A common line: “How do you know you won’t like it if you haven’t tried it?”
Holy mother of pearl! I know because millions of years of evolution have granted me the mental capacity to make predictions about the consequences of future actions. I’ve never smashed my right hand in a door, but I’m pretty sure from experience that it will be as bad as that time I smashed my left hand in a door. I’ve never stepped on a nail, but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to try that (intentionally) either.
Just because it’s food and just because it’s about my enjoyment level rather than potential grave harm doesn’t mean I suddenly lose the ability to make inferences based on experience. That’s how I know I won’t like it.
If you don’t have any cites, I’m going to go ahead and say that this just doesn’t happen. Any person giving a party for little kids knows not to insist that they eat anything. Peanut allergies are so common that I can’t imagine the parent if a school-aged kid even offering peanut butter cookies to kids in his or her care if they are not 100% certain of allergy status, let alone insisting the kid eat it.
Also, parents of allergic kids make it very very clear upon dropping their kid off if there’s a life-threatening allergy. Parties at my house usually involve one or two kids having epi-pens with them, just in case.
I’m sorry to double-post, but I need to clarify my answer. I’m not saying that hosts and hostesses never insist that people try something, but in order for Senegoid’s story to be true (let alone multiple stories, as suggested), the following factors all had to be present:
[ul]
[li]A parent hosting a party for her child’s friends, unaware that one friend is allergic to peanuts[/li][li]That same hostess either not understanding the words “I’m allergic to peanuts” or not knowing that peanut allergies are very severe[/li][li]A parent of a peanut-allergic child leaving his or her kid at a party without speaking to the hostess about this allergy or bringing along the life-saving medication that allergic children tend to take every-fucking-where[/li][li]A hostess of a kid’s birthday party having the inclination, time and energy during the party to care that every single child try a peanut-butter cookie[/li][li]A peanut-allergic child, old enough to be left alone at a friend’s house, eventually ignoring years and years of warnings about his or her life-threatening allergy and capitulating to the hostess’s insistence[/li]
[/ul]
So, at the risk of sounding like a well-known former poster: if you can’t find me the news stories where all of these factors were present, then no, that didn’t happen.
Yes it does. As someone who has had food allergies as a kid, who has relatives with food allergies, and who has known people with food allergies yes this does happen! The reason it doesn’t kill more people is that MOST of the time food allergy reactions don’t actually result in death even when potentially life-threatening.
When I was in elementary school we had a girl allergic to cow’s milk. Even us 8 year olds knew not to give Janice anything with milk in it. Nonetheless, one day a substitute teacher forced Janice to drink milk at lunch because “milk is good for everyone”. The resulting projectile vomiting was in no way entertaining and Janice spent several days absent afterward.
I recounted when, at a dinner party, despite cautioning the hostess beforehand, I wound up eating some stew that put me in the ER.
My niece, on at least two occasions I knew about, was nearly force-fed hazardous food to her at school by well-meaning adults and there were probably more incidents of which I am unaware given the lost list of forbidden foods she has.
Maybe this is true in YOUR social circle - I can only wish it was actually universally true. Yes, there are a lot of stupid, clueless people out there. Then there are the ones who don’t believe allergies exist and want to prove that by attempting to trick the allergic into eating something they shouldn’t, so they can crow “SEE! I TOLD YOU IT WAS IMAGINARY!!!”
Yes, this most certainly does happen. I know this from personal experience.
[ul]
[li]A parent hosting a party for her child’s friends, unaware that one friend is allergic to peanuts - because maybe the allergy hasn’t been diagnosed yet, or it’s new and the parents haven’t perfected managing the problem, or she was told and forgot.[/li][li]That same hostess either not understanding the words “I’m allergic to peanuts” or not knowing that peanut allergies are very severe - these people do exist. Also, the ones who don’t believe in allergies.[/li][li]A parent of a peanut-allergic child leaving his or her kid at a party without speaking to the hostess about this allergy or bringing along the life-saving medication that allergic children tend to take every-fucking-where - but maybe the medication is mislaid/forgotten because people who don’t have to deal with this problem every day are often careless about it, due to lack of experience.[/li][li]A hostess of a kid’s birthday party having the inclination, time and energy during the party to care that every single child try a peanut-butter cookie - um… isn’t this entire thread about people like that?[/li][li]A peanut-allergic child, old enough to be left alone at a friend’s house, eventually ignoring years and years of warnings about his or her life-threatening allergy and capitulating to the hostess’s insistence - again, allergies may be new. They can occur at any age so the kid may not have “years and years” of warnings in his or her head. And we’ve already seen in this thread examples of adults essentially bullying kids into eating something the kid doesn’t want to.[/li][/ul]
And I tell you, they are all possible - a hostess may be told, but then forget because she doesn’t consider that tidbit a priority. That hits your first two points. Yes, there are some people that anal that they would go around insisting everyone try a bite of every single thing at the party. I’ve experienced this myself. As for the kid - you know, sometime people simply don’t tell, they forget about an ingredient, or they haven’t the intellect/knowledge/whatever to know that, say, ketchup is made from tomatoes and therefore should never be given to someone allergic to tomatoes. It’s not just peanut butter or peanuts themselves you need to avoid, it would also be anything cooked with peanut oil, for example. So maybe those nummy snacks don’t have peanuts in them but if they were cooked with peanut oil it could still trigger a pyrotechnic reaction in a susceptible kid.
And frankly, for the nutballs intent on proving allergies don’t exist I wouldn’t put it past them to tell a young child the offending item isn’t in the food, or even say it’s a special “safe” version of it. I have, myself, been on the receiving end of adults who won’t take no from a child for any reason and then flip into this demented mode where they are going to “teach you a lesson!”. Even as an adult I have on one occasion been the target of someone sneaking forbidden items into my food (when I got up to go to the rest room after a band practice the band director - who was a major dickhead - put ketchup on my burger. Fortunately, one of my friends in the group told me to check my burger before I resumed eating it. And he yelled at her for spoiling the “fun”. Yeah, that one was about 28 years ago.)
Maybe you find comfort with the notion that there aren’t such malicious people in the word, or such careless or clueless people in the world, but I tell you they’re all over the place. It only takes on in the crowd to spoil someone’s day.
Why would a kid getting sick who is successfully saved by timely intervention ever make the news? “Kid gets sick, but then gets better” is not a headline that will sell cornflakes. Now, the kid dying just might get in the news, but even then there is no guarantee (see next paragraph). By accepting “must be in the news” as the only criteria you’re eliminating many other sources of confirmation.
There are several entities that track food allergies out there. Estimates of death range from 11 per year in the US to 150-200 per year due to allergies, which may or may not include allergies to things like bee stings as well as foods depending on how these things are counted, hence the range of numbers, but it’s undeniable at least some people die every year from this. Obviously their vigilance was not perfect. On top of that, the stats I got with 2 minutes of Google time reported 30,000 hospital visits a year due to food allergies. So while the likelihood someone will actually die is small we still have a few tens of thousand of people becoming seriously ill enough to need significant medical care. So… even though the evidence suggests at least 10 deaths a year due to food allergies I certainly don’t recall EVER seeing more than 1 or 2 articles in a year about such a death, and many years none at all. I certainly don’t recall any year where even a thousand stories were written about people hospitalized due allergic reactions, much less 30,000. Thus “show me a news story” is a very poor way to capture the truth of the situation.
There are several problems with managing food allergies even if, on the surface, it seems so simple:
Allergens are often disguised - if you’re allergic to peanuts you must also avoid peanut oil; if you’re allergic to cow’s milk you must also avoid casein; if you’re allergic to wheat you must also avoid soy sauce.
You have to be perfectly vigilant all the time - every meal, every snack, 24/7, and 365 days a year with no mistakes, ever. This, in a world where the food is full of additives, people have secret recipes with ingredients they won’t divulge, products can and have been mislabeled, food processing plants/lines/machinery/whatever may be contaminated by what was run through them before the current batch of food, and so on.
As seen in this thread, there can be significant social pressures to eat something - this is a hazard both for adults, and for kids who have the added problem of adults trying to force them to eat something. Kids also have the problem that bullies may attempt to force feed them something they shouldn’t eat, whether an adult bully, or other children because children can be sadistic little monsters at times.
Medications don’t always work - they may be forgotten, lost, if the person is incapacitated quickly enough they may need assistance bystanders may or may not give, and so on.
Even when they do work sometimes it’s not enough - In the Rockford, Illinois incident I was given epinephrine (what’s in Epi-pens) in the ambulance but the initial dose was not sufficient to restore proper breathing and my face/everything was still swelling up so at the ER I was given a second dose. Then they put 120 mg of solu-medorol, a steroid, on top of that. That’s the stuff I remember, I was a bit fuzzy around the edges during all this. I think there was also 100 mg of diphenhydramine, possibly more. A LOT of drugs, more than I certainly carried on my person at any one time which is why they say get the person to a hospital ever if they have an Epi-pen and they use it, because just one might not be enough. It took several hours to get my body under control that night and at that it was FAR from the worst case scenario: I never lost consciousness (entirely), I never stopped breathing (it was “just” really labored), I never had to be intubated, I didn’t get a heart attack or stroke from the medication they gave me (both of those are potential side effects of epinephrine), my brain wasn’t damaged from lack of oxygen… It is possible, even in a well-equipped hospital, for someone having an allergic reaction to die, even with the best possible care. It’s rare, thank Og it’s very rare, but it’s a real risk.
Senegoid said there were news stories where insistent hostesses **forced **a child to accept a peanut butter cookie after the kid said they were allergic. I am saying that **that **never happened and in the absence of evidence–the aforementioned news stories—I am calling bullshit. Find a cite and prove me wrong.
I suppose you just ignored the incidents I related about my school friend Janice, my niece, and myself? Honestly, people really do try to get allergic people to eat allergenic foods even after they state they are allergic.
Nice moving of the goal posts, though: if the evidence isn’t in the exact format you deem acceptable you’re happy to ignore it.
I didn’t move the goalposts. I said in my first and second posts the exact same thing that I said here—I know these things do sometimes happen. What I don’t think happened is a child dying (or whatever Senegoid was intimating happened) because a hostess at a birthday party browbeat the child into eating a peanut butter cookie after the child said he or she was allergic. You were apparently so eager to fly into a self-righteous, post-parsing rage that you missed where I said that it was that specific incident I was questioning.
I know that people feed allergic individuals (or vegetarians, or those who keep Kosher) things they should not, either out of malice or ignorance. It has actually happened to me when I had to eliminate all dairy, soy and beef from my diet while nursing my son. (Yes, Mom, butter is dairy). I still don’t think that there exists an instance—let alone several news stories—where the birthday party scenario played out. I would at least expect to read about a law suit. And that is why I said all that the factors I mentioned in my second post had to be present, in order for that specific scenario to happen. Again, if you had slowed down and read what I was actually responding to, rather than just assuming that I’m another allergy-doubter or whatever, you would have seen that.
I entertain a lot, and have the same angst. Malts summer, I had a group of friends for the weekend.
Friend 1 - celiac/GF
Friend 2 - vegetarian, but will eat bacon
Friend 3 - lactose intolerant and allergic to chicken
Friend 4 - won’t touch vegetables, loves red meat
Friend 5 - eats anything
Myself - vegetarian, but will eat shrimp and lobster
I had to plan, shop and prepare 3 breakfasts, 3 lunches and 3 dinners. It was crazy. I must have used every cooking and serving implement in the house to avoid cross contamination.
And that labored breathing is scary - 3 years ago when my cardiologist was tweaking my meds, he tried me on one that gave me an allergic reaction - I could just barely manage to keep my airway open if I tilted my head back as far as possible while we did a banzai run to the ER. [we did a 15 minute drive in 10 minutes, with my second epipen at the ready.]
And back when I was a juvenile, 14 at the time I was given penicillin while in hospital, despite me telling them that I was allergic.:rolleyes: After they treated me for anaphylaxis I got my stay for free. I really hate the intubation sore throat afterwards. Sometimes when I am in that twilight sleep phase, if I am positioned just right I hallucinate the feeling of my jaws blocked open.
Even if the host is correct, and you would probably like it, you still are in the right if you want to refuse. Even if they know that a certain beef dish is your favorite thing in the world, and they made a lamb dish that is very similar in taste but better, and everyone who loves the beef dish loves the lamb dish, and they know you don’t have any objection in eating lamb, then the host is still not in the right to pressure you into trying the lamb dish. You have the right to make your own choices, even if you might be missing out. It might not make any sense to the host why you are refusing to try the lamb dish, but after you refuse to try it, they should back off.