JD Vance, Usha Vance, and Erika Kirk

This may shock you, but MAGA is not terribly fond of brown people or non-Christians even when they have republican/MAGA cred. For example, Vivek Ramaswamy, a recent republican presidential candidate and candidate for governor of Ohio went to a Turning Point rally and the MAGA audience made it clear that there’s no room for people with kooky brown people religions in their party. He wished everyone a Happy Diwali and got a disgusting but unsurprising response. FBI director Kash Patel was similarly embraced by the loving and tolerant arms of MAGA.

Ramaswamy is a prominent republican who is among the most well known people in the party over the last 10 years, and Kash Patel is Trump’s hand-picked FBI head, and MAGA still hates them. Those guys probably think they can be “one of the good ones” but MAGA’s xenophobia is unmasked and it makes no exceptions. This one is older, but Ann Coulter just came out and blatantly said it and no one gave a fuck then either.

So everyone knows Trump is not healthy and is probably going to die before he can finish out his term. He has a uniquely powerful hold over his cult that other Trump-like people have failed to replicate. It makes you wonder what’s going to happen when Trump dies – does the MAGA cult keep going on in lockstep and form around the new Trump, or does it shatter and begin in-fighting and sort of wash away? Certainly handling that transition is on the minds of a lot of political strategists right now.

JD Vance is the most obvious candidate to take over the movement given his current position, but he has several problems, including the fact that he’s married to an Indian woman, Usha. Given how blatantly xenophobic and hateful MAGA is, this is probably a significant barrier to them embracing him as the new cult leader.

JD Vance recently said that he hopes his wife converts to Christianity and that got a lot of criticism. Personally, I don’t see what the big deal is – if you believe that you have to be Christian to go to heaven and avoid hell, of course you’d want your wife to convert, you’d be insane not to. But it does sort of set the stage for religion being a wedge between them after we’ve had all of this MAGA backlash against Hindus.

Enter Erika Kirk, recently widowed by assassination. I normally wouldn’t criticize people’s behavior after a tragedy because people grieve in different ways, but she seems like quite the opportunist getting out there and not exactly seeming like a heartbroken widow. She recently said that she sees a lot of similarities to her late husband in VP Vance and they were bizarrely touchy at a political event. It is completely abnormal for a married man to touch another woman that way, publically and openly, at a political event. Having his hands on her hips, and her having her hands in his hair in an introduction – they’re practically two teenagers desperate to dry hump under the bleachers.

This feels like a soap opera plotline but it’s not any dumber than any of the other MAGA shit. It seems reasonable to speculate that they’re setting up JD Vance to dump his wife and mother of his children because MAGA wouldn’t accept a brown Hindu first lady, and they’re going to replace her with all American nazi barbie supreme opportunist Erika Kirk.

They’ll probably frame it in religious terms, that JD tried to save his wife by converting her to Christianity but he was unsuccessful and he’s worried about the influence on his kids or whatever, and he needs a Christian nazi barbie wife instead. They’ll try to capitalize on all of the bullshit hero worship of Charlie Kirk by getting those Kirk fans to follow JD Vance. Two birds with one stone.

You might think that ditching his wife of decades and the mother of his children would be a problem for family-oriented MAGA but we all know everything they claim to value is bullshit. I think Newt Gingrich married a few women with terminal cancer just so he could bang another woman on top of them on their death beds and no “family values” people gave a shit. I could give a thousand similar examples. Still, they’ll probably lay the groundwork in religious (rather than racial) terms because that’s less blatantly offensive and easier to justify to MAGA. Most of them won’t openly admit that white is the “right” race, but they of course they’re willing to say that Christianity is the right religion.

Maybe this is a bit conspiratorial sounding but if I was Usha I might be extra careful in the shower. Or perhaps near windows in high up hotel rooms. That would definitely ease the “ditching the mother of his children” narrative if his wife died and Erika Kirk was there to comfort him. Those two crazy kids, finding love after the tragic deaths of their spouses, what a romantic story.

I don’t know why this story caught my attention so much with MAGA doing worse shit than this every day. I guess I’m just getting out ahead of a crazy ass story fit for a soap opera or a bad spanish-language knockoff of House of Cards.

A lot of criticism? If you want to see a lot of criticism, just imagine if Usha publicly stated that she hoped JD would come to his senses and embrace Hinduism for himself and the kids.

I saw a great joke on Bluesky: As one gets older, one’s beard tends to become white.

Nah, if she dies, Vance can’t dump the burden of “her children” on her, he’d have to figure out what to do with them, and then face criticism when he dumps them on someone else.

Here’s what I think the plan is: She marries Vance, then she bangs Trump on the side. She bangs Trump hard enough to give him a heart attack, and then, BANG! Her new husband is President. She then claims to be carrying Trump’s Last Baby, so anyone who tries to oust Vance can be accused of tarnishing Trump’s legacy. Cue frantic efforts to actually get pregnant, so anyone doing the math on it won’t see an obvious tell. Eventually we’re treated to the experience of MAGA telling us how 13-month-long pregnancies are common among superior-genes people.

Really? I don’t know that. Wasn’t aware that was common knowledge

Now you sound like a MAGA proponent. Policing how other people interact is not a good look, especially innocuous actions like “touching” someone’s hip or hair.

Isn’t Vance a born-again Catholic? Doesn’t it make things harder for him to get a no strings attached divorce? I’m not up to date on current procedures, but I think the church frowns on divorce.

Usha did not convert to Catholicism, so it was never a “real” marriage. Annulment after giving the right amount of money to buy an indulgence.

Since Vance wasn’t Catholic when they married, the Catholic church considers their marriage valid ( although not sacramental) and the annulment process would be the same as if they were both Catholic when they were married.

i.e. make the check out to “His Holiness”.

Anyway, she was asking for it - she dressed like a black leather sofa. /s

The current pope wouldn’t accept that check. He’s not a Borgia.

I’ve been considering for several posts, “Not Pope Bob”.

She might say that even if he’s not Hindu now, he might be after reincarnation. (Though in his case, I think he will need to work his way back up to being human.)

They’ve operated that way for an awfully long time to stop now.

My raised Catholic ex-BIL was married to my raised Catholic sister for something like 15 years (and had 2 kids) before he cheated on her with a raised Catholic woman, and HE got an annulment so that he could get properly married in a Catholic church to the other woman he was sleeping around with.

Me, I got married by a Lapsed Jewish Chiropractor with an online religious certification.

That was creepy, even for people that idolize Trump.

True dat.

Heck, the Magats accept Melania. Brown, ethnic or of foreign decent doesn’t matter, IF the persons involved do a fast tap dance.

But I do believe you’re right, Usha’s days are numbered.

If the chiropractor was state-licensed, then the RCC would consider the marriage valid. If he was not licensed, then your marriage can be annulled at Pep Boys, per canon law. If he was licensed outside of the U.S., then you’re all doomed to hell for eternity, no take-backs.

if you have any other theological questions, let me know.

How does the ‘Miracle of Transubstantiation‘ work and why does it not make the recipient a cannibal by definition?

Stranger

It works because the host contains midichlorians. And a bit of plutonium, and traces of kryptonite. When combined, with the appropriate incantations—BAM! Transubstantiation in spades.

Why isn’t it considered cannibalism? That’s one of those sacred mysteries that you wouldn’t understand. I think it has something to do with the plutonium.

Or Zombie virus.