OK, here’s a game I’ve been toying with, thought I’d see if there’s any interest. Mrs. Evil Captor (my more evil half) loves to visit a site called “the J-list” which deals with all things Japanese of interest to us English-speaking types. One of the regular features on the site is what they called “Jengrished” language – basically, attempts to write signs, labels, etc., in English by translators who are close, but don’t quite have the hang of it. My all time favorite was a warning label on a large kitchen knife that said, “Do not leave in children.”
Now, suppose you are one of these Jengrish-style translators and you’ve been asked to write English descriptions of various US TV programs and movies for a website cable grid listing for some strange reason. What do you come up with? I think it might go something like this:
Charmed - Sunday, 8 pm
Magic Girl Piper discovers that Magic Girl Pru wants go porno-porno on hidden demon man. Can stop before Magic Girl is eaten and lose cuteness?
NCIS - Tuesday, 8 pm
Corpse hunter watermen discover leftovers of missing waterman in frozen cow repository. How get there and who by?
Will and Grace: Yaoi boys and aging cuteness girl cannot resolve living problems. Much humiliation!
[ul]
[li]CSI Miami-Monday 10PM–Standing sunglass man philosophize to protect attractive bathing suit people. How to remove stick from his bunghole? :D[/li][/ul]
I used to work in a bookstore that sold Japanese magazines that frequently had English blurbs on the cover. The Englsih was never grammatically correct and, sometimes, downright weird. My favorite was the men’s magazine that cried in big red letters “How to Sex”
I imagine that a Japanese description of BuffyTVS would have read something like this:
Blonde girl is too sexy at night. She fight too evil monsters with much blood. Will not want fight but must does to save afraid friends. All scary monsters. Many lesbians.
