Jarheads! Dog Faces! Squids! Zoomies! (Coasties too, what the hell) FALL IN!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ladies, Gentlemen and Marines, WELCOME to the SDMB Unit Run!

We will be taking a short morale run around the post (heh) in celebration of January 25th!

:: pretends to ignore several “UUuuurps!” and “'oooo-Rahs!” from among the formation ::

For the next three minutes you will stretch your military muscles in preperation of this run. Ready STRETCH

:: tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock … ::

FALL IN!

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight FACE

Forward MARCH

Left . . . Left . . . Left Right . . . . . . DOUBLE TIME . . MARCH!

Left . . . Left . . . Left Right

Sgt Inigo: Son got hit by a mortar round
Joint Forces: Dooh Dah, Dooh Dah
SI: There’s pieces of him that’ll never be found
JF: Oh Dooh Dah Day, Mama don’t you stress, your son’s a bloody mess, we’ll send him home in a body bag, Oh Dooh Dah Day

SI: Son got fried by Willie Pete*
Joint Forces: Dooh Dah, Dooh Dah
SI: Now he smells like burger meat
JF: Oh Dooh Dah Day, Mama don’t you stress, your son’s a bloody mess, we’ll send him home in a body bag, Oh Dooh Dah Day

SI: Son got hit by a frag grenade
Joint Forces: Dooh Dah, Dooh Dah
SI: Now he looks like marmelade
JF: Oh Dooh Dah Day, Mama don’t you stress, your son’s a bloody mess, we’ll send him home in a body bag, Oh Dooh Dah Day

That’s all I got right now folks. If any former/current military types care to call some cadence please help us out. If you’re really good I’ll do my “Cocoa Butter” double time song for you!
*“Willie Pete” = charming nickname for white phosphorous incendiary weaponry

2

Some of my more favorite ones:

I wanna be a Grill Instructor,
I wanna wear a paper hat!
Flippin’ burgers, cookin’ hot dogs,
makin’ French Fries is where it’s at!

Secretary is runnin’ her lip,
Chairborne Ranger gonna take a little trip.
Stand up, shuffle, run out the door,
Look at the clock it’s a-ten to four.
PowerPoint Ranger saves the day,
when the Colonel asks about the “MPA”.

Tripler
CHAIRBORNE!

3

Aw shit, forgot the last two lines to PowerPoint Ranger:

The projector’s down, but the server’s okay,
12-megabyte e-mail is on it’s way. . .

Tripler
A true, real-life PowerPoint Ranger.

4

A little bird
With a yellow bill,
He sat upon,
My windowsill.
I coaxed him in
With a piece of bread,
And then I stomped his little head.
When They Tried to Make a WAC Outta Me To the tune of Battle Hymn

They took away my freedom and they made me wear a bra
They took away my freedom and they made me wear a bra
They took away my freedom and they made me wear a bra
When they tried to make a WAC outta me

They took away my beercan and they gave me my canteen…

They took away my boyfriend and they made me sleep alone…

5

Jeez, I’m entering my third decade since my Marine Corps days, so I forget most of them.

One really dirge-like one went:

Mamma, mama, can’t you see
What the Marine Corps has done to me
Shaved my head and shaved my face
Made me part of the human race

and of course the one even more civilian scum knows:

I know a girl who lives on a hill
She won’t do it, but her sister will
Lo-right-left
Lefty-right-left
Lo-right-left
Love to doubletime

Cpl. Rhosis, USMC

6

Aaaaaaaone!
Went to Vietnam
Two!
Dropped a lot of bombs
Three!
Smoked a lot of grass
Four!
Kicked a lot of ass
One, Kill, Two, Kill, Three, Kill, Four, Kill
One, Two, Three, Four
United States Marine Corps

I got a kick out of that one at boot camp.

PFC Volta, USMC

7

If I die in San Antone

Make them send my body home

In the coffin I will lie

Grounded to inspection side

8

#58 - The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence: budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

(From The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army)

9

Well, it’s the only I remember. Don’t hold it against me:

Model A Ford and a tank full o gas…
Mouthful o pussy and a handful of ass.

I’m a cum-quat baby
And I’m comin’ down the line
Oh, you better get out of my way now.
Or I’ll cum all over you!

SrA Jim, United States Chair Force :smiley:

10

Used when a group of Femes marched by:

Put her right leg over my shoulder!
Put her left leg over my shoulder!
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm!

Unclviny, U.S. Army
(kicked out after 5 weeks, “did not meet procurement requirements for enlistment”)

11

Then there was the day a young lady put an end to dirty cadence:

‘I wish all the men,
were ships on the sea,
and I were the north wind,
I would blow them all for free.’

And the formation got real, real quiet. Priceless memories.

12

When my dad had to go on walks to convelesce after his bypass, he asked me to find some marching cadences on this newfangled internet. Searching yeilded a scary-ass load of Nazi CD’s for your marching pleasure. Seeing the sheer volume of it all, it makes ones scared to be circumcized.

Anyway, I also stumbled across some charming marching songs, if you don’t mind slowing down to 80 paces per minute:

http://voltigeur1.net/

(click on “songs” in the menu bar at left)

13

These were my favorites, but we had to be careful where we did them. A couple more:

I wish all the ladies
were holes in the road
and I was a dump truck
I’d fill them with my load.

I wish all the ladies
were pies on a shelf
and I was a baker
I’d eat them all myself

I can’t imagine why ANYONE would stereotyp the military as sexist, homophobic & mysogonistic! It’s all about love. Civilians just don’t get it. :smiley:

14

Marching? Running? What are you guys talking about?

I have a vague memory of 8 weeks doing that stuff. Then 3 years and 10 months of no chickenshit.

Mr. Goob- Petty Officer 2nd Class USN

15

Parris Island 1975.
I know a girl that lives on a hill.
She won’t do it but her sister will.

I know a girl with a fourty inch bust.
Love to see her bend and thrust.

I know a girl all dressed in pink.
She’s the one that made my finger stink.

Running? Not even for a bus.

16

A few that the officers wouldn’t let us sing:

Burn the town and kill the people
throw some napalm in the square
do it on a sunday morning
kill them on their way to prayer.

throw some candy in the schoolyard
watch those kiddies gather round
lock and load my 50 caliber
mow those little fuckers down.

And:

napalm sticks to little children
all the children of the world
red and yellow, black and white,
they’re the same when they ignite
napalm sticks to all the children of the world.

A tamer one:

My girl’s a vegetable
she lives in a hospital
and i’d do most anything
to keep her alive, yeah

she’s got her own tv
they call it an EKG
and i’d do most anything
to keep her alive, yeah

she’s got no arms and legs
she has only hooks and pegs
and i’d do most anything
to keep her alive, yeah

one day i played a joke
pulled the plug and watched her choke
and i’d do most anything
to keep her alive, yeah

Sgt Kyyrewyyoae, USMC

17

Well since you’re including Coasties… it’s been 14 years since boot, and the only one I remember:

*SP, SP - Don’t arrest me!

Arrest my CC behind that tree…

He’s got whiskey, I’ve got wine…

…And now he’s making me double time!!*

It’s a shame I can’t remember more; we had some cool ones. Figures I just remeber the one with alcohol in it. Typical of us Hooligan Navy types! :smiley:

18

Ain’t no use in lookin’ down
Ain’t no discharge on the ground
Mama mama can’t you see
What the Army’s done to me

See the lady in red
She makes her living in the bed
(alt: She makes her living giving head)

See the lady in black
She makes her living on her back

See the lady in blue
She’ll make a man out of you

The “I wish all the ladies” cadence had these lines added:

Hey Hey, Babu Riba
(hey hey, pass the reefer)

I could use some PT now…

Ex-Weekend Warrior, sergeant in the PA Army National Guard
“infantry leads the way”

19

Hey Trip Here’s another version of that one…

It’s one thirty now on the strip
Chairborne daddy gonna take a little trip
Stand up, lock up, shuffle to the door
The club for lunch and home by four
If there’s something to decide
Close your door and try to hide
Every time you get a call
You’re out playing racquetball
First revise the SOP
Make a change in policy
Ours is not to wonder why
It’s written down in the LOI
God forbid we should go to war
All that paperwork would be a bore
Let me stay behind my desk
Anything is better than the leaning rest
Chairborne Ranger, that’s what I am
One of a kind, I’m an AG man

20

Not a Jody Cadence but these two commands put some 35 lean, green infantry types into giggling hysterics at Fort Riley in 1965:

Second platoon! High diddle-diddle
Files from the middle
Forward – Harch!

and

Second Platoon! Put your rifles in neat little piles – Put!

Since in six months a fair number of those guys were dead you need to allow them a little grab-ass levity.