Izzy left. (Foreign exchange student)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Our foreign exchange student we’ve been hosting since last August, has left. (Check my posts in recent MMPs for details; I didn’t want to confine this to MMP.) She’s not home yet; in a layover in NYC, but she’s gone from here.

For now, all I’ve got to say is, while we were driving back*, I felt like someone blew up a balloon in my chest. I’d been teary-eyed at the airport (and a bit yesterday, and the day before), but didn’t go full-on Tammy Faye until we’d been at the house a few minutes.

She left a suitcase-worth of stuff that we will ship to her. Though I won’t go into her room until tomorrow. Or more likely Sunday. I can’t even go into the downstairs bathroom because I don’t want to see that empty shelf.

But all in all, it doesn’t feel like as much of a loss as some other leavings (mine and others) have been. I can honestly say it’s been a good experience, for us and for her. All along, I’ve been asking myself, “Am I doing enough for her?” and the last couple of days, “Did I do enough?” After this morning, I can honestly say yes. Yes, I did enough.

And I can say something else. My family was wrong. I no longer have to ask myself what if I’d done this, should I have said that. They were wrong from the get-go. They were the problem, and there was no right way for me to deal with it.

Getting back to Izzy, we’re certainly going to keep in touch. Texting, probably Zoom calls, and perhaps one day we’ll visit her. Not an ending. So I keep telling myself.

*Not all the way back; just the last leg. A friend of Izzy’s accompanied us to the airport. As one might expect, it eased the moment a bit, having an extra person to absorb the sadness. The three of us stopped for doughnuts on the way home, because we heard on the radio that today is National Doughnut Day. Then we dropped Friend off at her house, and then it really hit us.

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Aww. Sounds like it was a great experience. For the both of you.

I’ve followed the MMP story a bit. You are a good person to give Izzy this opportunity and your gift of the experience is a bonus.

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One thing that makes Izzy’s absence less jarring is that we never saw much of her in the afternoons. Morning, of course, before school, and evenings and weekends (kind of like non-custodial parents!), but her routine was to be brought home from school (after-school pickup was usually my detail), go into her room and do homework. I mean, that was important, but so was the alone time. She told us, I forget how far into this, that she needs a break after having to communicate in English all day at school. So mostly she’d be out of sight until 6:30 or so, because we also shifted our dinner time for her. We like to eat around 5, but she preferred 7, so that’s what we did. And then we usually spent the evening together (TV, movies, board games, and recently, a Lego project).

And I’ve been sifting through the stuff she left, wondering why she had three different brands of shampoo and conditioner, and planning how I’ll divide it up into multiple packages. We sent Izzy’s mother a Christmas package, but it never got to her. In fact, it never left the USA. The USPS shunted it around the east coast, opening it, pawing through it and damaging some items in the process, and finally returned it to me. Grrr! Izzy did manage to get the non-perishable items into her luggage. Anyway, I’ve learned my lesson and will use FedEx or UPS this time around.

Sigh. But I’m focusing on the positives. Mr. Rilch and I now have unlimited time to work on the house and grounds. And I’m remembering how long it’s been since I’ve seen a new-to-me movie. Mr. Rilch was adamant about showing Izzy all the modern classic movies, and various TV shows, but that was all stuff we’d seen multiple times. Now I want to dig into some new media. Heck, we haven’t even seen the third Downton Abbey movie, and I have it on Blu-Ray!

Anyway. Still a few hours before her plane lands. Now I’m off to not make dinner!