gets punched by a police captain so hard he spits out teeth.

Michael shoots the police captain.

Michael sees his Italian wife naked for the first time.

Sonny gets whacked at the toll booth. No explosion, but lots and lots of bullets.

Clemenza strangles Carlo.

Tessio’s I-gave-it-a-shot reaction when his plot to betray Michael unravels.

Michael gets revenge on all the family’s enemies in one afternoon, with just about every gangster-killing technique ever used in the movies.

That’s just the original! There’s lots more stuff in Part II.

I just remembered the equivilent scene in “Goddfellas” (the pasta sauces thing)…Henry Hill is discussing how they sliced the garlic thin so that they could make their pasta sauce. These guys had it made! Remember when the guards delivered a case of lobsters?
Which raises the question: why did the prison give these guys special treatment? They lived together in a suite, and cooked their own food-was this true?

A lot of self-insisting.

The movies are interesting enough, I guess - I just don’t feel moved in the slightest by the alleged tragedy of the soul of Michael Corleone. Frankly, he strikes me as kind of a dick.