I see a lot of gender critical feminists referring to women like this as handmaids. But I really wish they didn’t because that’s not actually fair to handmaids, at least those from Margaret Atwood’s book. Most if not all of the handmaids knew they were being oppressed, they were just too beaten down to fight against it. The resistance came from the handmaids.
Aunt Lydias are a better term for women who knowingly or unknowingly abet those trampling on women’s rights. Aunt Lydias see themselves as instruments of good because they are true believers in the Gilead ideology. Their faith in the system makes them see their own actions in the purest light. If women scream as though they are in pain, Aunt Lydia just cracks the whip harder, because only sinners refuse to get with the program, right? So they don’t see themselves as agents of oppression. In fact, they seem themselves as nice and kind.
Language is powerful. Having a word to represent a class of historically oppressed people is powerful. Thus, conceding our sex-specific language means giving up power. Women don’t have enough power to be giving up jack shit.