Errm, no, I mean where in the world you are.
Then you’re not friends with these people.
Hey, take that frustration up with your sister and her non-apology for calling me an abuser, not me.
Yes, and …? Sucks to be that guy, but the idea that all trasnwomen are either gay men or autogynephiliacs is both trivial if true (most women are also autogynephiliacs per the Moser study, and hence this is just more proof that TWAW) and yet easily disproved by the existence of transwomen who are neither - the ones who are into women yet not all about their own genitalia in bed.
And Shupe is clearly very angry, yet blames everyone else for - believing what he reported to them. That’s not a failing of psychiatrists, they’re not magicians.
Funny, I thought that was my point, actually. Only difference being, mine was that you seem to only be privy to negative secondhand experiences. Like I said, I’m aware of those experiences in the same way as you, I too have a functioning internet connection.
Now you’re a mind reader for knowing what is and isn’t going on in my friends’ heads? The same friends who would tell me of their suicidal ideation, or their moral quandaries, or their mental health struggles, but somehow won’t tell me about their regrets about this one thing? Yeah, sorry, no. I know my friends better than you do.
That I’ve never seen you share a happy trans story.
Never claimed to be
Part of that difference is that I know more transwomen than you. That doesn’t make me an expert, but it does render your negative internet sleuthing rather irrelevant compared to what they actually tell me.
But then you’ve already pooh-poohed an actual transwoman in this thread, so I don’t expect any better, really.
It’s James. And he’s been harmed more by his own brain, not gender ideology. Gender ideology is neutral.
“If we only talk about the negative stories…”
I await you posting positive stories with eager anticipation, then.
Hey, she can feel free to apologize at any time.
We had very different HS experiences, then.
Were you ever intimate or did you ever have sex with any of those women? Sorry for being so blunt! Lol (Of course, feel free to tell me to mind my own beeswax.) I’m just curious because I find it interesting and I guess it kind of strikes me as a double standard that straight women feel free to make statements like that while a lot of straight men do not.
It’s the complete opposite for me. I can admire a beautiful woman and love her personality and cherish her friendship…but that’s where it ends; I don’t want to have sex with her. It’s not her gender expression, it’s her female body. Whether she has short hair and wears guy’s clothes doesn’t change anything; it doesn’t make her sexually attractive for me. I think that’s the case for the majority of straight and gay men and women.
I’m not sure I agree, my guess is that bisexual people are more likely to be attracted to gender expression while straight and gay men and women are attracted to bodies. And I’ll take a wild guess and say that transgendered people are more likely to be attracted to gender expression.
What do you understand “attracted to gender expression” to mean? Attracted to a particular set of clothes, comportment & coiffure?
I’m bi, and I’m attracted to bodies and/or personalities. While I can be attracted to someone’s sense of style, it’s not particularly gendered - I am attracted to fashion and beauty styles that might be considered quite masculine, quite feminine and quite androgynous so I don’t know if that’s “attracted to gender expression”. I’m the same about the bodies I find attractive. In fact, the only strongly-defined taste I have is “must not be stupid”, and that’s completely gender-neutral.
I can more easily understand attraction to gender expression by thinking about it backwards. If I saw an otherwise attractive man with a feminine hairstyle, clothes and mannerisms, would that put me off? It certainly would make me suspect he was gay. But then isn’t a lot of what we call gender expression intended to highlight physical features that would appeal to the opposite sex? Not sure how to think about it.
I have news for you about bears…
The claim that most feminine man are gay in no way implies that most gay men are feminine.
Um, yes? If not that, then what? Here’s what Google says:
Sounds like clothes, comportment, and coiffure to me. Why don’t you define it for us since you seem positively shocked at what I’ve written.
That makes sense to me; that’s kind of how I think about it too. I guess I divide it into what would be a stereotypical or common male asthetic vs a stereotypical or common female asthetic.
This is my experience too. Gender expression catches my attention, but once my brain imagines the doffing of clothes and the commencement of anything sexual, male primary and secondary sex characteristics need to be in the picture. Female ones cannot be.
The character “Daddy” from the second to the last season of Orange is the New Black is someone I could see crushing on if were I jailed. But to me, a crush is not the same thing as sexual arousal. A crush is just a crush until it’s put to the test sexually.
It’s not “different”, it’s simply a matter of focus.
A trans woman who is attracted to women is naturally going to be particularly interested in unconscious attitudes of lesbian women. That does not justify jumping to conclusions about the group, but it’s still naturally going to be on their mind. This will be true even if lesbian women are objectively the least biased group, most especially if someone’s personal experience is highly unrepresentative, for example from a different generation than the respondents or residing among an atypical group.
And we are, all of us, highly unrepresentative along some dimension or another. No one is perfectly median down every single axis of human experience.
Less than 5% of women are lesbian or bi, but if a woman tells me she is, it would be a major mistake to claim it’s likely she’s mistaken or lying merely because the overwhelming majority of women are otherwise.
A personal story can be untrue, either a lie or maybe more innocently the result of faulty, selective memory. Or an unusual person, living in an unusual place, among unusual people, could be extrapolating more or less honestly based on unusual, unrepresentative experience. That doesn’t justify misguided moral condemnation. But it’s still very possible that a deeply wrong-headed and damaging conclusion had its origins in a place of honest personal experience. Happens all the time. Practically everyone navigates the plausibilities around them based purely on instinct, intuition, an experience that feels just like truth to them, regardless of how true it is. People can and do lie, but we are also honestly mistaken about shit all the time, lulled into error by the subjective feeling of absolute truth.
There are a lot of posts like this on r/asktransgender. Doesn’t exactly make me think ‘yup, totally normal female experience’…
https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/7h2bmo/why_am_i_getting_erections_like_this/
But it does imply a distinct lack of understanding of both gays and feminine men.
“Most feminine men are gay” is just a stereotype. An extremely dated one, at that.
I live in the US.
Of course I’m not friends with my kid’s friends. Why would I be?
I’m not shocked, I genuinely want to know if it meant one specific set of those. Like - “I’m only attracted to people who look like X” where X is one gender-stereotypical set of outwards presentation?
I don’t see the relevance of that reddit post to what I posted.
…because obviously the USA is a cultural monolith, and anyone asking for location clarity for questions of cultural differences would be automatically enlightened by a terse “USA” as a reply to “where do you live” type questions 
“Austin, Texas” or “Rural Upstate New York” or “Corner of Haight and Ashbury” would be the kind of thing I’d be looking for.
Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to imply I had conversations with my kid’s friends about their sexuality. I have those convos with my kid, who has them with her friends. I do have conversations with people of your kids’ age about it. Because they are my friends.
Address that then if you think it’s wrong; I’m not wedded to the assumption. Your reply was a non sequitur.
And of course I’ve heard of bears, I don’t live under a rock.
I am not originally from the US. I’ve lived in San Francisco, Boston, currently in the DC metro area. Why the specific geography questions? What does it tell you? You could just ask directly.