J. K. Rowling Is Polluting Childrens' Minds!

The notorious British propagandist J. K. Rowling, author of the infamous Harry Potter (if that’s his real name) books, has long waged an insidious campaign of deception and mind control targetted at our youngest and most vulnerable citizens. It is time someone put a stop to this.

The latest example, gleaned from a careful study of these offensive works, is this: When the wizards in the book stun someone with a Stupefy! charm, they awaken them with an Ennervate! charm! BUT – “enervate” does not mean to make someone more alert – it means to make them weaker, to rob them of vigor! (or vigour, as the crafty Rowling would probably misspell it!)

Now thousands of school children will think that “enervate” is synonymous with “energize” when it is in fact nearly its opposite. How can our children withstand such a determined and duplicitous onslaught on their frail little minds?

That’s it! No more! Ban the books! Ban the action figures! Ban the movie! Ban the collector’s items! While we’re at it, ban the whole toy industry! And McDonalds! And Starbucks! And British beef!

Is there anyone I left out that I should have included?

Oh yeah (hijacking his own thread, before it even gets started) – Ban the LOTR movie too (another British propaganda onslaught)! Neve Campbell! What were they thinking?

Laura Schlessinger?
No, I know she doesn’t have anything to do with Harry Potter, I just want her banned.
Well you asked.

Um, while Neve is hot as all get out, she’s not in the movie. Maybe you’re thinking of Liv Tyler.

hey, isn’t Neve Campbell Frodo? and Freddie Prinze Jr. is Gandalf, with the gang from American Pie as the dark riders, and Sarah Michelle Geller as Tom, and Jar Jar Binks as Bilbo!

No offence pluto, but I think you are barking up the wrong tree. Why on earth would you want to ban one of the very few things that actually encourages children to read? You’d be better off buying the kid a good dictionary to go along with the books. That would teach them to read, research and realize that not everything they read is automatically true.

I find these last two posts to be endlessly amusing. So there!

You rock, adam yax!

Cite please.

Yes, and what about “flammable” and “inflammable”!

Well I don’t know what they were thinking. But I know what I’m thinking. :smiley:

Yeah, adam, it sure didn’t work for me! I want to go to Hogwarts someday, and meet Luke Skywalker and Captain Kirk!!

I thought I’d just hop in to correct this and inform the thread that J.K. Rowling is female.

I could be wrong, but I took that line to mean “If that is his (Harry Potter’s) real name.” I didn’t think it referred to the author.

The OP is a joke, Adam.

i thought adam was making a joke too.

he was, wasn’t he?

When is the next book coming out!?!?! Jeez I need to see what next to Harry Ron and that chick whose name can not be pronounced.

Do you think there will be a plot to kill Harry in the next book?

Do you think that someone the kids think is their new friend is actually their enemy?

Do you think that someone that the kids think is their enemy will turn out to be their friend and give them a helping hand at a crucial time?

Oh and FTR

I never want an action figure made of me.


Because somewhere, someone will stick mini-me up their butt for sexual gratification.

J K Rowling has said that she’s plotted the whole series already (I think there are going to be 7 in all).