James Harrison returns his kids' trophies

The Game Room
61

Well Im not sure why you think it’s black and white. It’s not mutually exclusive. You have kids who play because they love what they are doing; you have kids who play because they have a natural talent for it; you have kids who are pushed into it by their parents; you have kids who play because of a competitive spirirt and a need to be “the best”. You can also have a mix of any of those. The kids who participate because thy enjoy it but aren’t especially talented are the ones who get the participation trophies… and they aren’t playing for the trophies.

The kids know which ones are the participation trophies. They aren’t appreciated amongst their peers. It’s an artificial ego boost that doesn’t really do that. “Look I got a trophy for being in hte league.” “Yeah, big deal, they give those to everyone. Mine says First Place.” THAT"S how it really goes down when parents are out of earshot.

62

So participation trophies give the kids the chance to learn a valuable lesson. Works for the performance trophy winners also. If someone bragged to me that he had a first place trophy and mine was worthless I’d steal his trophy. It’s a real lesson in morality.

63

Ermmmm… ok…

64

Losers (their parents actually, in this case) tend to resent the distinction between winning and losing. Thus was born the “participation” trophy.

It’s just another example in the long list of various types of frailties and foibles losers are in denial about.

65

IMO, participation trophies teach kids the wrong lesson. It teaches them that just showing up is enough to get an award. Yes, some of the kids work hard and don’t achieve anything special, and really, that’s how life is. Not everyone is special in everything they try, sometimes not in anything they try, and if we just give out awards like candy, where’s the incentive to find that one thing that the kid really might be good at?

And I think the idea of “giving back the Super Bowl ring” isn’t analogous at all. They were part of a championship team in a team sport. Yes, some of the players contribute a lot more than others, but all of them contribute, either by filling in when people are injured or need to rest, or on specialized offensive/defensive packages, or on special teams. Hell, even the third string quarterback, who often goes the whole season without a single game snap, is making contributions on the sideline and usually QBs the scout offense in practice. Giving them all a Super Bowl ring is no different than giving all the kids on the best team in little league a championship trophy, you were part of a championship team. You don’t deserve a trophy just for being part of a team that came in last place.

The point is, kids should be playing sports because they enjoy them, because it teaches them teamwork, discipline, and other skills. If a kid is only playing a sport because he’s going to get a participation trophy, then he probably shouldn’t be playing that sport. Sports are a great and fun way to learn a lot of valuable skills, but it’s not the only way and it’s not for everyone. Sure, be a little extra generous with awards for younger kids (eg, perhaps awarding the top two or three in rushing and not just the best), but if there’s nothing meaningful beyond participation to award them for, then don’t.

That all said, I do still think it makes him a jerk to take away a trophy once it’s been awarded. Yeah, maybe they didn’t earn it in his estimation, though, I guess if it’s for participation, they technically did. But rather than taking it away, use it as an opportunity to teach them about the values and humility that he thinks it misrepresents.

66

What a perfect articulation of what I’m talking about. People who use a term like “losers” in this kind of categorical, characterological way are the ones who need for there to be no participation awards. There must be some tangible marker of my being a winner, and that is diminished by you getting anything even though you’re a loser. How can you know how much of a loser you are when you get a trophy? If you deny your loserness, how can I be sure about my winnerness?

Again, this is really only relevant for young kids in community leagues, yet there are people who still have a pathological need for them to know how losery they are. Again, the kids/adults who were good are rarely the ones with this pathology. The ones who needed the external, tangible validation are the ones for whom this matters.

67

And what happens if you teach them that just showing up is enough to get an award (which it is in the case of a participation award)? Do they turn to a life of crime? Will they be doomed to failure in life? Will this lead to the fall of Western Civilization?

Or maybe this has no effect on kids at all and it’s a dumb argument for adults to relive their life vicariously through their kid’s sports activities.

68

I think we’d be better off all around if we could get away from calling participant recognitions “awards” and “trophies.”

‘Just’ showing up is important–the whole competitive enterprise for everybody depends on it, in fact–and it’s worth recognizing. But perhaps such recognition shouldn’t come with the name or shape of a trophy.

69

Even the NFL does it. As I wrote in an earlier post, James Harrison gets paid just for playing. His reward doesn’t depend on him winning the Super Bowl.

Does the fact that Harrison gets paid even if the Steelers don’t win the championship somehow devaluate a Super Bowl ring? Of course not. I’m sure Harrison wanted to get another Super Bowl ring. And a participation trophy for participating doesn’t devaluate a championship trophy for winning the championship.

The “winning is the only thing” or “second place is just first loser” attitude is warped and terrible. Yes, competing is good. But we shouldn’t have the idea that anyone who competes is a failure if they don’t win the competition.

70

His NFL salary is his reward for being one of the best. It’s a best of competition trophy. Other players are paid based on their relative success and value at that level. I’m not getting a participation salary from the NFL because I can’t play professional football at an elite level (or, at this age, any level). I’m not getting a paycheck just for showing up with a helmet and pads to an NFL training camp. That might just get me a restraining order.

THe other side is that performance bonuses in the NFL are very very very much a thing.

71

It’s funny- when I’ve spoken to people who are really into kids sports they often tout athletics as a way to teach larger values and life skills: the ability to lose or win with grace, commitment, perseverance, respect for yourself, your coaches and players, having a healthy body etc etc. Very few adults who are part of youth sports I’ve met have said sports are important just because of the winning aspect and the competition.

It’s seems like having the community (parents, coaches etc) recognize all those other values are exactly what those coaches were talking about.

SOmeone once said “showing up is 80% of life”. The people who don’t show up have failed before they started. So yeah, rewarding the kids who decided to show up and sticked with something and who learned that showing up and trying is the best way to enjoy life and learn what you’re good at deserve recognition for that. These are children- they’re learning vlaues and how to be successful adults. I want them to learn to stick with something, trying and giving it a shot.

72

Clearly you haven’t seen the different trophies that are given out. In my swim team experience, the participation trophy was literally a 2"x2.5" marble base with our names engraved on it and something like “Imperial Point Penguins 1983.”, and a plastic gold-plated swimmer mounted on it.

The “real” trophies were involved affairs with colors and years and flashy stuff. There was always a clear distinction between a “real” trophy and the participation ones, and nobody confused the two, and nobody really had any inflated idea of what the participation trophies meant.

The participation trophies were mostly for the littler kids- 5-10 years old. Much older than that, and we all knew they were meaningless. But for the younger kids, it was a reason for them to get their names called, walk up and get their trophy and be happy about the season.

Another thing to remember is that a lot of younger kids aren’t competitive like older ones get, so the idea of winning and losing isn’t as vital to them as having been part of the greater whole of the team and doing their part. It may sound patronizing, but it’s essentially the same thing as having a 2 year old “help” you do something; they usually get in the way, are more help than hindrance, but you end up praising them for their effort, and they beam from ear to ear because they were a good helper. The kids on a t-ball team aren’t in it to beat the other team necessarily. While they like winning, either way once the game’s over, they’re now interested in the picnic with their teammates, and at the end of the season, if they went 0-8, they’ll have had just as much fun at the pizza party with their teammates as if they’d gone 8-0.

So for those younger kids, the award of a little trophy isn’t saying “Hey- you sucked, but we’re going to give you an award anyway.”, but rather it’s saying “Hey- you were part of the team and provided valuable contributions, so we’re giving you this small trophy as a token of our appreciation.” And they appreciate that and do understand that.

73

The last few years I’ve coached little league. At the end of year picnic the league gave the kids Trophies and I gave them each a pack of baseball cards. The kids would hand their parents the trophies and then spend the rest of their time eating hot dogs and trading baseball cards.

I’m pretty sure they would have all been happier if I’d have given them two packs of cards and kept the trophies.

My son knows exactly where the medals he won in Karate tournaments are. I don’t think he or any of us know where any of the dozens of participation medals he’s gotten are.

74

Kids are aware of this artificial sentimentality in a meaningless forced, “Here ya go. You suck and you know it but here’s a thing for showing up anyway.” There are aware of this and are not particularly appreciative of it.

Kids who don’t do well in a gvien competitive activity should be recognized and supported by their parents individually with encouragement form the parents on a regulkar basis, As I stated above, if my child didn’t play particularly well or her art piece didn’t fare particularly well in a competition, the recognition was in the interplay and genuine encouragement from us, their parents. After every event, win or lose, we would recognize their efforts and spend the time with them to show them that we were proud of them. That’s the participation trophy. Their parents are proud of them no matter what. It was genuine. It was not a forced thing. THAT’S the recognition that means something not some artificial trophy that gets handed out of a box of a hundred other ones. Those trphies are simply not a genuine sentiment.

Someone also said “Winning isn’t everything , it’s the only thing.” but I’m not sure that really means anything or holds any value. I’m not one to put stake in random bits of meanigless slogans. Cowboy up!

75

Well, let’s just say that my experience working with kids in athletics (my own and other people’s kids- we’ve been involved in coaching soccer, baseball and lacrosse and my own kids did those plus swimming and martial arts) is vastly different than what you describe. The kids who need the reinforcement aren’t harmed by it and the kids who do need it, benefit. You don’t which kid is getting nothing positive at home, or is hearing from an overzealous parent that winning is everything and why didn’t they do better. Those kids absolutely benefit from being recognized by another adult in their life. Plus, the MVP gets to see that the less skillful players matter too, and for a little kid, that’s an important lesson. These are life skills we’re reinforcing here, not just competitive sports lessons. Isn’t that supposed to be one of the benefits of doing sports?

76

Kids do like to get the trophies. They get excited and are proud. That’s why it bothers the “dick in the dirt” crowd.

FuriousGeorge, what ages are you talking about? Can you give any examples of truly competitve leagues that give participation trophies? I contend that you are confusing two different types of sports leagues and activities.

77

FWIW- I’m a 48 year old and by any measure have been successful in life. I was never a great athlete but spent a couple of summers on swim team as a kid. I still have the dopy medal everyone got for participation and every now and again I find it next to my Latin Gold Medal and it always makes me smile, that I was part of the team. I remember it fondly and I can still remember how proud I was that I did something hard and scary for me, but I did it.

78

From kindergarten T-Ball to High School district art competitions and pretty much everything in between. Different skill levels, different ages, etc. Kids are smarter and more savvy than some of you want to give them credit for.

79

So you are in fact intentionally conflating community rec sports participation with high school intermural teams. That’s deceitful, in my opinion, and it doesn’t make any sense to regard issues of competition versus playing for the fun of playing as equivalent across that range of ages and contexts.

80

I’m sorry what? You are calling me out for what exactly? You think there is a large difference in community rec sports league and high school intra murals? I don’t share that opinion.