So…lemme get this right, if she eats your poo, it’ll help her back pain?
“But m’lady…NOoo[sub]ooo[/sub]ooOOoO[sup]ooo[/sup]!” cried Lord Fenris of Mountebanke, and with that, he removed his waistcoat and dove in after her.
He promptly landed on his head on the rocks below.
“Oh, pooh!” flounced Lady jarbabyj, who had been patiently waiting to die, to drown in the cold waters: her spirit broken by the cruel lack of caring from the palindromic Otto. “What a bother.” And she scooped Lord Fenris in her arms and carried him back to shore.
She eyed the soggy Wolflord up and down and braced herself for the inevitable task of mouth-to-mouth resussitation when she saw Lord Fenris peeking through one squinted up eye, awaiting the delicate touch of her perfect lips.
“You clit-elbow!” she cried in her ladylike tones. “You were only having sport of me…in order to restore my joy in life. I was planning to kill myself. I was devistated by the palindromic Otto’s lack of caring…but I
have just reconsidered as I realized ‘Oh, wait! That isn’t me!’”
Her bosoms heaving she said “Oh THANK you Lord Fenris. You have restored my will to live with your mind-fuckingly stupid act! If you ever do something dumbass stupid like that again, I shall surely kick the shit out of you.”
Lord Fenris
I’m sorry, I don’t normally post these sorts of things, but Fenris and jarbaby…
Wa ha ha hahahahahahah.
I beg to differ. Sua has every bit as much sense as a bunny rabbit, plus he’s way cuter.
You know, manhattan, if you look through these binoculars, you could see that the cross is pushing his head even further up his ass…
And friedo, that was a pretty funny post. I wonder if you could make that an easter egg in some commercially released software…
<----patiently volunteering to be the Undersecretary of Undercurrents for the SDMB Spino-Clitoral Support Group, where our motto is " A Happy Clit Is A Well Supported Clit".
All comers welcome
Cartooniverse
wipes tears from face
smothers laughter
turns on objective, impartial observer mode
Tells it like she sees it: (from reading the chiropractor thread)
jarbabyj: explains that said quacks may not be all bad due to her personal experiance. (ie. Her back hurts like bejeebs for three years, doctors suggest chiro but refuse to allow her surgery)
Otto: Says to get another doctor.
jarbabyj: says thats what she’s been doing, and she doesn’t care if its chiro or surgery she just wants to feel better.
Otto: feels snubbed and put upon
starts pit thread attempting to violate jarbabyj
From what I can tell, jarbaby may have been a bit snide/exhasperated with her first responce. If you honestly felt like being charitable and helping, you’d understand such exhasperation, Otto. Instead, you took her “Been there, done that” as a personal attack. And started a well created and entertaining, but unessesary and over the top Pit thread. You’re being hurt and upset by a level of neutral flippancy. Do you sue the public transit station when the bus leaves right before you get to the stop?
Assault the drone behind the counter when they run out of skim milk for your latte? Kick someone in the ribs for not letting you open a door for them?
You’re blowing this out of proportion. If you reacted with similar ire to normal daily potholes you’d be in court or jail most of the time. There will always be slightly stressed people with more issues than meet the eye that you get to deal with. Some of them will not immedietly defer to your amazing personality and charm, not to mention your omniscience. You can’t attack them for this. Not and be considered sane.
I have a herniated disk, too. For three damn years. And my fucking doctor has yet to recommend this clitotherapy.
That’s the problem. You have a fucking doctor. Apparently you need a licking doctor.
That was a bad joke, but what the hell, it’s just a segue for me to offer my services anyway.
QUICK! Someone call Dr. Kevorkian!
As long as it doesn’t include handstands. Can’t do any handstands till the stitches come out. Nope, no handstands until after Friday.
Until then, can I just have the cure if I promise to spin you around a bit after?
Well, I don’t know jarbabyj personally, but I thought better of her than to think that she might want to eat poi. I mean, I ate poi once in Hawaii, and I thought it tasted like library paste. Of course, SOMEONE must like it, because they keep making it. But really, I can’t think who that someone is. Poi is…
What’s that you say? He said she can eat his POO? Oh, dear. My bad.
Well, I was going to post my own chiropractic experiences here, but I just realized that this isn’t the thread for that.
So just let me say that I read the thread, and I think that you overreacted, Otto dear. Take a deep breath and think about this, okay? Please?
Scotti
Just as a minor note here - I found this statement a bit incongruous. Otto, As far as I can see - you never gave any indication in the cited thread that your advice comes from a professional expert. In that context, I don’t think it is quite fair for you to assume that jarbabyj was showing disrespect for your professional qualifications.
I know that I don’t frequent all of the forums, so maybe I am not aware how widely known your occupation is - but I have lurked enough to be aware of jarbaby’s ongoing efforts to heal, lessen, and cope with her back pain.
I guess I have to stand with those who think you may have overreacted.
Since I am lousy at doing it for real - insert your own favorite virtual flirt here.
Oh shit, a thread involving Whale weiners and a poster with the work “Dork” in his name.
I know there is a joke there somewhere, I just can’t seem to pull it all together.
I’ll stick by her, especially if there is the possibility of clit-sucking afterward. 
Even if not, I still would leap at any opportunity to give personal support to jarbabyj.
Hmm. A pile-on pit rant mixed with gratuitous mention of jarbabyj’s clitoris. Only on SDMB.
I hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson here. Never, ever offer helpful advice on this board. Just reply with a little quip like most everyone else does and you’ll get along just fine.
Well, I think the best time for the clit sucking would be DURING the whale fellatio. Distract her from her back pain and what she is doing long enough for the cure to take effect.
I respectfully disagree. I’ve helped people on the boards and via e-mail and never been snubbed or criticized for it. Maybe that’s because I treat them with respect and try to find out the whole story. I try not to jump to conclusions. I also realize that my advice is not law. They are free to go down whatever avenue they choose and I respect their decision to follow or not follow my advice.
Zette
I thought jarbabyj was pretty rude in her original reply. She basically took Otto’s advice and said “Well DUH!!!”. Now maybe it was obvious advice and maybe it wasn’t, I don’t know. Either way it didn’t need saying. Otto seemed to be trying to be genuinely helpful in his post.
If he’d simply posted something like “hey, don’t get snippy with me, I’m just trying to help” in the thread in question, that would not have been an unreasonable response. The OP was. People who really want to help someone don’t starting screaming obscenities the moment the person they’re helping doesn’t grovel with gratitude.
Otto is a butt-nut.
So what you’re saying is that in addition to being an HMO paralegal, Otto is also a contortionist?
I guess I need to remember that for future threads. After all, you never know when he’ll call me on it.