Wow, this is straight out of the “Jews use the blood of Christian babies to bake their bread” book.
Why don’t Baptists go to orgies?
There might be dancing.
Too bad those Muslims aren’t talking to Walter Sobchak. I have it on good authority that he can get me a human toe. There are ways, Dude. You don’t want to know about it. He could get me a human toe by 3pm this afternoon, with nail polish.
I can only assume he could get his hands on some Christian blood, no questions asked… and probably for a lot cheaper than $100,000. Fuckin’ amateurs.
With some it gets even weirder. The Independent Baptists (Jack Chick is one) believe in “Bapist Successionism” – the notion that Baptists never broke with the Catholic Church because they were never really in it; when Constantine set up his fake Christianity, the real Christians (Baptists) went underground, and did not come out again until the Reformation.
Hence the thread title.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa there, cowboy. If I’m making $100,000 a point there’s no way in hell I’m going to cheat my customers by cutting it with fake blood. I’ve got principles.
An Episcopalian is a Methodist with money, a Methodist is a Baptist with shoes.
The way I read it:
An Episcopalian is a Presbyterian with a trust fund.
A Presbyterian is a Methodist with a college education.
And a Methodist is a Baptist with shoes.
What was the next one? A Baptist is a Pentecostal who took a bath, or something like that?
Never heard that one, but I’ll add it in the future.
That’s kind like the history of every little occult group, claiming they’ve actually been around for hundreds if not thousands of years - and not just cooked up in someone’s head less than a hundred years ago.
Oops, yes, there was a title to this thread, wasn’t there?
FREEMASONS, n. An order with secret rites, grotesque ceremonies and fantastic costumes, which, originating in the reign of Charles II, among working artisans of London, has been joined successively by the dead of past centuries in unbroken retrogression until now it embraces all the generations of man on the hither side of Adam and is drumming up distinguished recruits among the pre-Creational inhabitants of Chaos and Formless Void. The order was founded at different times by Charlemagne, Julius Caesar, Cyrus, Solomon, Zoroaster, Confucious, Thothmes, and Buddha. Its emblems and symbols have been found in the Catacombs of Paris and Rome, on the stones of the Parthenon and the Chinese Great Wall, among the temples of Karnak and Palmyra and in the Egyptian Pyramids — always by a Freemason.
– Ambrose Bierce
Wait, are you perhaps suggesting that a website which ran a “news item” promoting a conference featuring “Tom Horn, the author of ‘Petrus Romanus: The Final Pope is Here,’ [who] will discuss ‘The Vatican, Pope and UFOs – How Are They Linked?’ [and] Joel Richardson, an expert on Islam and author of ‘The Islamic Antichrist,’ ‘Islam and the End Times,’ and ‘The Mideast Beast,’ [who] will address ‘The Impact of Islam.’” might have some credibility issues?
A Baptist is a Pentecostal who is afraid of snakes.
:dubious: See here, now, bllabibllaa yerikoth mlorn fa doo ra gleps!
For some reason I keep seeing the thread title and thinking “Lee Corso”. At the end of his rant, he puts a big foam rubber head of Osama bin Laden on his head.
I shouldn’t think so. Auto- = self, cephalos = head, so autocephalous must perforce mean “has [their] own head”.
Which describes everyone, but I still should print that on my business cards. Probably can milk a 10% mark-up for being the only avowedly autocephalous specialist on the market.
My contribution:
An Episcopalian is a Presbyterian with a trust fund.
A Presbyterian is a Methodist with a college education.
A Methodist is a Baptist with shoes.
And a Baptist is a Pentecostal whose snake died.
So basically they speak in parseltongue?