What a fun idea: catsix and TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW analyzing character from afar, by reading eyes. It makes me hope that someday they’ll graduate to something even more scientifically rigorous, like phrenology, and that their weekly exploits will be televised in hour-long segments brought to us by Bird’s-Eye Frozen Okra:
Excerpt from Bumps in the Night, episode xxiv, "Horns of A Dilemma:"
catsick: …and that’s how we know you’re the Cuisinart Killer, Annie. Those empty, expressionless eyes gave you away.
TLetc: And my sensitive fingers on your scalp, playing in your red curls, confirmed it, baby. I don’t regret the romance, but I’m a tad ambivalent about the “gazpacho” we shared.
catsick: Ew.
Annie: Have mercy! I’ve been picked on all my life because I’m so little. I’ve had no mother or father to protect me and teach me right from wrong!
catsick: Too late for excuses, Annie. You’re going to pay. And your little dog, too! (Sandy, in a cage, barks furiously)
Annie: All right, then, I’ll do it the messy way. Bossy!
TLetc.: catsick! Freeze!
catsick: She’s got…she’s got…
TLetc.: She’s got a cow – an animal born and bred for unthinking violence. You’ve got no chance fighting it, catsick: we’re going to have to try to out-think it.
Bossy: Moooooo.
catsick: TLetc, I’m frightened!
Annie: Bossy, kill! (Music swells, fade to third commercial break)